Tag Archives: sex and intimacy retreats

FAQ: Quodoushka Spiritual Sexuality Workshop – Amara Charles

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Q Fire

These are some of the common Questions people ask about Quodoushka Spiritual Sexuality Workshops.

Can I come to a Quodoushka Workshop without a partner?
Yes! You may attend Quodoushka I and II as a single or attend with a partner.
For Quodoushka Three, you must attend with a partner.

Is it better to come with a partner?

Many people ask this question because they think, ‘oh, I can’t explore anything about my sexuality until I have a partner.’

I would say, please do not wait to have a partner to attend a Quodoushka!

It’s a common relationship mistake to think that our sexual sense of ourselves comes from outside. The truth is, our life force energy is ours, and until we feel good, whole and healthy in our own skin, and until we learn to accept ourselves we really have trouble deserving pleasure from someone else. And there is so much to explore about ourselves sexually. You may experience intimate feelings you never really articulated or even thought possible…
If you attend as a single, (even if you have a partner), you will untangle so
many beliefs about sex, and get so clear about your own feelings that you will return to your everyday life with such an attractive glow about you that people will ask you , ‘what happened?’
(we hear this all the time.)

But most important, you will not only be blessed with a temporary glow, you will learn practical intimate communication skills that will enhance your relationships for a life time.

That’s why I say ‘Do not wait to attend a Quodoushka’ . If you attend as a single now You’ll be in a much better place within your self to find, attract, or rekindle a current relationship.

What if I want to come with my partner?

Of course you can come with your partner, and if you choose, you can do all the exercises together to share an exquisite and profound healing space for your relationship. The Quodoushka experience is simply an amazing, intimate way to celebrate your union. You will learn ways to talk about and make clear sexual agreements around things most of us, often mistakenly take for granted.

We’ve even had couples who chose to come to Quodoushka to celebrate their honeymoon, and to recharge a ‘broken’ relationship.

If you think you already know  what your partner likes and wants it’s more than likely not exactly so. All partners can benefit from learning more, especially about your self first. There’s so much that happens in both QI and QII that will give you practical insights about how to shift habits and patterns that keep you stuck in doing the same things over and over in your intimate life.

While we cannot guarantee Quodoushka will fix every issue in your relationship, we can say you will receive the tools to create enduring and more fulfilling sexual intimacy.

What if my partner does not want to go?

It’s often the case that one partner wants to go and one is not ready. I always say, if that’s the case, one of you should go, make clear agreements, and then share what you’ve learned with your beloved. (if you need help doing this, our staff is here to help you before and after the Q.)

Many times, when one partner goes, later, when they’ve seen the positive changes, the other partner wants to attend! Then you can have one go as a single, or you can both come to experience the Quodoushka together.

What if I am Gay, will I benefit? Are Gay people welcome?

Yes!

Quodoushka is open to all sexual preferences. We honor and teach that we all have a choice about what kind of relationship we could best learn and grow from. It’s one of the most accepting and loving spaces you will find to celebrate, share and express who you truly are.

If you have questions or concerns about how you would like to participate, our staff is ready to help you before, during, and after the Q.

What About Sexual Safety?

We take great care to create a sexually safe environment, and we fully advocate and practice safe sexual practices.

Is there nudity in Quodoushka?

This is the next big question. First of all, in all Quodoushka Workshops there is never anything that you must do. There’s so many things in our sexuality that we do because other people told us to, or because other people wanted something. Sometimes we were not sure what we wanted, and sometimes we didn’t know how to no and maybe regretted that. All these sorts of things happen in our intimate life.
That’s why there’s a great focus in the Q1 is getting to YOUR own ‘Yes. This is what I want’. And, about getting clear about YOUR own ‘No. This is not what I want.”
The Q1 experience is about learning to feel, clarify and express what we want in our intimate life. And it’s a chance to practice saying it.

This is a round about way of saying that there will never be anything in a Quodoushka workshop that you need to do if you don’t want to. You will always be at choice every step of the way. So with nudity,
you may practice everything clothed, or you may choose to do the exercises without clothing. That’s entirely up to you. I will say that the vast majority of people who come to Quodoushka experience a level of safety and respect with a group they’ve never felt in their lives. So, if you’re nervous about that, please don’t worry, a lot of other people are too. The most important thing is that Quodoushka is a safe place to practice making and expressing your own sexual agreements.

I think the hidden question is, and perhaps the question people want to ask but often shy away from, is about the other people. They wonder if there will be sexual advances, or if there will be sexually explicit things going on.

