Tag Archives: sex and intimacy retreats
People who are well nourished and greatly inspired by their relationships live at the outer limits of intimacy. They not only dream of but deeply crave what is beyond easy grasp. They know deep fulfillment comes from extending and stretching the borders of what is already known. If you want the most from your relations you must realize it lives outside your comfort zones.
Deep love exists on the fringes of plain view. It thrives beyond what is already known and being done. A great relationship, and real intimacy requires a new approach. Anytime you don’t know what to do differently, your answer is to hunt for another approach. More …
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FAQ’s About Quodouhhka and Shakti Queen Retreats
Hi, I’m from Argentina. I’ve read about the retreats and I find it interesting. My sexual life began late, but since them I’m trying to get better at it. However I’m still not very comfortable with my body and sexuality. I think that would help… I’d like to know what kind of exercises you do and how is everything there… I would like to participate and grow there and I understand that some exercises may be difficult, I don’t know… The thing is I’m sometimes a bit shy, so is that right for me? Is there nudity there? Or sexual contact? Because I’d like to grow and learn to be more free, but it would make me embarrassed and nervous… So how is it? Is there nudity at all? And if so, how would I get to be comfortable with it?
There are so many workshops and retreats… I was thinking of the women’s retreat in Hawaii, but I’m not sure now… It’s better a Q1 workshop for me? Or what do you recommend me?
First I will share about Shakti Queen, which would be an excellent way to begin. Many women choose to do Shakti Queen first because you will have the opportunity to explore, doscover and experience personal insights about the power and the beauty of your sexuality in an amazing circle of women.
We begin with reflections of the divine goddess, where you will receive a Goddess image that you will dream into and seek to embody throughout the weekend.
This Goddess image is a special shamanic tool used by women to draw out and awaken certain qualities that are dormant, yet yearning to be expressed.
Later in the retreat, after you have had time to contemplate and share with sisters the meaning of this face of the Goddess, we have a very special
bringing out the highest reflection of the Goddess inside you. This will be an experience that will guide and inspire you to manifest your heart’s desire throughout the year.
Another focus of Shakti Queen is practicing the sweetness of devotion. Each day we will share chanting, meditation and special feminine spiritual practices that have been used by women for centuries to strengthen their spirits. We will also do very specific Taoist practices for sexual restoration, including Yin Way Breast Massage, ovarian massage and other qigong practices for developing harmony and vitality in our bodies, minds and spirits. What’s so special about these practices is that they have been taught to me mostly by women, and they are specifically designed to be learned and shared by women. They are easy, fun and delicious. They are sensual, but not sexual. The focus is on you opening your heart to you, and feeling this wonderful aliveness in your body.
All of Shakti Queen is based upon what I call the Great Softening. So many women reach a point where they’ve learned how to survive, they’ve gained skills to make it in the world.
In the process, we harden, and we lose touch with the amazing power of our own softness. That’s why I call it the Great Softening, where we learn to claim, celebrate, and most importantly learn how to use our soft power to bring happiness into our relationships, families and careers. The workshop is about learning ways to nourish yourself with so much self love it pours into every area of your life.
There’s much more…of course Maui will be extraordinary because we will be doing a lot of these practices in gorgeous natural settings, near oceans and wild lagoons…
The only nudity will be if you want to go swimming, or lie bask in the sun…(and the breast exercise if you choose.)
Now for the Quodoushka.
Of course the big difference is that there are men, and this changes everything !
There will be approximately 30 people, both singles and couples. You will be choosing
different partners throughout the program. Some exercises are solo, some
are partnered and some with the whole group.
The exercises range from talking exercises to clear sexual issues, breathing exercises to liberate sexual energy, healing touch exercises to release and remove sexual stress, and group exercises to transform pain or shame into confidence and pride with who you are. There are so many different ways we do this it’s hard to explain them all…
The main thing is this: each exercise will be demonstrated.
You will have the chance to observe, and then you will have time before each exercise to make an agreement about precisely how YOU feel comfortable doing the demonstrated exercise.
And we give you guidelines about how to make your agreements with a partner. After the exercise we all share about what we learned; what worked and what didn’t.
This is a big part of Quodoushka, maybe the biggest thing people ‘take home’ from the workshop, and why so may come back over and over again.
I believe the this is the place we get hurt and confused about sexual intimacy the most: we don’t know how to first consider and then say to our partner what we want. We tend to dive in and figure things out later. Sometimes it’s great, but lots of times it isn’t.
