How We Like To Be Loved

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couple kissing

What would happen if you allowed the men in your life to love every bit of you? Can you imagine having men who wish to provide whatever they can; able to take you into realms of pleasure that thrills you to the bone? Can you picture the kind of guy who’s turned on every time he makes just the right move at just the right time?

Here’s what I’ve noticed about certain men; when given the right kind of clues, they’re absolutely eager to delight us.

But why do men seldom succeed as much as they could? Why do they frequently fall short, leaving things unsaid and untouched? And why do they so often seem clueless, asking us what we want?

In my experience, training a man to catch our signals of desire is a matter of learning how to inspire him rather than asking for or demanding what we want. Yes, we can ask, and sometimes even demand that he steps up or slows down. But there are better ways to inspire men to love us the way we’d like to be loved.

First, keep in mind what inspires men most, especially during sex: More …

Are you living a Dharma Relationship?

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You know you are living in Dharma Relationship if you:

Can find something to smile about even in the most disastrous situations, forget about things that are simply none of your business and get on with things that are. You can get angry, sad, mad and even rage – but it blows over fast, and you keep finding that darkness inside and chopping it into little pieces. You make love as a solace, a source of sublime deliverance. You strive to know the other as best you can, yet take pleasure in never quite making it. You constantly know life is a rather brief adventure, and that it matters who you serve; your self or all humanity.

Crazy Habits of Dharma Love

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Perhaps you’ve noticed how having major secrets or lying in your intimate relationships keeps you hooked in a karmic-merry-go-round that isn’t very merry. It’s no fun getting caught in loops where nothing seems to change, old irritations insist on rearing up and you can’t help adding insult to injury. Such is the way of a Karmic Relationship.

The only way to shed the weight of karma and step on a path to creating a Dharma Relationship is start seeing transgressions for what they are. And here’s the kicker: whether you’ve made or have been the target of a transgression (as in being the cheater or being cheated on), it doesn’t matter. Either one keeps you dragging through karma going round and round.

Dharma Relationships are radically different, and the habits you start to ingrain are a lot more fun. It’s not that you suddenly escape conflict, get rid of all irritation or that you have the best sex ever right away.  You do however start to play by rules that bring you into a different world.

In karmic relationships you get to More …

Pearls and Pitfalls of Online Dating

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In case you missed part one: Virtues and Vices of Online Dating

I’ve been getting even more comments from my last newsletter; tales of awful dates and stories from those who, while they first thought nothing spiritual could come of this, now bless the day internet dating was born.

This was written by a man who said I could share his online ad. I love it. It worked for him.
I am a hot zesty 44 year old awesome bundle of love looking for a yummy juicy sexy woman that can’t wait to dive into my pants and discover the fullness of life. I am a man that has the capacity to be both strong and vulnerable, passionate and intimate as well as genuine and nurturing. I enjoy creating art, dancing tango, traveling the world, and reading poetry as much as I enjoy developing a successful business, curling up by a fire, and holding hands while watching a movie.

I give myself permission to cry, to not have the answers and to make mistakes. I am a man that celebrates both his mortal and divine masculine and I am in search of my twin soul-flame consort that embodies the beautiful mystery of the awakened divine feminine with an open heart, elegance and grace.

In the name of love I invite you to trust spirit, walk the razors edge and jump off cliffs into the unknown with me.

What do you think ladies? Guys?

If you’ve ever been curious about how to put your self out into cyberland in a good way, or you have some experience in the matter, we’d like to learn more. After reading these examples, I would love to know what you think makes a great ad or what turns you off? Would you respond to any of these, and if so, why? More …

Virtues and Vices of Online Dating

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This series is dedicated to erotically intelligent women and men who are increasing their magnetic presence to attract higher levels of engagement.

Have you ever considered writing an online ad?

It can be a fascinating way to increase your magnetic presence to seek, find and deepen your beloved relationships. I know quite a few switched on seekers who have found some rather amazing people online and I’ve seen what works and what doesn’t.  While online rules of engagement may change the way we meet, the laws of attraction remain. The question is, how can we refine our approach to seeking and finding a beloved, online or otherwise and turn it into a spiritual adventure? More …

Which One Should I do: Shakti Queen or Quodoushka?

