Gotta Watch: Quodoushka Testimonials
- Hunting Marianne ~ an ode to finding Shakti anywhere October 14, 2014
- Global Shakti Gratitude October 13, 2014
- Amara’s favorite way to Heat the Home, Heart, and Hearth October 8, 2014
- EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE: from a gorgeous Alpha Gentleman September 21, 2014
- FAQ: Quodoushka Spiritual Sexuality Workshop – Amara Charles September 18, 2014
Tag Archives: spiritual sexuality
I’ve come to think that just about anyone loves permission to talk about sex.
Once you you peel away the veils that like getting lifted, I notice it’s the same everywhere I go. And I love hunting Beauty wherever it lands; coaxing it to peek through the shyness, enchanting it to smile, wonder or sing just a little bit more than it should. I like taking down the weight of walls nobody likes holding up.
It’s how I hunted Marianne, a Jew from Uzbekistan sitting next to me on the plane from JFK To Phoenix. Even before I notice all the yamakas and delicious scent of food passing across the aisles, she catches my eye by the way she covers
her hair and keeps tugging her skirt to cover her legs. But it’s how she inadvertently keeps brushing back her two year old’s soft brown curls that really has me smitten.
A lot of kids get cranky at take off, but Samuel stares wide-eyed out the window and giggles the whole way up. He seems blessed with an unusual dose of gentle intelligence.
It was Marianne who convinces me that given the time, a curious mood and the right questions, just about anyone will tell you anything . We start with casual banter about the Jewish holidays and then her nose flares slightly when I
tell her what I do. In her world of conservative Jews, no one’s written a book about sex. So she’s clearly delighted to me a few tell me things about her husband, all the while glancing at the floor to guard affections.
As Samuel begins to tire, I offer her a few tips and she asks for my card. I’m writing in the darkness when she says ‘You should put the light on. It’s bad for your eyes.’ Exactly what my Mom used to say to me as a child.
I must have the Shakti shine all over me because when I go to the back of the plane to get water for tea Regina, the Black, South Korean flight attendant and I begin doing it again. I think people like talking to strangers, especially ones like me.
In 3 minutes I know she’s going down in beauty. First she tells me about her trips to South Korea with her Buddhist family, saying ‘I feel like an alien American duck. They touch all the time..” And then she whispers into my
ear, ‘My mother even massages my brother like it’s no big deal.’
The conversation heats up as I pour more water into our paper cups of puer tea.
Regina edges back whenever I mention relationships. I can tell she’s itching
to talk and I know she’s hiding something. So finally I ask, ‘Are you seeing anyone?’
‘Yes’ she says, ‘I’m very much in love with someone I’ve known for a very longtime.’ The final cup of tea yields a tentative proclamation: ‘It’s a woman.’
“Well I’ll be‘ I say. ‘ I live with a woman too!’ We’re already FB friends.
New York was the perfect cherry of our global Shakti adventures meeting
succulent women from Germany, Croatia, Sloyania, Wales, China, Iran, Russia, Tibet across the US and Texas.
When I got home at 1am the electricity was out. I could’ve mulled over the meaning this, but instead I called APS in the morning. Apparently, I was informed, ‘Your power is disconnected due to lack of payment.”
Ah yes. Paying bills. So good to be home for a sec. I’m actually writing this en route to Kauai and Maui for our Quodoushka Intimacy Retreats..
Quehestemeha You Dance In My Heart
P.s. Still time to register for the November Q2 in Phoenix..
And for men and women we have Quodoushka’s in Phoenix, Texas and a new SHIVA SHAKTI workshop ~ an introduction to Spiritual Sexuality in Santa Fe,NM January 9-11 2015.
These are some of the common Questions people ask about Quodoushka Spiritual Sexuality Workshops.
Can I come to a Quodoushka Workshop without a partner?
Yes! You may attend Quodoushka I and II as a single or attend with a partner.
