Tag Archives: sex and intimacy

FAQ: Quodoushka Spiritual Sexuality Workshop – Amara Charles

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Q Fire

These are some of the common Questions people ask about Quodoushka Spiritual Sexuality Workshops.

Can I come to a Quodoushka Workshop without a partner?
Yes! You may attend Quodoushka I and II as a single or attend with a partner.
For Quodoushka Three, you must attend with a partner.

Is it better to come with a partner?

Many people ask this question because they think, ‘oh, I can’t explore anything about my sexuality until I have a partner.’

I would say, please do not wait to have a partner to attend a Quodoushka!

It’s a common relationship mistake to think that our sexual sense of ourselves comes from outside. The truth is, our life force energy is ours, and until we feel good, whole and healthy in our own skin, and until we learn to accept ourselves we really have trouble deserving pleasure from someone else. And there is so much to explore about ourselves sexually. You may experience intimate feelings you never really articulated or even thought possible…
If you attend as a single, (even if you have a partner), you will untangle so
many beliefs about sex, and get so clear about your own feelings that you will return to your everyday life with such an attractive glow about you that people will ask you , ‘what happened?’
(we hear this all the time.)

But most important, you will not only be blessed with a temporary glow, you will learn practical intimate communication skills that will enhance your relationships for a life time.

That’s why I say ‘Do not wait to attend a Quodoushka’ . If you attend as a single now You’ll be in a much better place within your self to find, attract, or rekindle a current relationship.

What if I want to come with my partner?

Of course you can come with your partner, and if you choose, you can do all the exercises together to share an exquisite and profound healing space for your relationship. The Quodoushka experience is simply an amazing, intimate way to celebrate your union. You will learn ways to talk about and make clear sexual agreements around things most of us, often mistakenly take for granted.

We’ve even had couples who chose to come to Quodoushka to celebrate their honeymoon, and to recharge a ‘broken’ relationship.

If you think you already know  what your partner likes and wants it’s more than likely not exactly so. All partners can benefit from learning more, especially about your self first. There’s so much that happens in both QI and QII that will give you practical insights about how to shift habits and patterns that keep you stuck in doing the same things over and over in your intimate life.

While we cannot guarantee Quodoushka will fix every issue in your relationship, we can say you will receive the tools to create enduring and more fulfilling sexual intimacy.

What if my partner does not want to go?

It’s often the case that one partner wants to go and one is not ready. I always say, if that’s the case, one of you should go, make clear agreements, and then share what you’ve learned with your beloved. (if you need help doing this, our staff is here to help you before and after the Q.)

Many times, when one partner goes, later, when they’ve seen the positive changes, the other partner wants to attend! Then you can have one go as a single, or you can both come to experience the Quodoushka together.

What if I am Gay, will I benefit? Are Gay people welcome?

Yes!

Quodoushka is open to all sexual preferences. We honor and teach that we all have a choice about what kind of relationship we could best learn and grow from. It’s one of the most accepting and loving spaces you will find to celebrate, share and express who you truly are.

If you have questions or concerns about how you would like to participate, our staff is ready to help you before, during, and after the Q.

What About Sexual Safety?

We take great care to create a sexually safe environment, and we fully advocate and practice safe sexual practices.

Is there nudity in Quodoushka?

This is the next big question. First of all, in all Quodoushka Workshops there is never anything that you must do. There’s so many things in our sexuality that we do because other people told us to, or because other people wanted something. Sometimes we were not sure what we wanted, and sometimes we didn’t know how to no and maybe regretted that. All these sorts of things happen in our intimate life.
That’s why there’s a great focus in the Q1 is getting to YOUR own ‘Yes. This is what I want’. And, about getting clear about YOUR own ‘No. This is not what I want.”
The Q1 experience is about learning to feel, clarify and express what we want in our intimate life. And it’s a chance to practice saying it.

