Gotta Watch: Quodoushka Testimonials
- A Soft Burn of Yearning Love May 20, 2016
- I Got Published in Natural Awakenings Mag Santa Fe May 16, 2016
- Aroma Oils for Sensual Living May 3, 2016
- Are you living a Dharma Relationship? April 23, 2016
- Crazy Habits of Dharma Love April 19, 2016
Why I can’t stop offering sacred sexuality
I like inviting the soft burn of yearning love to come out from hiding. Even the most bruised and tender spirits, the ones who’ve just about given up, the ones who feel tired of losing, or who don’t even know they’re caged in pain; these are the ones I love lifting. Actually, it’s we who do the lifting. It happens every time.
I like when we become healers because it’s safe to shine. I like when we get to the place where sex is no longer about me and what I want, or what I can get. I like when our sexuality stays fragile, and private and clear. I love when there is no difference between my pleasure and your pleasure. I love the moments when giving is so thrilling, so sweet and so divine, nobody is left out.
Regular sex, the kind you have behind closed doors, is still my favorite kind of sex. Ah, but there’s something very different when we get together to explore our sacred sexuality. And it isn’t what you may think.
WE become a conduit for what is just so. We call to our relations, we ask all creation to help us shed the nonsense – that we are less than, that we are flawed, that we somehow do not deserve pleasure. As we drop those false, slow thoughts, and we speed up to the reality that life is utterly exquisite, we understand the truth: that we are truly blessed to even have a body. We can finally feel what we are designed to feel.
Temporary though it is, it’s a beautiful thing to cherish and celebrate pleasure in the body. But wow, have I seen all shapes and sizes and the hidden ways we feel guilty, ashamed or afraid of feeling pleasure. It’s amazing to see how many of us have a deep distrust of our own pleasure.
I like when each of us gets so filled up with compassion we say, ‘Hey, I’ve been there, I have suffered that way too.’ I like when our hearts get so big they can’t get stuck anywhere.
It’s when we can’t allow it, when we cut off feelings of pleasure that we keep getting stuck in the pain of not having it. We have all learned ways to hold back, go numb, close down or say it’s not that important. We devise clever defenses to protect us from getting hurt. The trouble is, our protection also blocks us from feeling pleasure. Put bluntly, the small trickles of pleasure you do let in pisses off your spirit. We know there’s more.
How do we dissolve deeply rooted blocks to pleasure? Start letting joy in. Allow your self to feel the pleasure of being touched. The trick to dissolving barriers to pleasure is by having some. Start by giving and receiving more affection than you are used to, especially sexual pleasure. Gradually, there’s a soft melting away of the notion that not feeling is safer than feeling.
I am not saying to just go and have lots of casual sex. This can be a disaster. I’m actually saying, crave less from your lovers. Quit sending hooks trying to make sure your pleasure doesn’t walk away. You needn’t lasso that one person who actually thinks you are ok enough to share intimacy with.
The secret is to keep loving and letting go no matter what. Keep being affectionate and keep letting go. Gradually, you notice that lo and behold, you do deserve to feel pleasure, and that it is good. Very good.
I think this is why I’ve been blessed to do what I love doing; creating safe spaces for people to love. My teacher in China said to me, ‘I live in a monastery. You? You must go home and do your job.’
Gladly Sifu Gandan.
You dance in my heart.
In beauty, Amara Charles
Dedicated to Guru Simeran who came to Quodoushka at 80 something. He recently passed away. Fair journey dear friend!
You know you are living in Dharma Relationship if you:
Can find something to smile about even in the most disastrous situations, forget about things that are simply none of your business and get on with things that are. You can get angry, sad, mad and even rage – but it blows over fast, and you keep finding that darkness inside and chopping it into little pieces. You make love as a solace, a source of sublime deliverance. You strive to know the other as best you can, yet take pleasure in never quite making it. You constantly know life is a rather brief adventure, and that it matters who you serve; your self or all humanity.
Perhaps you’ve noticed how having major secrets or lying in your intimate relationships keeps you hooked in a karmic-merry-go-round that isn’t very merry. It’s no fun getting caught in loops where nothing seems to change, old irritations insist on rearing up and you can’t help adding insult to injury. Such is the way of a Karmic Relationship.
The only way to shed the weight of karma and step on a path to creating a Dharma Relationship is start seeing transgressions for what they are. And here’s the kicker: whether you’ve made or have been the target of a transgression (as in being the cheater or being cheated on), it doesn’t matter. Either one keeps you dragging through karma going round and round.