For Quodoushka Three, you must attend with a partner.
Is it better to come with a partner?
Many people ask this question because they think, ‘oh, I can’t explore anything about my sexuality until I have a partner.’
I would say, please do not wait to have a partner to attend a Quodoushka!
It’s a common relationship mistake to think that our sexual sense of ourselves comes from outside. The truth is, our life force energy is ours, and until we feel good, whole and healthy in our own skin, and until we learn to accept ourselves we really have trouble deserving pleasure from someone else. And there is so much to explore about ourselves sexually. You may experience intimate feelings you never really articulated or even thought possible…
If you attend as a single, (even if you have a partner), you will untangle so
many beliefs about sex, and get so clear about your own feelings that you will return to your everyday life with such an attractive glow about you that people will ask you , ‘what happened?’
(we hear this all the time.)
But most important, you will not only be blessed with a temporary glow, you will learn practical intimate communication skills that will enhance your relationships for a life time.
That’s why I say ‘Do not wait to attend a Quodoushka’ . If you attend as a single now You’ll be in a much better place within your self to find, attract, or rekindle a current relationship.
What if I want to come with my partner?
Of course you can come with your partner, and if you choose, you can do all the exercises together to share an exquisite and profound healing space for your relationship. The Quodoushka experience is simply an amazing, intimate way to celebrate your union. You will learn ways to talk about and make clear sexual agreements around things most of us, often mistakenly take for granted.
We’ve even had couples who chose to come to Quodoushka to celebrate their honeymoon, and to recharge a ‘broken’ relationship.
If you think you already know what your partner likes and wants it’s more than likely not exactly so. All partners can benefit from learning more, especially about your self first. There’s so much that happens in both QI and QII that will give you practical insights about how to shift habits and patterns that keep you stuck in doing the same things over and over in your intimate life.
While we cannot guarantee Quodoushka will fix every issue in your relationship, we can say you will receive the tools to create enduring and more fulfilling sexual intimacy.
What if my partner does not want to go?
It’s often the case that one partner wants to go and one is not ready. I always say, if that’s the case, one of you should go, make clear agreements, and then share what you’ve learned with your beloved. (if you need help doing this, our staff is here to help you before and after the Q.)
Many times, when one partner goes, later, when they’ve seen the positive changes, the other partner wants to attend! Then you can have one go as a single, or you can both come to experience the Quodoushka together.
What if I am Gay, will I benefit? Are Gay people welcome?
Quodoushka is open to all sexual preferences. We honor and teach that we all have a choice about what kind of relationship we could best learn and grow from. It’s one of the most accepting and loving spaces you will find to celebrate, share and express who you truly are.
If you have questions or concerns about how you would like to participate, our staff is ready to help you before, during, and after the Q.
What About Sexual Safety?
We take great care to create a sexually safe environment, and we fully advocate and practice safe sexual practices.
Is there nudity in Quodoushka?
This is the next big question. First of all, in all Quodoushka Workshops there is never anything that you must do. There’s so many things in our sexuality that we do because other people told us to, or because other people wanted something. Sometimes we were not sure what we wanted, and sometimes we didn’t know how to no and maybe regretted that. All these sorts of things happen in our intimate life.
That’s why there’s a great focus in the Q1 is getting to YOUR own ‘Yes. This is what I want’. And, about getting clear about YOUR own ‘No. This is not what I want.”
The Q1 experience is about learning to feel, clarify and express what we want in our intimate life. And it’s a chance to practice saying it.
This is a round about way of saying that there will never be anything in a Quodoushka workshop that you need to do if you don’t want to. You will always be at choice every step of the way. So with nudity,
you may practice everything clothed, or you may choose to do the exercises without clothing. That’s entirely up to you. I will say that the vast majority of people who come to Quodoushka experience a level of safety and respect with a group they’ve never felt in their lives. So, if you’re nervous about that, please don’t worry, a lot of other people are too. The most important thing is that Quodoushka is a safe place to practice making and expressing your own sexual agreements.