This is a round about way of saying that there will never be anything in a Quodoushka workshop that you need to do if you don’t want to. You will always be at choice every step of the way. So with nudity,
you may practice everything clothed, or you may choose to do the exercises without clothing. That’s entirely up to you. I will say that the vast majority of people who come to Quodoushka experience a level of safety and respect with a group they’ve never felt in their lives. So, if you’re nervous about that, please don’t worry, a lot of other people are too. The most important thing is that Quodoushka is a safe place to practice making and expressing your own sexual agreements.

I think the hidden question is, and perhaps the question people want to ask but often shy away from, is about the other people. They wonder if there will be sexual advances, or if there will be sexually explicit things going on.

Firstly, our trained staff speaks directly to every person who attends Quodoushka to determine whether they are ready to attend and there are no sexually explicit exercises in QI or QII. We do have frank discussions about sexuality, orgasms and sexual anatomy, and there are exercises that involve touch. We encourage an atmosphere where it is okay to talk about, feel and express orgasmic energy, and each person is at choice
with how they make agreements and do each exercise.

About the Exercises:

First, every exercise is demonstrated, then you practice the exercise with a partner, and then we gather to discuss what we learned.

Some exercises are solo, some are with a partner, and some we do together as a group.

Finally, most people of course want to know:

What happens in a Quodoushka?

While we do not provide a schedule for Quodoushka, this is the general flow of the 3 1/2 day workshop. (unless it is an extended Q):

Please Note: These are just the bare bones of what happens in Quodoushka. (I have intentionally left out some of the most unique, fun and special things that happen during the weekend. Why? Because some people just love to be surprised.)

Also: each Quodoushka Teacher may position topics and exercises in their own unique way. Every Quodoushka Workshop includes these essential teachings, exercises and practices.

First Evening
We open with introductions and a history of where the Quodoushka teachings come from. We do a few spoken teachings on relationship choices, and we use these teachings to share and listen to everyone’s intent for being here. This is followed by a ceremony to help everyone set their own intention for the weekend.

We also create specific agreements for the group including the rules for safety and confidentiality. This ensures our rules of engagement during the weekend provides a safe container and a safe environment for each person to learn about and explore their sexuality.

First Day
We begin with morning teachings to open our senses and balance our energy.
This is followed with exercises that bring these teachings into the body, such as chakra balancing as well as other exercises which show us how to use our energy centers.

We serve a beautiful lunch each day.

This rest of the day is devoted to expanding our concept and awareness of what sexual energy is and what it isn’t. The afternoon is filled with more teachings about how we can feel, sense and use our energy centers in very specific ways to expand our awareness of self, life and others.

The evening is devoted to the demonstration and practice of a Shamanic Healing practice used to clear away blocks and pave the way for being able to feel more pleasure in the body.

We do late into the evening. (see your particular Q Schedule to see beginning, meal and ending times).

Second Day
This is an amazing day of discovering new things about your sexual self.

There are interactive teachings and healing exercises to help us ground, feel and express a more empowered sense of self. Teachings during the morning provide answers to questions about why we sometimes react so childishly, or with so much negative emotion when it comes to intimacy and sex. We start the day practical tools to help us see our selves with more awareness so we can wake up and take responsibility for what we want.

The afternoon is devoted to a very special Shamanic ceremony that is designed to help you lift deeply held layers of shame and guilt about our sexuality.

The evening‘s exercise and ceremony is designed to bring out different faces of your lover’s persona, and it’s designed to help you accept and feel worthy of more pleasure in your life.

Day Three
Part of the last day is devoted to learning amazing things about orgasms, levels of orgasms, and types of orgasms. There’s also ample space given to sharing and and expressing the things we’ve learned and gained.

One of the most significant things that happens in every Quodoushka is that you will have the chance to hear other people’s journey; what they’ve gained and what they’re giving away. In fact, sharing personal blocks, defeats and victories is one of the hidden treasures that happens in every Quodoushka, and it’s also where much of the healing happens, for we realize again and again, we are not alone.