Dharma Relationships are radically different, and the habits you start to ingrain are a lot more fun. It’s not that you suddenly escape conflict, get rid of all irritation or that you have the best sex ever right away. You do however start to play by rules that bring you into a different world.
In karmic relationships you get to More …
I’ve been getting even more comments from my last newsletter; tales of awful dates and stories from those who, while they first thought nothing spiritual could come of this, now bless the day internet dating was born.
This was written by a man who said I could share his online ad. I love it. It worked for him.
I am a hot zesty 44 year old awesome bundle of love looking for a yummy juicy sexy woman that can’t wait to dive into my pants and discover the fullness of life. I am a man that has the capacity to be both strong and vulnerable, passionate and intimate as well as genuine and nurturing. I enjoy creating art, dancing tango, traveling the world, and reading poetry as much as I enjoy developing a successful business, curling up by a fire, and holding hands while watching a movie.
I give myself permission to cry, to not have the answers and to make mistakes. I am a man that celebrates both his mortal and divine masculine and I am in search of my twin soul-flame consort that embodies the beautiful mystery of the awakened divine feminine with an open heart, elegance and grace.
In the name of love I invite you to trust spirit, walk the razors edge and jump off cliffs into the unknown with me.
What do you think ladies? Guys?
If you’ve ever been curious about how to put your self out into cyberland in a good way, or you have some experience in the matter, we’d like to learn more. After reading these examples, I would love to know what you think makes a great ad or what turns you off? Would you respond to any of these, and if so, why? More …
I know what you might think. Yes, while it’s true being as hard as rock can lead to hours of hot, driven, pounding love, there is a softer world filled with off-the-chart sensations – for both men and woman. The truth is, soft is where the sensation is. When you’re soft, relaxed and open you can feel more. And the softer the power, the bigger the bliss.
Of course, there are physiological (and highly pleasurable) reasons for staying hard. Most, but by no means all! ejaculations happen at the apex of a sturdy rod. While this often feels very very good, until you develop the ability to relax and open during epic surges of energy, both you and your partner will lose a great deal of what could be harnessed to feel more healthy, happy and alive. More …
This series is dedicated to erotically intelligent women and men who are increasing their magnetic presence to attract higher levels of engagement.
Have you ever considered writing an online ad?
It can be a fascinating way to increase your magnetic presence to seek, find and deepen your beloved relationships. I know quite a few switched on seekers who have found some rather amazing people online and I’ve seen what works and what doesn’t. While online rules of engagement may change the way we meet, the laws of attraction remain. The question is, how can we refine our approach to seeking and finding a beloved, online or otherwise and turn it into a spiritual adventure? More …
Of course it does.
If you consider what we go through, all the emotional obstacles, not to mention time constraints, kids and all those other reasonable sounding excuses – like I don’t have the right partner – it’s remarkable that we ever let ourselves surrender into the deeply nourishing bliss of ecstasy. We all know there’s magic here.
Here’s what sexual magic is not.
It’s not having sex to get something. It’s not using sexual energy to magically produce more money, more sex or a big new house. More …
FAQ’s About Quodouhhka and Shakti Queen Retreats
Hi, I’m from Argentina. I’ve read about the retreats and I find it interesting. My sexual life began late, but since them I’m trying to get better at it. However I’m still not very comfortable with my body and sexuality. I think that would help… I’d like to know what kind of exercises you do and how is everything there… I would like to participate and grow there and I understand that some exercises may be difficult, I don’t know… The thing is I’m sometimes a bit shy, so is that right for me? Is there nudity there? Or sexual contact? Because I’d like to grow and learn to be more free, but it would make me embarrassed and nervous… So how is it? Is there nudity at all? And if so, how would I get to be comfortable with it?
There are so many workshops and retreats… I was thinking of the women’s retreat in Hawaii, but I’m not sure now… It’s better a Q1 workshop for me? Or what do you recommend me?
First I will share about Shakti Queen, which would be an excellent way to begin. Many women choose to do Shakti Queen first because you will have the opportunity to explore, doscover and experience personal insights about the power and the beauty of your sexuality in an amazing circle of women.
We begin with reflections of the divine goddess, where you will receive a Goddess image that you will dream into and seek to embody throughout the weekend.