Quodoushka gives you guided, authentic, real-time practice making sexual agreements first with yourself and then with another. Creating good agreements before you act sexually could possibly save you years and years of learning by trial and lots of error.
In Quodoushka making agreements is easy, it’s fun, and most importantly, your agreements lead to the kind of pleasure you can fully own and cherish. I call it creating the conditions for your own safety. This workshop is about taking your power,
by learning to express what you want and what you don’t. Feeling good about that is probably the most important teaching with in all the amazing teachings of Quodoushka.
Yes, we recommend you you do many of these practices without clothes. Why? Aside from the fact that it’s much easier, you will have the chance, in a very safe and sacred environment to shed layers of shame about your body you didn’t even know you have.
Not everything is done without clothes, in fact we ask you to dress in very special ways for your Quodushka experience (but that’s something you get to find out about once you register:-) Trust me, it’s a lot of fun.
Now, this being said, there is absolutely nothing in Quodoushka workshop that you must do.
We believe there are already enough things you’ve learned that you should or shouldn’t to sexually, so our interest is in totally supporting you to find and express your own “Yes”,
and your own ‘No’. Sometimes, a ‘no’ can be just the thing you most need to learn, and sometimes a ‘yes’ is the very thing you’ve been afraid of but secretly hoped to find a way to say. Quodoushka gives you practice finding YOUR sexual yes.
Over the years, as you can imagine, I’ve been asked about nudity countless times. And honestly, by the time we get to an exercise, most people cannot wait to shed a few clothes and do the exercise… This is because we do everything gradually, and we make sure it’s a safe, sacred and respectful place to learn and grow. We strive to create this loving place of safety because we know how very fragile we are in this intimate arena - no matter how old or young we are.
The next big question is, ‘How far will this go?’
I can answer this one easily: there is no explicit sexuality in any of the exercises in Q1.
There is touching, but as to what’s included, as I said, this is entirely up to you. The exercises are not genitally focused. In the group we have a range of people who may have been married for twenty years, to people who are coming as
singles and experiencing this kind of workshop for the very first time.
So we create a place where everyone can make choices that work for them.
Another question I often don’t hear, (because maybe people are afraid to say) is the fear about being seen by others in a group, discussing or practicing these exercises.
Again, I say, not to worry. You will be tucked away in a little corner of privacy so focused the rest of the people will disappear. I hear this comment from people time and time again, so I know it’s true.
Many of the fears we have are projections of things we don’t know, but that’s also the excitement about coming to a Quodoushka!
It’s exciting to face’ the unknown’ in a safe, secure and loving place. That’s where all the growth is. Really, Quodoushka is not just about sex,it’s about discovering where your vulnerable edges are and learning to move into those edges with pleasure and care.
Thanks For Asking! I hope this answers your questions. If you have more, please ask!
Too Learn More Please Visit our Workshop Page to see our Upcoming Workshops
In Beauty, Amara Charles
Author I Workshops I Orbit Coaching
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Listen to my Self Care Revolution with Dr Robyn Benson of Santa Fe Soul
Is sex and intimacy an integral part of intimate health? Of course it is! So why is it so often excluded in mainstream health conferences and why is the topic reserved to backroom conversations (where what’s really going on) is discussed by everyone?
That’s why I celebrate Dr. Robyn Benson’s bold invitation to include the topic of sex and intimate health to Doctors and healers at the Health Clinic Santa Fe Soul in New Mexico.
Help spread the word about how the wise use of sexuality can benefit all sentient beings. Be a part of the Self Care Revolution and take care of your intimate health.
A talk with Dr. Robyn Benson after our ‘off the charts fabulous’ Shiva Shakti Workshop in Santa fe. We introduced Shamanic ceremony to heal wounds of the past to make space for more intimacy and pleasure in our relationships. And we shared sexual restoration practices to boost libido and increase sexual energy.
Everyone loved it! We’re invited back to present Quodoushka in Santa Fe next year for the first time… woo hoo.
I totally resonate with Robyn’s message about taking responsibility for our health by becoming more aware and wise.I believe intimate happiness can change the world. As our relationships heal, so does the world.
These are some of the common Questions people ask about Quodoushka Spiritual Sexuality Workshops.
Can I come to a Quodoushka Workshop without a partner?
Yes! You may attend Quodoushka I and II as a single or attend with a partner.
For Quodoushka Three, you must attend with a partner.