Plus, sharing within the Q Matrix is profoundly uplifting, for you will not hear or experience these kinds of amazing intimate breakthroughs anywhere else in the world.

Our final closing ceremonies are designed to help us ground our gains and seal the love to take it home into all our relations.

In beauty, Amara

(c) Amara Charles 2014

If you have other questions, please email me at amara@amaracharles.com

www.amaracharles.com

Amara Charles is the author of the Sexual Practices of Quodoushka available here, or on Amazon and Barnes and Noble

Five Ways To Spot An Alpha Male

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Alpha Male

A beta male knows nothing higher than himself; but an alpha male instantly recognizes genius. 

I’ve had more comments from Five Things Women do in the Presence of an Alpha Male than any article I’ve written so far. Maybe having ‘What is an Alpha man?‘ on my mind turned me into some kind of magnet for them because for the last few weeks I’ve been quite dazzled by the alpha men who keep popping up around me.  

Yesterday, at my favorite coffee shop a man who always wants to know what I’m writing asked, ‘What do you think is Alpha?’… I suppose he has to show you, he sort of has to prove he’s better than other guys.’   

‘Yes. Maybe it’s true.’ I said, but as I explained that it’s all in the way he proves himself, he interrupted me with his real question: ‘Am I an Alpha man?’ More …

A Daring Sexy Way to Celebrate Your Love

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Lynn and Mark

Bailey Masks VideoWatch this wonderful erotic story about an adventure Lynn and her husband Mark created. It’s a fantastic idea for any couple who would like to celebrate their intimacy in a most daring and risque way…

 

THROUGH THE EYES OF THE LOVERS

What follows is our story of how we came to have David Steinberg take nine rolls of film of us while making love. It explains our motivation, our fears, but most of all how David was able to get us to a point of total comfort before, during and after the shoot. The results were absolutely fantastic in projecting the tenderness, love, joy, silliness, fun and total ecstasy that we felt while making love for the photo session.

We are a couple who took a giant leap from having had “boudoir” pictures taken, to having an almost 2 hour photo shoot during a most intimate love making session. Our boudoir session involved full nudity, but only holding and caressing for the pictures; we are both comfortable with nudity, having sex in unusual places and taking pictures and movies of ourselves. We were initially nervous with the  pictures being taken by others, but relaxed gradually as the session proceeded—most “poses” were directed by the photographer (David was not the photographer).  There were enough shots that projected eroticism and our expanding erotic nature that we had five collages made suitable for matting and framing. The pictures (proofs & collages) combined with having seen several “erotic” pictures of other couples taken by David suggested to us that we should try to express our intimacy in pictures while making love. Though we were nervous and almost reluctant to attempt it when we first discussed it, we were very comfortable, at ease and felt natural during our shoot. The difference in our comfort level was initially reading David’s article “Real Sex In Front Of the Camera”, but the most benefit and impact came from our pre shoot discussions with David.

From the first time we spoke with David by phone until he snapped the first picture, he emphasized that he had NO agenda and that his role was to capture what we projected. He would not direct, position or critique us. We felt we could see that concept in the various sets of pictures of other couples we had seen.  We did not want pictures to put on an amateur porn site, or pictures to shock or titillate others. We wanted pictures to reflect our feeling for, and closeness with, each other during our love making. The same feelings and emotions that during our regular love making has made us shriek, laugh, gasp, groan or cry depending on some variable yet to be identified.  We wanted on film how we felt more than how we looked.

One suggestion that David made well beforehand that served us well, was not to over think or over complicate what we included while making love for the camera. We have many techniques, toys, positions and bondage equipment that are frequently included in our love making; we initially thought of including as many as possible. With David’s “hints”, we concluded that we did not want to illustrate a “How To Book”, we wanted to capture emotion and feelings.  We picked a couple lubes, a couple toys and decided we’ll start at foreplay and see where it goes.

It worked perfectly because we were more relaxed and in our own element and timing by us NOT having an agenda other than to enjoy.