I think the hidden question is, and perhaps the question people want to ask but often shy away from, is about the other people. They wonder if there will be sexual advances, or if there will be sexually explicit things going on.
Firstly, our trained staff speaks directly to every person who attends Quodoushka to determine whether they are ready to attend and there are no sexually explicit exercises in QI or QII. We do have frank discussions about sexuality, orgasms and sexual anatomy, and there are exercises that involve touch. We encourage an atmosphere where it is okay to talk about, feel and express orgasmic energy, and each person is at choice
with how they make agreements and do each exercise.
About the Exercises:
First, every exercise is demonstrated, then you practice the exercise with a partner, and then we gather to discuss what we learned.
Some exercises are solo, some are with a partner, and some we do together as a group.
Finally, most people of course want to know:
What happens in a Quodoushka?
While we do not provide a schedule for Quodoushka, this is the general flow of the 3 1/2 day workshop. (unless it is an extended Q):
Please Note: These are just the bare bones of what happens in Quodoushka. (I have intentionally left out some of the most unique, fun and special things that happen during the weekend. Why? Because some people just love to be surprised.)
Also: each Quodoushka Teacher may position topics and exercises in their own unique way. Every Quodoushka Workshop includes these essential teachings, exercises and practices.
We open with introductions and a history of where the Quodoushka teachings come from. We do a few spoken teachings on relationship choices, and we use these teachings to share and listen to everyone’s intent for being here. This is followed by a ceremony to help everyone set their own intention for the weekend.
We also create specific agreements for the group including the rules for safety and confidentiality. This ensures our rules of engagement during the weekend provides a safe container and a safe environment for each person to learn about and explore their sexuality.
We begin with morning teachings to open our senses and balance our energy.
This is followed with exercises that bring these teachings into the body, such as chakra balancing as well as other exercises which show us how to use our energy centers.
We serve a beautiful lunch each day.
This rest of the day is devoted to expanding our concept and awareness of what sexual energy is and what it isn’t. The afternoon is filled with more teachings about how we can feel, sense and use our energy centers in very specific ways to expand our awareness of self, life and others.
The evening is devoted to the demonstration and practice of a Shamanic Healing practice used to clear away blocks and pave the way for being able to feel more pleasure in the body.
We do late into the evening. (see your particular Q Schedule to see beginning, meal and ending times).
This is an amazing day of discovering new things about your sexual self.
There are interactive teachings and healing exercises to help us ground, feel and express a more empowered sense of self. Teachings during the morning provide answers to questions about why we sometimes react so childishly, or with so much negative emotion when it comes to intimacy and sex. We start the day practical tools to help us see our selves with more awareness so we can wake up and take responsibility for what we want.
The afternoon is devoted to a very special Shamanic ceremony that is designed to help you lift deeply held layers of shame and guilt about our sexuality.
The evening‘s exercise and ceremony is designed to bring out different faces of your lover’s persona, and it’s designed to help you accept and feel worthy of more pleasure in your life.
Part of the last day is devoted to learning amazing things about orgasms, levels of orgasms, and types of orgasms. There’s also ample space given to sharing and and expressing the things we’ve learned and gained.
One of the most significant things that happens in every Quodoushka is that you will have the chance to hear other people’s journey; what they’ve gained and what they’re giving away. In fact, sharing personal blocks, defeats and victories is one of the hidden treasures that happens in every Quodoushka, and it’s also where much of the healing happens, for we realize again and again, we are not alone.
Plus, sharing within the Q Matrix is profoundly uplifting, for you will not hear or experience these kinds of amazing intimate breakthroughs anywhere else in the world.
Our final closing ceremonies are designed to help us ground our gains and seal the love to take it home into all our relations.