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FAQ’s About Quodouhhka and Shakti Queen Retreats


Hi, I’m  from Argentina.  I’ve read about the retreats and I find it interesting. My sexual life began late, but since them I’m trying to get better at it. However I’m still not very comfortable with my body and sexuality. I think that would help…  I’d like to know what kind of exercises you do and how is everything there… I would like to participate and grow there and I understand that some exercises may be difficult, I don’t know… The thing is I’m sometimes a bit shy, so is that right for me? Is there nudity there? Or sexual contact? Because I’d like to grow and learn to be more free, but it would make me embarrassed and nervous… So how is it? Is there nudity at all? And if so, how would I get to be comfortable with it?

There are so many workshops and retreats… I was thinking of the women’s retreat in Hawaii, but I’m not sure now… It’s better a Q1 workshop for me? Or what do you recommend me?

IMG_1758From Amara
I believe you could greatly benefit from both workshops. I will explain each so you have a better way to choose. By the way, your English is excellent!

First I will share about Shakti Queen, which would be an excellent way to begin. Many women choose to do Shakti Queen first because you will have the opportunity to explore, doscover and experience personal insights about the power and the beauty of your sexuality in an amazing circle of women.

We begin with reflections of the divine goddess, where you will receive a Goddess image that you will dream into and seek to embody throughout the weekend.
This Goddess image is a special shamanic tool used by women to draw out and awaken certain qualities that are dormant, yet yearning to be expressed.
Later in the retreat, after you have had time to contemplate and share with sisters the meaning of this face of the Goddess, we have a very special
bringing out the highest reflection of the Goddess inside you. This will be an experience that will guide and inspire you to manifest your heart’s desire throughout the year.

Another focus of Shakti Queen is practicing the sweetness of devotion. Each day we will share chanting, meditation and special feminine spiritual practices that have been used by women for centuries to strengthen their spirits. We will also do very specific Taoist practices for sexual restoration, including Yin Way Breast Massage, ovarian massage and other qigong practices for developing harmony and vitality in our bodies, minds and spirits. What’s so special about these practices is that they have been taught to me mostly by women, and they are specifically designed to be learned and shared by women. They are easy, fun and delicious. They are sensual, but not sexual. The focus is on you opening your heart to you, and feeling this wonderful aliveness in your body.

All of Shakti Queen is based upon what I call the Great Softening. So many women reach a point where they’ve learned how to survive, they’ve gained skills to make it in the world.
In the process, we harden, and we lose touch with the amazing power of our own softness. That’s why I call it the Great Softening, where we learn to claim, celebrate, and most importantly learn how to use our soft power to bring happiness into our relationships, families and careers. The workshop is about learning ways to nourish yourself with so much self love it pours into every area of your life.

There’s much more…of course Maui will be extraordinary because we will be doing a lot of these practices in gorgeous natural settings, near oceans and wild lagoons…
The only nudity will be if you want to go swimming, or lie bask in the sun…(and the breast exercise if you choose.)

Q1Now for the Quodoushka.
Of course the big difference is that there are men, and this changes everything :-) !
There will be approximately 30 people, both singles and couples. You will be choosing
different partners throughout the program. Some exercises are solo, some
are partnered and some with the whole group.

The exercises range from talking exercises to clear sexual issues, breathing exercises to liberate sexual energy, healing touch exercises to release and remove sexual stress, and group exercises to transform pain or shame into confidence and pride with who you are. There are so many different ways we do this it’s hard to explain them all…

The main thing is this: each exercise will be demonstrated.

You will have the chance to observe, and then you will have time before each exercise to make an agreement about precisely how YOU feel comfortable doing the demonstrated exercise.
And we give you guidelines about how to make your agreements with a partner. After the exercise we all share about what we learned; what worked and what didn’t.
This is a big part of Quodoushka, maybe the biggest thing people ‘take home’ from the workshop, and why so may come back over and over again.

I believe the this is the place we get hurt and confused about sexual intimacy the most: we don’t know how to first consider and then say to our partner what we want. We tend to dive in and figure things out later. Sometimes it’s great, but lots of times it isn’t.