This Goddess image is a special shamanic tool used by women to draw out and awaken certain qualities that are dormant, yet yearning to be expressed.
Later in the retreat, after you have had time to contemplate and share with sisters the meaning of this face of the Goddess, we have a very special
bringing out the highest reflection of the Goddess inside you. This will be an experience that will guide and inspire you to manifest your heart’s desire throughout the year.
Another focus of Shakti Queen is practicing the sweetness of devotion. Each day we will share chanting, meditation and special feminine spiritual practices that have been used by women for centuries to strengthen their spirits. We will also do very specific Taoist practices for sexual restoration, including Yin Way Breast Massage, ovarian massage and other qigong practices for developing harmony and vitality in our bodies, minds and spirits. What’s so special about these practices is that they have been taught to me mostly by women, and they are specifically designed to be learned and shared by women. They are easy, fun and delicious. They are sensual, but not sexual. The focus is on you opening your heart to you, and feeling this wonderful aliveness in your body.
All of Shakti Queen is based upon what I call the Great Softening. So many women reach a point where they’ve learned how to survive, they’ve gained skills to make it in the world.
In the process, we harden, and we lose touch with the amazing power of our own softness. That’s why I call it the Great Softening, where we learn to claim, celebrate, and most importantly learn how to use our soft power to bring happiness into our relationships, families and careers. The workshop is about learning ways to nourish yourself with so much self love it pours into every area of your life.
There’s much more…of course Maui will be extraordinary because we will be doing a lot of these practices in gorgeous natural settings, near oceans and wild lagoons…
The only nudity will be if you want to go swimming, or lie bask in the sun…(and the breast exercise if you choose.)
Now for the Quodoushka.
Of course the big difference is that there are men, and this changes everything !
There will be approximately 30 people, both singles and couples. You will be choosing
different partners throughout the program. Some exercises are solo, some
are partnered and some with the whole group.
The exercises range from talking exercises to clear sexual issues, breathing exercises to liberate sexual energy, healing touch exercises to release and remove sexual stress, and group exercises to transform pain or shame into confidence and pride with who you are. There are so many different ways we do this it’s hard to explain them all…
The main thing is this: each exercise will be demonstrated.
You will have the chance to observe, and then you will have time before each exercise to make an agreement about precisely how YOU feel comfortable doing the demonstrated exercise.
And we give you guidelines about how to make your agreements with a partner. After the exercise we all share about what we learned; what worked and what didn’t.
This is a big part of Quodoushka, maybe the biggest thing people ‘take home’ from the workshop, and why so may come back over and over again.
I believe the this is the place we get hurt and confused about sexual intimacy the most: we don’t know how to first consider and then say to our partner what we want. We tend to dive in and figure things out later. Sometimes it’s great, but lots of times it isn’t.
Quodoushka gives you guided, authentic, real-time practice making sexual agreements first with yourself and then with another. Creating good agreements before you act sexually could possibly save you years and years of learning by trial and lots of error.
In Quodoushka making agreements is easy, it’s fun, and most importantly, your agreements lead to the kind of pleasure you can fully own and cherish. I call it creating the conditions for your own safety. This workshop is about taking your power,
by learning to express what you want and what you don’t. Feeling good about that is probably the most important teaching with in all the amazing teachings of Quodoushka.
Yes, we recommend you you do many of these practices without clothes. Why? Aside from the fact that it’s much easier, you will have the chance, in a very safe and sacred environment to shed layers of shame about your body you didn’t even know you have.
Not everything is done without clothes, in fact we ask you to dress in very special ways for your Quodushka experience (but that’s something you get to find out about once you register:-) Trust me, it’s a lot of fun.
Now, this being said, there is absolutely nothing in Quodoushka workshop that you must do.
We believe there are already enough things you’ve learned that you should or shouldn’t to sexually, so our interest is in totally supporting you to find and express your own “Yes”,
and your own ‘No’. Sometimes, a ‘no’ can be just the thing you most need to learn, and sometimes a ‘yes’ is the very thing you’ve been afraid of but secretly hoped to find a way to say. Quodoushka gives you practice finding YOUR sexual yes.
Over the years, as you can imagine, I’ve been asked about nudity countless times. And honestly, by the time we get to an exercise, most people cannot wait to shed a few clothes and do the exercise… This is because we do everything gradually, and we make sure it’s a safe, sacred and respectful place to learn and grow. We strive to create this loving place of safety because we know how very fragile we are in this intimate arena - no matter how old or young we are.