In beauty, Amara
(c) Amara Charles 2014
If you have other questions, please email me at email@example.com
Amara Charles is the author of the Sexual Practices of Quodoushka available here, or on Amazon and Barnes and Noble
A beta male knows nothing higher than himself; but an alpha male instantly recognizes genius.
I’ve had more comments from Five Things Women do in the Presence of an Alpha Male than any article I’ve written so far. Maybe having ‘What is an Alpha man?‘ on my mind turned me into some kind of magnet for them because for the last few weeks I’ve been quite dazzled by the alpha men who keep popping up around me.
Yesterday, at my favorite coffee shop a man who always wants to know what I’m writing asked, ‘What do you think is Alpha?’… I suppose he has to show you, he sort of has to prove he’s better than other guys.’
‘Yes. Maybe it’s true.’ I said, but as I explained that it’s all in the way he proves himself, he interrupted me with his real question: ‘Am I an Alpha man?’ More …
Yesterday I spoke with a couple having intimacy issues.
They were eager to give me the list of wasn’t working.
‘The first thing’ I said ‘you must to drop the habit of beginning with
You will never feel like being intimate
by constantly bringing up what has not worked.
Constant criticism defeats desire. I suggested they spend
the week sharing as many sweet memories as they could.
When I get hooked into the habit of bringing up disappointing things, I first have to notice that I am doing this. When we are asleep to how our unkind words put out the fire of our passion we keep going down this futile tunnel.
The only juice you get from trying to correct your lover by pointing out what went wrong the last time is being ‘right’. Even if you manage to score a point with even tiny insults, you are going to feel alone. We certainly know that insulting our lover is a dead end, but sometimes that perverse habit of criticizing wins the moment, and we say unkind things. Our ego is seems to win the battle, but our hearts always suffer.
It may sound trite to say as many kind things as you can to your lover, but in the realm of intimacy, it’s particularly true. We can retrain our minds to consciously speak of times when things worked well. Make it a habit to recall excellence, beauty and tenderness. Deliberately share victories with your beloved throughout your day. It’s simple, and it works. You just have to do it often enough to put your brain in the proper state of mind to be more loving and kind to each other.
Make it a point to share several beautiful memories and see what happens in the bedroom. I hope you’re pleasantly surprised what flows naturally from your hearts.
Because Beauty is a Living State of Love.
I believe happiness in our intimate relations can change the world. Our feminine and masculine essence is absolutely precious; and when we can give this freely, without any expectation of return, it is the most valuable substance on earth.
How we give our most sacred, most special essence is a matter of practicing the skill of what the Buddhists call ‘Exchanging Your Self for Others’.
We tend to think our most intimate expressions happen under the sheets wrapped in the arms of a lover. Yet, the secret to having more of these moments, if this is what you want, is by practicing Benevolent Compassion.
Exchanging Your Self for Others is an active practice of Benevolent Compassion. It’s a matter of learning to observe by watching, asking questions to find out, noticing reactions, and constantly listening for clues about what someone likes. You will begin to see that the most revealing clues about what we really like come out unconsciously. More …
The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka: Teachings from the Nagual Tradition (Paperback)
I just started to read the book, and I am already thankful. I too was pretty much left in limbo regarding sexual relations when I was growing up. I got the church’s doctrine on the matter: don’t do it…you’ll get someone pregnant…it’s a sin to even think about it…oh, and it is also a sin to explore your own body through masturbation. There was no practical guidance from church, parents, or teachers as I stumbled through my sexual experiences and wondered why my experiences didn’t measure up to those displayed in the popular media (advertising, movies, magazines, etc.). Emotional and physical sexual development for me was done in the dark and always with a mental battle as to whether I should even be exploring this aspect of my personality. Some sort of mentoring process would have been very beneficial. Actually, In fact, I am sure it would still be beneficial since being mid-aged now I feel as though I have just barely scratched the surface of my sexual potential. I guess that is why I searched and found Quodoushka.The first chapter of the book has made me keenly aware of the source of my fairly recent feelings of being an insufficient parent for my young teenage children. This wasn’t a problem when they were younger, but I have difficulty now as they are starting to think about the opposite sex and sex in general. I would really like to give my kids some guidance other than the rhetoric and limbo I was given at that age, but I haven’t known how to even begin. Too much information before they are ready for it could be just as damaging as too little. Thankfully, I am also realizing from the text that I have already started my children on a solid path through my introducing them to nature and showing them the value of being observant in life and a good steward at home, school, and in the world. I am looking forward to learning much more about my sexual and parental potentials as I continue to read this wonderful book of knowledge.