 Quodoushka gives you guided, authentic, real-time practice making sexual agreements first with yourself and then with another. Creating good agreements before you act sexually could possibly save you years and years of learning by trial and lots of error.
In Quodoushka making agreements is easy, it’s fun, and most importantly, your agreements lead to the kind of pleasure you can fully own and cherish. I call it creating the conditions for your own safety. This workshop is about taking your power,
by learning to express what you want and what you don’t. Feeling good about that is probably the most important teaching with in all the amazing teachings of Quodoushka.

About Nudity
Yes, we recommend you you do many of these practices without clothes. Why? Aside from the fact that it’s much easier, you will have the chance, in a very safe and sacred environment to shed layers of shame about your body you didn’t even know you have.
Not everything is done without clothes, in fact we ask you to dress in very special ways for your Quodushka experience (but that’s something you get to find out about once you register:-)  Trust me, it’s a lot of fun.

Now, this being said, there is absolutely nothing in Quodoushka workshop that you must do.

We believe there are already enough things you’ve learned that you should or shouldn’t to sexually, so our interest is in totally supporting you to find and express your own “Yes”,
and your own ‘No’. Sometimes, a ‘no’ can be just the thing you most need to learn, and sometimes a ‘yes’ is the very thing you’ve been afraid of but secretly hoped to find a way to say. Quodoushka gives you practice finding YOUR sexual yes.

Over the years, as you can imagine, I’ve been asked about nudity countless times. And honestly, by the time we get to an exercise, most people cannot wait to shed a few clothes and do the exercise… This is because we do everything gradually, and we make sure  it’s a safe, sacred and respectful place to learn and grow. We strive to create this loving place of safety because we know how very fragile we are in this intimate arena -  no matter how old or young we are.

The next big question is, ‘How far will this go?’

I can answer this one easily: there is no explicit sexuality in any of the exercises in Q1.
There is touching, but as to what’s included, as I said, this is entirely up to you. The exercises are not genitally focused. In the group we have a range of people who may have been married for twenty years, to people who are coming as
singles and experiencing this kind of workshop for the very first time.
So we create a place where everyone can make choices that work for them.

Another question I often don’t hear, (because maybe people are afraid to say) is the fear about being seen by others in a group, discussing or practicing these exercises.

Again, I say, not to worry. You will be tucked away in a little corner of privacy so focused the rest of the people will disappear. I hear this comment from people time and time again, so I know it’s true.

Many of the fears we have are projections of things we don’t know, but that’s also the excitement about coming to a Quodoushka!
It’s exciting to face’ the unknown’ in a safe, secure and loving place. That’s where all the growth is. Really, Quodoushka is not just about sex,it’s about discovering where your vulnerable edges are and learning to move into those edges with pleasure and care.

Sexy HormonesDoes both Shakti and Quodoushka sound exciting?
Good! Then come to both.
They’re quite different, but I think you’d love both workshops.


Thanks For Asking! I hope this answers your questions. If you have more, please ask!

Too Learn More Please Visit our Workshop Page to see our Upcoming Workshops

In Beauty, Amara Charles

Author I Workshops I Orbit Coaching
602 820 4661

Have you joined my Nourishing Arts FB Page?


Great Interview with Bella Lavey #Amara Charles

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Amara Portrait Maui

‘The hardest part of making an agreement is to get to the bottom of your true feelings…

Interview by Bella Lavey

How would you describe your spiritual path?  And can you share with us a little of your history; what brought you to this path? Have you always been passionate about sexuality?

When I was in my 20’s I had a sexual meltdown. More …

DAY SIXTEEN ORGASM – Discover Your Erotic Nature

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30 Day Inspiration ~ Discover Your Erotic Nature

Ten Days of Spice | With Amara Charles and The Shakti Team

The body naturally knows which orgasm to naturally move into as a way of balancing the body, mind, spirit and heart. Knowing the body and having an educated pussy ( tupuli) and cock ( tipilli) is of high importance to bring more pleasure and fun into our sacred spiritual sexual practice. As we listen to our body, we become master conduits for creating more peace on the planet. When we allow the body to move in a way that comes from a deeper knowing of what we actually desire and yearn for it appears as though the body is much wiser then our own ‘planning’ can ever really be. When we have a orgasm or two or twenty we actually bring balance to different aspects of our being depending on also what kind of orgasm we experience.