The next big question is, ‘How far will this go?’
I can answer this one easily: there is no explicit sexuality in any of the exercises in Q1.
There is touching, but as to what’s included, as I said, this is entirely up to you. The exercises are not genitally focused. In the group we have a range of people who may have been married for twenty years, to people who are coming as
singles and experiencing this kind of workshop for the very first time.
So we create a place where everyone can make choices that work for them.
Another question I often don’t hear, (because maybe people are afraid to say) is the fear about being seen by others in a group, discussing or practicing these exercises.
Again, I say, not to worry. You will be tucked away in a little corner of privacy so focused the rest of the people will disappear. I hear this comment from people time and time again, so I know it’s true.
Many of the fears we have are projections of things we don’t know, but that’s also the excitement about coming to a Quodoushka!
It’s exciting to face’ the unknown’ in a safe, secure and loving place. That’s where all the growth is. Really, Quodoushka is not just about sex,it’s about discovering where your vulnerable edges are and learning to move into those edges with pleasure and care.
Thanks For Asking! I hope this answers your questions. If you have more, please ask!
Too Learn More Please Visit our Workshop Page to see our Upcoming Workshops
In Beauty, Amara Charles
Author I Workshops I Orbit Coaching
602 820 4661
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Your book, The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka: Teachings from the Nagual Tradition, is a best seller—congratulations. In my perfect world this book would be a high school textbook in mandatory sex ed. You describe nine different genital morphologies for both men and women. With porn setting the standard of large, circumcised cocks and small, neat, evenly shaped vulvas, to which we compare our own genitals, this book can help heal a lot of shame. Can you share with us some of your experiences of how you work with people around this topic?
Oh, boy, don’t get me started… just kidding. Thank You.
I think my book is so popular because women love finding out if they’re an Antelope Woman, or a Wolf Woman and men want to know if they’re a Horse Man or A Pony Man. It’s only a small part of the book, but it has a strong impact because, for one thing, people like looking at the pictures to find out what type of genital anatomy they have.
By the way, I did not make this up! These types were actually discovered and recorded from the Twisted Hairs Elders of the Sweet Medicine Sundance Path, and were handed down from teacher to student for thousands of years. My book is the first to publish these teachings in a book for the public.
It turns out our anatomy tells us a lot about the way we like to receive pleasure, and it gives amazing insights into the specific kinds of genital pleasure our partner will most enjoy. More …
‘The hardest part of making an agreement is to get to the bottom of your true feelings…
Interview by Bella Lavey
How would you describe your spiritual path? And can you share with us a little of your history; what brought you to this path? Have you always been passionate about sexuality?
When I was in my 20’s I had a sexual meltdown. More …
I Loved talking with Max Van Prague about my favorite private matters: passion, sex and intimacy… It’s all about having a ‘Beginner’s Mind’. Great Interview. Thanks Max!
DAY 18 of Discovering Your Erotic nature
with Amara Charles and The Shakti Team
Porsche Lynne is a legend in the world of Adult entertainment and known as the girl with the Million Dollar Legs. This woman does not only ooze confidence, Warrior Shakti, kindness, integrity, empowerment, respect, honoring, etc etc she also has the heart of compassion and is one of the greatest women I have ever met. What an inspiration this women is, and let me share with you how she has come to be this…
She started her career as a burlesque performer, gracing the pages of the most men’s magazines like High Society, Chic and Cheri. She then went to on star in over 250 XXX-rated films between the years 1985-2002. During that time she became part of the Adult Hall Of Fame, Legends of Erotica, Free Speech Coalition, X-rated Critics, and the Hustler Hall of Fame. She is an activist for free speech, especially in the area of Adult Entertainment and Sexual Education. She was an Integral part in the making of Free Speech Coalition poster, which recreated the raising of the flag at Iwo Jima. In her time after the camera, she went on to become one of the premiere Domina’s, as well as owning and operating her own dungeon located in Phoenix, AZ where she continues to be an advocate for free speech, sexual exploration ( especially in the area of power exchange), and sexual education.