That is not to say that in the future we won’t do a shoot with more toys, a couple specific positions or featuring bondage, but for that shoot those were not our intent. Anyone wishing to feature those things, fetish play or even a solo shoot of self-pleasuring, can certainly do it and I have no doubt that David can capture your intent; in a very erotic and sensual manner.

David also helped us put together an album (coffee table book) of 65 of our favorite pictures along with dedications to each other. Every time we look at the album, or share it with friends who understand our intent, the eroticism seems new and fresh. Obviously we have only shared it with others who are comfortable in nudity and who are comfortable in discussing our and their own erotic nature.  All who have viewed it have commented about how erotic, natural, loving and happy we are. We will also share it with others thinking of being photographed by David, or others serious about learning David’s art.

                                                          Lynn and Mark

SENSUAL AND SEXY

I long ago gave to you my heart which you touched so deeply, my heart you cause to swell with pride and my heart that you humbled by picking (and keeping) me. I remind you of our symbolic hearts that reflect, but do not fully capture, your passion, your openness, your Erotic Nature and your genuineness.

In this book of images recall the trust, the openness, the silliness, the daring, the seeking of new and unknown, the passion, the tenderness, the lust, the love and the pure enjoyment that has been our relationship and lives together. Recall in the images not just the nakedness of our bodies, but the openness to our souls we provided each other. Recall our adventures, our joys, our happiness, our soft murmurs, our shouts, our tenderness and our toughness, but most of all our freedom to be ourselves with each other. Recall how we also became each other without losing ourselves.

Forever and Always to my One and Only.

To My Husband, Lover and Friend,

You make me feel beautiful and these pictures capture that feeling and the essence of us.  You see beyond the bumps, lumps and wrinkles…and I am loved in ways words cannot express.  The making of this album was scary, fun, exciting, and erotic ~ and you gave me the freedom to do so at my pace.  As I’ve said before, we’re at a place of deep trust and knowledge of each other.  We can talk without many words, laugh at ourselves, and continue to grow and explore new things together ~ and this album is testament to the explorer in us.

And here, in this special place, the magic and tingly feelings still happen and the spaces in my life are filled, for you are, simply everything to me.

Thank you for the many smiles and happy memories these pictures will bring in the years to come and remind us of the feelings creating this album evoked.

Forever and Always,

A Simple Love Habit that Works

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LetBeautyGuideYourheartk_000015267661XSmall.jpg

Yesterday I spoke with a couple having intimacy issues.
They were eager to give me the list of wasn’t working.
‘The first thing’ I said ‘you must to drop the habit of beginning with
the past.’

You will never feel like being intimate
by constantly bringing up what has not worked.
Constant criticism defeats desire. I suggested they spend
the week sharing as many sweet memories as they could.

When I get hooked into the habit of bringing up disappointing things, I first have to notice that I am doing this. When we are asleep to how our unkind words put out the fire of our passion we keep going down this futile tunnel.

The only juice you get from trying to correct your lover by pointing out what went wrong the last time is being ‘right’. Even if you manage to score a point with even tiny insults,   you are going to feel alone. We certainly know that insulting our lover is a dead end, but sometimes that perverse habit of criticizing wins the moment, and we say unkind things. Our ego is seems to win the battle, but our hearts always suffer.

It may sound trite to say as many kind things as you can to your lover, but in the realm of intimacy, it’s particularly true. We can retrain our minds to consciously speak of times when things worked well. Make it a habit to recall excellence, beauty and tenderness. Deliberately share victories with your beloved throughout your day. It’s simple, and it works. You just have to do it often enough to put your brain in the proper state of mind to be more loving and kind to each other.

Make it a point to share several beautiful memories and see what happens in the bedroom. I hope you’re pleasantly surprised what flows naturally from your hearts.

Because Beauty is a Living State of Love.