Thank you for sharing this Dancing Yogi. I cannot tell you how many people – from all different cultures- I have met who have had little or no real sexual guidance or education from anyone.As I mention in this book, the harm caused by perpetuating negative attitudes about sex is immeasurable for when we do not have something instilled at the core of our being that says that sex is healthy, natural and good, it weakens the joy in every connection we make. When we have to hide our pleasure, when we feel guilty for the natural joy that creation has given us it paves the way for confusion in our adult relationships. Why in the world would we want to pass on this legacy? I commend you for your simple wisdom and for trying to introduce the world of sex to your children by having them look into the natural world around them. I am happy that my book inspired you to do something you probably already knew. I loved writing the chapter on An Initiation into the World of Sexuality. In many ways, it’s just plain common sense, yet because so many of us never had a good introduction to our sexuality, we get confused. We want to give our children the best we can, but we don’t always know how. As I say in many different ways in my book, the best thing we can do for our children is to get clear ourselves, heal the wounds we can, and then honestly answer the questions they ask.
I am thrilled by the responses from so many parents who are showing my book to young teens. They appreciate having some real guidance, and a starting place to talk about sex. A lot of people ask me ‘when should I show my children?’ I always say, ‘when they are interested, when they ask.’
I still see so many fine people that are hindered and held back from love and intimacy because of sexual things that happened to them when they were young. It takes a tremendous effort to overcome the wounds that happen because of ignorance, and again I commend you for taking steps to put the misinformation behind you. Many of us may wish we had these teachings way earlier, but I know it’s time now to begin a life of more care and sensitivity for your self, Mother Life, and others.
Thank you for sharing.
Here’s what folks are saying about Quodoushka:
Thank you so much for the safe space allowing me to blossom and to flower and feel the thrill in my opening and watching others open up too. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Your commitment, dedication and passion is pouring out of each of you. Your knowledge is powerful, but your love and care fills me.
As intimidating as it was for me to come with my partner, the fun we had, the things we learned about ourselves and each other are beyond expectation. Maybe we can be together another 30 years? –Skip
This was one of the most profound and life changing workshops I have ever attended. It is so refreshing to have plain talk and instruction on the subject of sex and sensual relations. This teaching and practice will change all my relationships from this point forward. I feel like I have been given a special tool kit to help me on my growing path. –James, Aerospace Engineer
Beautiful people! Why didn’t I know about this sooner!!! Thank you for being so compassionate!! I really felt like I could be myself around all of you! You made me smile, laugh, and cry! It was so emotional and worth it! Exciting! You are all AMAZING people and inspire me to truly, truly live life to the fullest and to stop worrying and to live in the moment and to just let it happen! –Kathy, Teaching Aide
Thank you for being authentic, empathetic, professional, loving, present, sensitive and non-shaming. So much love. Thank you. Deeelish food. Thank you. Care to know our names. Thank you. Respect for us a monogamous couple. Thank you. Loved the gratitude with gifts. Thank you. Wonderful attentiveness to food. Thank you. Unexpected diversity of ages, experiences, ideas, directions, sexuality. Perrrfecto!! –Mary, Yoga Studio Owner/Teacher
- See more at: http://www.amaracharles.com
Phoenix Quodoushka 1 Jan 31st- Feb 2nd / Phoenix Q2 Nov 7-10/ Maui Q1 October 24-28/ NYC Q1 April 10-13 - click Here for details
Join us on FB Amara Charles- Nourishing Arts or Amara Charles on Twitter
Go see this movie.