Firstly, our trained staff speaks directly to every person who attends Quodoushka to determine whether they are ready to attend and there are no sexually explicit exercises in QI or QII. We do have frank discussions about sexuality, orgasms and sexual anatomy, and there are exercises that involve touch. We encourage an atmosphere where it is okay to talk about, feel and express orgasmic energy, and each person is at choice
with how they make agreements and do each exercise.

About the Exercises:

First, every exercise is demonstrated, then you practice the exercise with a partner, and then we gather to discuss what we learned.

Some exercises are solo, some are with a partner, and some we do together as a group.

Finally, most people of course want to know:

What happens in a Quodoushka?

While we do not provide a schedule for Quodoushka, this is the general flow of the 3 1/2 day workshop. (unless it is an extended Q):

Please Note: These are just the bare bones of what happens in Quodoushka. (I have intentionally left out some of the most unique, fun and special things that happen during the weekend. Why? Because some people just love to be surprised.)

Also: each Quodoushka Teacher may position topics and exercises in their own unique way. Every Quodoushka Workshop includes these essential teachings, exercises and practices.

First Evening
We open with introductions and a history of where the Quodoushka teachings come from. We do a few spoken teachings on relationship choices, and we use these teachings to share and listen to everyone’s intent for being here. This is followed by a ceremony to help everyone set their own intention for the weekend.

We also create specific agreements for the group including the rules for safety and confidentiality. This ensures our rules of engagement during the weekend provides a safe container and a safe environment for each person to learn about and explore their sexuality.

First Day
We begin with morning teachings to open our senses and balance our energy.
This is followed with exercises that bring these teachings into the body, such as chakra balancing as well as other exercises which show us how to use our energy centers.

We serve a beautiful lunch each day.

This rest of the day is devoted to expanding our concept and awareness of what sexual energy is and what it isn’t. The afternoon is filled with more teachings about how we can feel, sense and use our energy centers in very specific ways to expand our awareness of self, life and others.

The evening is devoted to the demonstration and practice of a Shamanic Healing practice used to clear away blocks and pave the way for being able to feel more pleasure in the body.

We do late into the evening. (see your particular Q Schedule to see beginning, meal and ending times).

Second Day
This is an amazing day of discovering new things about your sexual self.

There are interactive teachings and healing exercises to help us ground, feel and express a more empowered sense of self. Teachings during the morning provide answers to questions about why we sometimes react so childishly, or with so much negative emotion when it comes to intimacy and sex. We start the day practical tools to help us see our selves with more awareness so we can wake up and take responsibility for what we want.

The afternoon is devoted to a very special Shamanic ceremony that is designed to help you lift deeply held layers of shame and guilt about our sexuality.

The evening‘s exercise and ceremony is designed to bring out different faces of your lover’s persona, and it’s designed to help you accept and feel worthy of more pleasure in your life.

Day Three
Part of the last day is devoted to learning amazing things about orgasms, levels of orgasms, and types of orgasms. There’s also ample space given to sharing and and expressing the things we’ve learned and gained.

One of the most significant things that happens in every Quodoushka is that you will have the chance to hear other people’s journey; what they’ve gained and what they’re giving away. In fact, sharing personal blocks, defeats and victories is one of the hidden treasures that happens in every Quodoushka, and it’s also where much of the healing happens, for we realize again and again, we are not alone.

Plus, sharing within the Q Matrix is profoundly uplifting, for you will not hear or experience these kinds of amazing intimate breakthroughs anywhere else in the world.

Our final closing ceremonies are designed to help us ground our gains and seal the love to take it home into all our relations.

In beauty, Amara

(c) Amara Charles 2014

If you have other questions, please email me at amara@amaracharles.com

www.amaracharles.com

Amara Charles is the author of the Sexual Practices of Quodoushka available here, or on Amazon and Barnes and Noble

JOIN THE Quodoushka FAMILY – IN MAUI, NYC OR PHOENIX!

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Aloha from Hawaii

Here’s what folks are saying about Quodoushka:

Thank you so much for the safe space allowing me to blossom and to flower and feel the thrill in my opening and watching others open up too. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Your commitment, dedication and passion is pouring out of each of you. Your knowledge is powerful, but your love and care fills me.