In beauty

Amara

New York City Quodoushka

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New York SkylineNew York City Quodoushka 1
April 10-13
Residential Workshop for Singles and Couples
Early Registration Till February 15
Come Join this amazing group and let love  change your life
Amara Charles and John Thunderwolf

Tapping into Your Erotic Intelligence

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RedDresslips.jpg

I’m to say that the Art of Erotic Intelligence course is ready to go…

The idea is to inspire you to use your passion to empower every aspect of your life, a core secret of high-performing artists, inventors, business folk and lovers since the beginning of time: energy is energy, but we don’t always understand how to access it.

But if you can tap into and release it in ONE arena of your life, you have the doorway to opening it in EVERY arena of your life.

To be effective, it had to merge male and female energies, and
no matter how balanced I might be, I was always going
to lean heavily on the “female” side. Fortunately,  I didn’t have to go looking for someone to do this with.  For twenty years, it has been my honor to be
friends with STEVEN BARNES. He’s not only a NYT best-selling author who has written for television and Hollywood movies, he’s also a 4th Degree Blackbelt and Tai Chi and Yoga instructor. Even more than these accomplishments, what I most respect about Steve is his devotion to his son Jason – which I feel adds tremendous power to his masculine perspective.

We’ve had endless conversations and fascinating debates about
how to harness, express, and teach using our erotic intelligence.
We never agreed totally, (or sometimes at all! ) and it suddenly hit
both of us–that lack of total convergence wasn’t a weakness,
it was actually a strength!

We were both sick of teachers who pretend to be in alignment
on every little aspect of their teaching.

The truth is that human beings never agree totally.  Heck,
you don’t totally agree with what you thought YESTERDAY!

So we had a unique opportunity, because while we don’t agree
totally, we DO respect each other’s positions. Steve has mastered several disciplines, and has clamoring, devoted students around the world. He is married to the lovely Tananarive Due, a highly acclaimed award winning author in her own right.

I’ve learned something valuable creating this project with Steve, for or one thing, he knows how to be friends with a woman. We decided to try teaching a workshop together, and a little bit of magic happened…

Order Now!

 

In beauty,
Amara Charles

How To Increase Your Erotic Intelligence

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The Sessons with Helen Hunt and John Hawks

Go see this movie.

Why? Because it’s not only lovely to watch truth crawling through the covers reaching below the belt of collective consciousness, it shows where men and women are not different in the places that count.

While it’s hardly a blockbuster, the fact that ‘The Sessions’ made it to the screen is a testimony to the raw power of sex. And there’s no better way to see such a movie than with a group of women dedicated to compassionate sex and intimacy. So when our Yin Way woman’s class filled a row in the theater, we rooted for this true story of a quadriplegic, virginal 38-year-old writer (John Hawks) and his married sexual surrogate (Helen Hunt).

The story is not only boldly intimate, quirky and touching, Hollywood got the message right: More …

Three Clues to Overcome Rejection

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Three Clues for Overcoming Rejection

How do you get your lady out of the castle when she won’t say yes?

What if she shuns affection? Avoids sex and rejects you on a regular basis?

The most important key that opens the door to the castle is to be more loving no matter what. For love is the only language she understands.

Why is she rejecting me? More …

Great Reviews of Quodoushka in USA, Australia & New Zealand

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Whole Life Times Review

MT0412FeatureTantraSex

The First New Zealand Sexuality and Consciousness
Symposium: Blockhouse Bay Boat Club, March 31-April 1.
Opening Evening: The Temple in Mt Eden, March 29, 7pm
(Quodoushka night, April 2).
Bookings: videoyogalessons.com

There’s a lot of “sharing” here, and it can
mean a lot of things. Normally, sitting in a
circle and summing up how you feel in this
moment. I feel fine — just warming up. Over
organic coffee, the charismatic American
Quodoushaka expert tells me that I might
be an Antelope Woman — just from the way
I talk. “Soften up,” she says. I will.
By evening, I have listened enough. It’s
time to interact. Other conferences might
offer you a golf tournament as a social event
— well, here they have an “intimate night”. It
starts with a big circle. The women outside,
the men inside, move with the music, change
partners. Then gaze into someone’s eyes,
say something nice to a stranger, do a little
twist. A bit like speed dating, but without
trying to impress — just attracting through
radiance and openness. It’s great fun. None
of those micro-connections has to mean
anything. There’s no attachment, no pickup
plan. I notice the handsome man in the
silk kaftan for the first time and just enjoy
that his eyes linger.
The next bit is harder. More …