There are many different types of orgasm. Check my book on page 183 in The Sexual practices of Quodoushka chapter 10 –  The nine types of orgasmic expression.

“When we use orgasm well, our orgasm can sustain our health and well being. Yet, it is also true we can loose energy by having low-level orgasms.” page 201

I felt like the bed was rising and falling. We were so connected I could feel him inside as if he were actually touching my heart with his penis. We would stay like this for a while, rest a few minutes and start all over again. I don’t know how long we made love, and I lost count on how many orgasms I had. My belly was still shaking hours later. Leela Age Thirty-one. 

This orgasm is a west earthquake orgasm, it originates inside as a rolling feeling inside the womb. Like the rumbling of an earthquake starting with milder sensations, it builds gradually in strength until it implodes inside with great force. These deeply satisfying orgasms induce swells of gratitude and profound intimacy. Page 196 in The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka.


To discover more about your erotic nature and learn about all the different male and female orgasm types. You can read more about this in my book The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka and find it in my online shop


Wishing you all more high level orgasms and natural ways of restoring, relaxing and replenishing the body…



The Perfect Pussy? A Man’s Response to a Girl Thinking About Labiaplasticy: Perfect.

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My two cents as a man: it’s easy for us to get together in groups and make fun of women who aren’t entirely perfect, or who at least don’t fit the vision of “perfection” we get from models and porn. It’s not our greatest asset. In fact it’s things like that that make me feel like I belong to the weaker sex. We’re so bent on bringing other people down because we’re all really fragile and have these delicate egos and we make ourselves feel strong by banding together to make fun of people.

Vaginal attractiveness is a tough subject because no one’s really talking about it objectively, or at least not with me around. Porn is teaching you that there are pretty and ugly vaginas, and even though I have very little experience being a teenage girl, my understanding (garnered largely from tv and movies, I’ll admit) is that girls default to thinking their vagina is ugly. Like as a curious teenager when you finally give it a good long look, it’s probably not what you were expecting. Forgive me if that’s an ignorant sentiment, but like I said, the conversation isn’t really at the forefront of gender equality so I have very little to go on. More …

DAY FOURTEEN – 30 Day Inspiration ~ Discover Your Erotic Nature

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30 Day Inspiration ~ Discover Your Erotic Nature

Ten Days of Spice | With Amara Charles and The Shakti Team


Feeding our own personal sexual hungers can be a huge gateway to deeper joy, relaxation, and pleasure. – For real.


Not the kind of sexual hunger that is kind of what you desire but the the kind that fully replenishes your soul and meets your deepest longing. More …

The Thirty Day Erotic Challenge

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The Thirty Day Erotic Challenge – Online Guide to Enhance Your Erotic Pleasure and Prosperity

I am thrilled to announce the Thirty Day Erotic Challenge is now available for your at home pleasure.

  • This 64 page Illustrated Digital E Manual includes daily instructions, inspirations and stories to supply you with thirty days of fascinating ways to enhance your erotic health and happiness.
  • * Plus you get the bonus S.M.A.R.T. Goals PDF to boost your ability to harness your sexual energy to manifest your dreams.
  • The Original Erotic Intelligence Online Program sells for $49.95 – But I’m giving a special introductory price for the next 30 days…
  • MY CHALLENGE TO YOU: Send me your start and finish date, along with comments of your experience of your Thirty Day Erotic Challenge and I’ll send you a 2oz Bottle of Sylk Natural Personal Lubricant.

What is The Thirty Day Erotic Challenge?
It’s a treasure trove of daily erotic teachings and suggestions to lift your your erotic health and happiness to a whole new level. It’s designed to inspire you for thirty days whether you have a partner or you’re looking for one.
It starts out gently, giving you guidelines on what to pay attention to during each day. It then builds gradually to include more fun and fascinating ways to bring delight and passion into your life. More …

Five Things Women Do in the Presence of an Alpha Male

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The Alpha Male

As fascinating as the topic of the Instinctive Design of Erotic Attention* was really, it’s the bronco ride of co-creating with an alpha male that lifts my skirt these days.