Why? Because it’s not only lovely to watch truth crawling through the covers reaching below the belt of collective consciousness, it shows where men and women are not different in the places that count.
While it’s hardly a blockbuster, the fact that ‘The Sessions’ made it to the screen is a testimony to the raw power of sex. And there’s no better way to see such a movie than with a group of women dedicated to compassionate sex and intimacy. So when our Yin Way woman’s class filled a row in the theater, we rooted for this true story of a quadriplegic, virginal 38-year-old writer (John Hawks) and his married sexual surrogate (Helen Hunt).
The story is not only boldly intimate, quirky and touching, Hollywood got the message right: More …
The First New Zealand Sexuality and Consciousness
Symposium: Blockhouse Bay Boat Club, March 31-April 1.
Opening Evening: The Temple in Mt Eden, March 29, 7pm
(Quodoushka night, April 2).
There’s a lot of “sharing” here, and it can
mean a lot of things. Normally, sitting in a
circle and summing up how you feel in this
moment. I feel fine — just warming up. Over
organic coffee, the charismatic American
Quodoushaka expert tells me that I might
be an Antelope Woman — just from the way
I talk. “Soften up,” she says. I will.
By evening, I have listened enough. It’s
time to interact. Other conferences might
offer you a golf tournament as a social event
— well, here they have an “intimate night”. It
starts with a big circle. The women outside,
the men inside, move with the music, change
partners. Then gaze into someone’s eyes,
say something nice to a stranger, do a little
twist. A bit like speed dating, but without
trying to impress — just attracting through
radiance and openness. It’s great fun. None
of those micro-connections has to mean
anything. There’s no attachment, no pickup
plan. I notice the handsome man in the
silk kaftan for the first time and just enjoy
that his eyes linger.
The next bit is harder. More …
This is a video poem from my recently released best selling book: ‘The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka’ This clip shows the difference between clinical western approach affects sex, and how the more nature based language of Quodoushka can uplift and inspire more magical sexual experiences.
This is perhaps the Best Love Letter I’ve ever read and you’ll never believe who wrote it.
My Darling Wife
This note is to warn you of a diabolical plot entered into by some of our so called friends – (ha!) calendar makers and even our own children. These and others would have you believe we’ve been married 20 years.
20 minutes maybe – but never 20 years. In the first place it is a known fact that a human cannot sustain the high level of happiness I feel for more than a few minutes – and my happiness keeps increasing.
I will confess to one puzzlement but I’m sure it is just some trick perpetrated by our friends – (Ha again!) I can’t remember ever being without you and I know I was born more than 20 mins ago.
Oh well – that isn’t important. The important thing is I don’t want to be without you for the next 20 years, or 40, or however many there are. I’ve gotten very used to being happy and I love you very much indeed.
Your Husband of 20 something or other.
Signed Ronald Reagan when he was governor of California in 1972. He wrote his note to Nancy on their 20th wedding anniversary.
What’s the Best Love Letter You’ve Ever Read?
The Nectar of Immortality has the flavor of sweet peaches; the scent of rose oil and it causes your heart to swell with the urge to give. When this vapor is in your mind, you let go of worry and it pops the balloons of stress, sorrow and anger stored in your cells. Past transgressions become irrelevant, whatever keeps you from acting kindly dissolves and it gives you power to face anything. More …
Yes! We did it! Our Worldwide request to buy on Amazon Worked! Thank you everyone who bought a copy, bought tons of copies on Amazon, and gifts for friends. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You! From now on, we can say that ‘The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka’ is a Best Seller!. Woo Hoo!
We are #1 Best Selling on Amazon in Shamanism! More …