A Natural Language for Sex

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This  is a video poem from my recently released best selling book: ‘The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka’ This clip shows the difference between clinical western approach affects sex, and how the more nature based language of Quodoushka can uplift and inspire more magical sexual experiences.

Amara Charles is author of the Best Selling "The SExual Practices of Quodoushka'

“This Note is to Warn you of A diabolical plot”

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Love Letter from ?

This is perhaps the Best Love Letter I’ve ever read and you’ll never believe who wrote it.

My Darling Wife

This note is to warn you of a diabolical plot entered into by some of our so called friends – (ha!) calendar makers and even our own children. These and others would have you believe we’ve been married 20 years.

20 minutes maybe – but never 20 years. In the first place it is a known fact that a human cannot sustain the high level of happiness I feel for more than a few minutes – and my happiness keeps increasing.

I will confess to one puzzlement but I’m sure it is just some trick perpetrated by our friends – (Ha again!) I can’t remember ever being without you and I know I was born more than 20 mins ago.

Oh well – that isn’t important. The important thing is I don’t want to be without you for the next 20 years, or 40, or however many there are. I’ve gotten very used to being happy and I love you very much indeed.

Your Husband of 20 something or other.

Signed Ronald Reagan when he was governor of California in 1972. He wrote his note to Nancy on their 20th wedding anniversary.

What’s the Best Love Letter You’ve Ever Read?

The Nectar of Immortality

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What would just a sprinkle of immortal nectar bring to your relationships? And where do you buy this stuff? What does it taste like and what does it do?

The Nectar of Immortality has the flavor of sweet peaches; the scent of rose oil and it causes your heart to swell with the urge to give. When this vapor is in your mind, you let go of worry and it pops the balloons of stress, sorrow and anger stored in your cells. Past transgressions become irrelevant, whatever keeps you from acting kindly dissolves and it gives you power to face anything. More …

We Hit #1 Best Seller on Amazon!

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Yes! We did it! Our Worldwide request to buy on Amazon Worked! Thank you everyone who bought a copy, bought tons of copies on Amazon, and gifts for friends. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You! From now on, we can say that ‘The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka’ is a Best Seller!. Woo Hoo!

We are #1 Best Selling on Amazon in Shamanism! More …

Virtual Book Launch: Free Webinar

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Nourishing Arts of Sexual Pleasure

Join Us September 27, 9am, Phoenix Time for a Live Webinar celebrating the Release of my new book, ‘The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka’- with my guests, Thunder Strikes, Steven Barnes, Kamala Devi, Kristin Viken and Peter Thomas,

It will be worth your time! We will be posting this webinar as soon as it is edited.

www.gotoit.com

Help us Hit #1 on Amazon. Buy a copy on the Magic Day. September 27.

Making Love Through the Reptilian Brain

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Mexican Lancehead

My dear friend, a best-selling author and I were on Skype talking about his recent move away from Hollywood, where he had a booming publishing/movie career. Choosing his beloved family over career is just the kind of man he is, but he’s NOT happy living in Georgia. Because he is a fine specimen, and one of the most brilliant men I know, I know he’ll make it. Yet, for the first time in 10 years, I feel him frustrated and sad.

At the end of our chat I ask Shyena to come over to meet him, and, quite unlike her typical shyness, she saunters up to the screen and then dips towards my friend to reveal a stunning violet brassier. Nothing could have been more perfect. His first encounter with Shyena produces a pure ‘wow’ in his reptilian brain. And ours too.

The reptilian brain is a whole different breed of consciousness. We tap into it through More …