Is it better to come with a partner? More …
Here’s what folks are saying about Quodoushka:
Thank you so much for the safe space allowing me to blossom and to flower and feel the thrill in my opening and watching others open up too. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Your commitment, dedication and passion is pouring out of each of you. Your knowledge is powerful, but your love and care fills me.
As intimidating as it was for me to come with my partner, the fun we had, the things we learned about ourselves and each other are beyond expectation. Maybe we can be together another 30 years? –Skip
This was one of the most profound and life changing workshops I have ever attended. It is so refreshing to have plain talk and instruction on the subject of sex and sensual relations. This teaching and practice will change all my relationships from this point forward. I feel like I have been given a special tool kit to help me on my growing path. –James, Aerospace Engineer
Beautiful people! Why didn’t I know about this sooner!!! Thank you for being so compassionate!! I really felt like I could be myself around all of you! You made me smile, laugh, and cry! It was so emotional and worth it! Exciting! You are all AMAZING people and inspire me to truly, truly live life to the fullest and to stop worrying and to live in the moment and to just let it happen! –Kathy, Teaching Aide
Thank you for being authentic, empathetic, professional, loving, present, sensitive and non-shaming. So much love. Thank you. Deeelish food. Thank you. Care to know our names. Thank you. Respect for us a monogamous couple. Thank you. Loved the gratitude with gifts. Thank you. Wonderful attentiveness to food. Thank you. Unexpected diversity of ages, experiences, ideas, directions, sexuality. Perrrfecto!! –Mary, Yoga Studio Owner/Teacher
- See more at: http://www.amaracharles.com
Phoenix Quodoushka 1 Jan 31st- Feb 2nd / Phoenix Q2 Nov 7-10/ Maui Q1 October 24-28/ NYC Q1 April 10-13 - click Here for details
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Sessy shares her experience of Quodoushka
Listen to what an engineer says about how a sexuality workshop called Quodoushka changed his life.
What can chakras tell you about your sex life? Well, the truth is you’ll live just fine, and you can have great sex even if you’ve never heard of a chakra. However, when you find out that that low energy, lack of desire and low libido has a lot to do with sluggish chakras, the subject gets a lot more interesting.
It gets even more interesting More …
I think maybe we all want sex that makes us shiver and sweat all over, but we also want sex that makes us smile, and melt into each others bodies all night. Do we have to choose between hot sex or intimate sex? While some talking is needed to have either how sex or cozy sex, it’s good to know when to talk and when to stop.
Here’s one of my favorite ways to hit the sweet spot. More …
From Jude - “Good blog and yes I agree about the agreement between you, but it must be that both understand the agreement in the same way. One of the problems here though is that if one of the partners works on developing their sexuality but the other stays in the cozy zone sooner or later something is going to crack. I think its way better if they can explore this stuff together.”
I totally agree that it is more fun to have sexual adventures together! However, I hardly know anyone on the same page when it comes to sex- especially around frequency. Typically, one is curious might be searching for things to do, while the other prefers to stay comfy .
But maybe it’s not actually so. I think in some ways we all want to grow, we just don’t go about it the same. So first, the one who’s more adventurous should lead the way–go try stuff. Go to workshops, read books, talk to friends. Great relationships grow because there’s freedom to look around. Keep in mind that it takes time to figure out your sexual desires. It’s not like you wake up one day and say, I want sex 6 times a week, or I want to be in a threesome (well maybe some of you do.) Start by asking, ‘what on earth do I want?’
For me, what works is giving your partner the permission to take their time to explore the way they want to. If we give each other the space to be explorers, it’s much sweeter when we return.
I think it’s great if we can grow together, but if this kind of intimacy is not happening and you feel stuck, it means something from the past is bothering you. Here’s what you can do: talk about all the past stuff that irks you, write it all on paper and burn it. Past grief, hurt and pain must go, and it doesn’t go just away by itself- you have to make a conscious effort to let it all go. There’s just no way to be sexy if you’re distracted by nonsense from the past. How do I know it’s nonsense? Because it’s over.
One thing I know for sure; sneaking away is not the cure for sexual disappointment. More …
Whether frequently enjoyed or often avoided, sex is undeniably the most powerful energy of existence. According to the shamanic teachings of Quodoushka, originating from the Twisted Hairs tradition of Turtle Island (including ancient cultures from North, South and Central, Americas, as well as the lands now known as Australia and New Zealand), sexual energy is the original, boundless life-force that everything in existence is created through and from. More …