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DAY SEVENTEEN The Pussy Knows
30 Day Inspiration ~ Discover Your Erotic Nature
Ten Days of Spice of 30 | With Amara Charles and The Shakti Team
Nature is never in a hurry. So why would the pussy move forward with anything that is not in her highest excitement. I spoke to a dear sister today and she was sharing that she had taken on a new practice. She had decided to only fully engage sexually when she got an ‘ok’ from her womb knowing. This sister is a sheep woman on the medicine wheel of all the 9 female genital anatomy types. Sheep woman is in the place of the south on the wheel, connected to the awareness of the heart, fluidity and water. One of her traits is that she usually is more wet and desires a heart to heart connection with anyone she engages with. Check out my book for all the 9 female genital anatamy types page 130.
She had been dating a lovely young man and during an intimate moment had shared with him that her pussy was not ready for his cock to enter her jade gate. She had asked her womb “Are we ready to let this man enter?” and her womb knowing said: “no.” Shortly after this incident the man spoke to her and said he could not continue the relationship. She was experiencing sadness and the feeling of loss. And was expressing this to a sister that had said: “Well, you know he probably broke up with you, because you can never say no to an erect cock.” This was not the case nor the true experience for the sheep woman. She said well I know in my heart to be true that I can only open fully when ALL of me is ready.
The point of this story is…
Are we ready to loose it all to be true to ourself? So many times the pussy has opened opened and opened from a place of wanting to please. And in the long run, that is not what the masculine actually desires. A woman is the gate keeper of deeper love. She can guide man to the deepest depths of love. If he is willing to go all the way, then he may be rewarded beyond his wildest imagination. How to find out? Man must be ready to fully die. This death is the hardest death for man. And only when it is the right timing for him, with the right woman that can hold this space of deeper love- then it is possible to merge in union where love meets love. Fear may be very present. And that is welcome here. It is only at the gate of love, where we must face all of our fears. You must be willing to enter… you must be willing to be guided. With patience, presence, and an open heart woman can bring man to the deepest love a man has always longed for. This kind of love and intimacy is what we all truly seek. Even if it is a connection for an evening or a deeper long term bond. Honesty, transparency, communication are all major keys to deeper intimacy and love. Be honest with yourself first and foremost. Nature is never in a hurry. Nature does not know how to rush. When the pussy knows. She knows. It can be very wise and worth listening to this guidance. Even better… explore for yourself. Once we have experienced the real depths of intimacy it can be hard to go back to shallow living. A quicky at the gym with someone we find a connection with can still be amazing-shake-you-to-the-core, don’t get me wrong. The price we pay is far greater, when we push ourselves, even in the slightest ‘wrong’ direction. As we unfold each petal by petal of our truth and our pussy. It’s when She is ripe and ready the magic happens…
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DAY SIXTEEN Orgasm
30 Day Inspiration ~ Discover Your Erotic Nature
Ten Days of Spice | With Amara Charles and The Shakti Team
The body naturally knows which orgasm to naturally move into as a way of balancing the body, mind, spirit and heart. Knowing the body and having an educated pussy ( tupuli) and cock ( tipilli) is of high importance to bring more pleasure and fun into our sacred spiritual sexual practice. As we listen to our body, we become master conduits for creating more peace on the planet. When we allow the body to move in a way that comes from a deeper knowing of what we actually desire and yearn for it appears as though the body is much wiser then our own ‘planning’ can ever really be. When we have a orgasm or two or twenty we actually bring balance to different aspects of our being depending on also what kind of orgasm we experience.
There are many different types of orgasm. Check my book on page 183 in The Sexual practices of Quodoushka chapter 10 – The nine types of orgasmic expression.
“When we use orgasm well, our orgasm can sustain our health and well being. Yet, it is also true we can loose energy by having low-level orgasms.” page 201
I felt like the bed was rising and falling. We were so connected I could feel him inside as if he were actually touching my heart with his penis. We would stay like this for a while, rest a few minutes and start all over again. I don’t know how long we made love, and I lost count on how many orgasms I had. My belly was still shaking hours later. Leela Age Thirty-one.
This orgasm is a west earthquake orgasm, it originates inside as a rolling feeling inside the womb. Like the rumbling of an earthquake starting with milder sensations, it builds gradually in strength until it implodes inside with great force. These deeply satisfying orgasms induce swells of gratitude and profound intimacy. Page 196 in The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka.
To discover more about your erotic nature and learn about all the different male and female orgasm types. You can read more about this in my book The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka and find it in my online shop amaracharles.com
Wishing you all more high level orgasms and natural ways of restoring, relaxing and replenishing the body…
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