My recent collaboration inspires me to reflect on the five things women tend to do when we’re with an alpha male. But first, I suppose, we should ask, What are the signs you’ve got an alpha male on your hands?

He’s Unpredictable. Check. Powerfully assertive yet yielding at the right moments. Check. He’s an unabashed, indomitable and at times he’s an unstoppable leader. Yet, as strong as he appears, a superior alpha male bows gracefully to feminine intelligence whenever she shows a face wiser than his own. Double  Check.

The five things we tend to do are run, put him above us, contend, control or cultivate and then ride on the curves of his magic. Any of these options may be correct depending on the man and the time. The approaches you choose will either take you into tangled webs of disappointment or they will intensify the quality of happiness in your intimate relations with men.


Although the option of running may seem weak, if you sense an alpha male is using his seductive charms to get something you do not wish to give, running away could be an act of power.  But how many of us, intrigued by an alpha male’s charm, stay longer than we know is right?

To reflect on the reasons why, consider this: cajoling you into giving something that you actually desire, but are afraid to give can be quite alluring. An alpha male must become good at hunting for the hidden needs of a woman; predators take advantage of them.

More …

Hilarious, Sexy Interview with Crickette & Amara Charles

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What a hoot!   I was as just on Chatterbox radio for a hilarious interview. I’m on about 20 minutes into the show….  Have a listen. Crickette is a riot.

Crickette Radio Show


Forbidden Fruit

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There’s something about forbidden fruit. Somehow, it just tastes better than regular fruit.

You know, there’s only one way to get rid of the temptation to eat a banana…

Speaking of which, I am super excited about Steven Barnes coming to town to do some things we’ve never done. I just love playing with brilliant men and we’ve been digging deep into our lives to pull out some luscious treats I can’t wait to share.

Our new I.D.E.A. workshop is about the hunt, lure and flow of seduction. It’s about how we can increase our erotic prowess.

I’d like to tell you more, but I promised I’d wait…

We’re using the January 17 Phoenix Tantra Meet Up to launch it and then test it out the next day with our lucky pleasure victims….Since this is a premier presentation that may never happen again ( I know many of you can’t come to Phoenix) we’re planning to record some of it if we can.

The truth is, I’ve been having such a blast playing with ways to share this erotic material like never before. I do love a good challenge, and Steven certainly is.  So let me know if you’d like to be kept in the loop of what’s next, and I’ll be sure to keep you posted.


Saturday, January 18


p.s. and the first Q’ of 2014 is coming soon too. What a way to start the year. Then come to The New York Q. 

Why not have it all?

Hope you’re having some luscious, fruitful & forbidden erotic ideas… in your heart, your spirit and of yes course, your body too…

In beauty,

Announcing a New Workshop with Amara Charles and Steven Barnes

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Premier 1 Day Workshop with Amara Charles & Steven Barnes for Singles and Couples March 8. Phoenix
New Date: March 7 th & *th, Phoenix

The IDEA of increasing your prowess (sexiness in motion) is a matter of learning to become an instinctively healthy, sexy human animal. When your body, mind and heart are all singing the same song, intuitive action becomes the rule of your life.

Singles and Couples Register Here

Cost: $99

NEW DATE: MARCH 8. NE Phoenix (Address Provided upon Registration)



Steven Barnes:

the “Secret Formula”
is a luck magnet.   I’m telling you,
when you have clear goals, believe
you can and should do it, are taking
constant action (and of course
noticing your results and making
micro-adjustments, while committing
to constant improvement) and
living every day with an “attitude
of gratitude” you attract allies like
crazy.  And most strangely, “luck”
multiplies.  Opportunities come to
you with the predictability of American
Express and Visa offers arriving in
the mail if you raise your credit score.
When you don’t need money, people
offer you credit.  When you don’t
have a job, you can’t get a job, but
as soon as you have one other
people offer employment.  When
you don’t have a relationship you
can’t get one, but as soon as you
have one people mysteriously start
showing interest.

1 Day Workshop with Amara Charles & Steven Barnes

But really,  this will not be a mere discussion of concepts to stir your passion… each IDEA is a body experience designed to help you experience the instinctive design of your erotic intelligence.The idea of course is to increase your body intelligence so you can draw on your intuition any time you need it. More …