As intimidating as it was for me to come with my partner, the fun we had, the things we learned about ourselves and each other are beyond expectation. Maybe we can be together another 30 years? –Skip

Pink Rose Cartoon

This was one of the most profound and life changing workshops I have ever attended. It is so refreshing to have plain talk and instruction on the subject of sex and sensual relations. This teaching and practice will change all my relationships from this point forward. I feel like I have been given a special tool kit to help me on my growing path. –James, Aerospace Engineer

Beautiful people! Why didn’t I know about this sooner!!! Thank you for being so compassionate!! I really felt like I could be myself around all of you! You made me smile, laugh, and cry! It was so emotional and worth it! Exciting! You are all AMAZING people and inspire me to truly, truly live life to the fullest and to stop worrying and to live in the moment and to just let it happen! –Kathy, Teaching Aide

Flowers Hawaii

Thank you for being authentic, empathetic, professional, loving, present, sensitive and non-shaming. So much love. Thank you. Deeelish food. Thank you. Care to know our names. Thank you. Respect for us a monogamous couple. Thank you. Loved the gratitude with gifts. Thank you. Wonderful attentiveness to food. Thank you. Unexpected diversity of ages, experiences, ideas, directions, sexuality. Perrrfecto!! –Mary, Yoga Studio Owner/Teacher
- See more at: http://www.amaracharles.com

Phoenix Quodoushka 1 Jan 31st- Feb 2nd / Phoenix Q2 Nov 7-10/                                   Maui  Q1 October 24-28/ NYC Q1 April 10-13 - click Here for details

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Our Waterfall Mountain Q Retreat was Gorgeous!

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Sex and Intimacy Retreat for Singles and Couples

The Waterfall Mountain Quodoushka Retreat was totally Intimate thanks to our greatest teacher, the beautiful woods of in North Carolina…


Private Retreat Center, North Carolina • August 18-21, 2011

Gotta Watch: Quodoushka Testimonials

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Sessy shares her experience of Quodoushka

Listen to what an engineer says about how a sexuality workshop called Quodoushka changed his life.

How Chakras Enhance Sex and Intimacy

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How Chakras Improve Sex and Intimacy

What can chakras tell you about your sex life? Well, the truth is you’ll live just fine, and you can have great sex even if you’ve never heard of a chakra. However, when you find out that that low energy, lack of desire and low libido has a lot to do with sluggish chakras, the subject gets a lot more interesting.

It gets even more interesting More …

How to Talk Less and Have More Sex

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sex and intimacy

I think maybe we all want sex that makes us shiver and sweat all over, but we also want sex that makes us smile, and melt into each others bodies all night. Do we have to choose between hot sex or intimate sex? While some talking is needed to have either how sex or cozy sex, it’s good to know when to talk and when to stop.

Here’s one of my favorite ways to hit the sweet spot. More …

Sexual Taboos: Lying vs Honesty

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From Jude - “Good blog and yes I agree about the agreement between you, but it must be that both understand the agreement in the same way. One of the problems here though is that if one of the partners works on developing their sexuality but the other stays in the cozy zone sooner or later something is going to crack. I think its way better if they can explore this stuff together.”

Sexual Intimacy: Difficulty

I totally agree that it is more fun to have sexual adventures together! However, I hardly know anyone on the same page when it comes to sex- especially around frequency. Typically, one is curious might be searching for things to do, while the other prefers to stay comfy .

But maybe it’s not actually so. I think in some ways we all want to grow, we just don’t go about it the same. So first, the one who’s more adventurous should lead the way–go try stuff. Go to workshops, read books, talk to friends. Great relationships grow because there’s freedom to look around. Keep in mind that it takes time to figure out your sexual desires. It’s not like you wake up one day and say, I want sex 6 times a week, or I want to be in a threesome (well maybe some of you do.)  Start by asking, ‘what on earth do I want?’

For me, what works is giving your partner the permission to take their time to explore the way they want to. If we give each other the space to be explorers, it’s much sweeter when we return.

I think it’s great if we can grow together, but if this kind of intimacy is not happening and you feel stuck, it means something from the past is bothering you. Here’s what you can do: talk about all the past stuff that irks you, write it all on paper and burn it. Past grief, hurt and pain must go, and it doesn’t go just away by itself- you have to make a conscious effort to let it all go. There’s just no way to be sexy if you’re distracted by nonsense from the past. How do I know it’s nonsense? Because it’s over.

One thing I know for sure; sneaking away is not the cure for sexual disappointment. More …

THE HEALING POWER OF QUODOUSHKA

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Quodoushka (pronounced: Kwa-dosh-kah) with Amara Charles

Whether frequently enjoyed or often avoided, sex is undeniably the most powerful energy of existence. According to the shamanic teachings of Quodoushka, originating from the Twisted Hairs tradition of Turtle Island (including ancient cultures from North, South and Central, Americas, as well as the lands now known as Australia and New Zealand), sexual energy is the original, boundless life-force that everything in existence is created through and from. More …