What would happen if you allowed the men in your life to love every bit of you? Can you imagine having men who wish to provide whatever they can; able to take you into realms of pleasure that thrills you to the bone? Can you picture the kind of guy who’s turned on every time he makes just the right move at just the right time?
Here’s what I’ve noticed about certain men; when given the right kind of clues, they’re absolutely eager to delight us.
But why do men seldom succeed as much as they could? Why do they frequently fall short, leaving things unsaid and untouched? And why do they so often seem clueless, asking us what we want?
In my experience, training a man to catch our signals of desire is a matter of learning how to inspire him rather than asking for or demanding what we want. Yes, we can ask, and sometimes even demand that he steps up or slows down. But there are better ways to inspire men to love us the way we’d like to be loved.
First, keep in mind what inspires men most, especially during sex: More …
- Erotic Intelligence
- Great Lover
- Inspiring Him
- Shakti Queen
- 3 Comments
People who are well nourished and greatly inspired by their relationships live at the outer limits of intimacy. They not only dream of but deeply crave what is beyond easy grasp. They know deep fulfillment comes from extending and stretching the borders of what is already known. If you want the most from your relations you must realize it lives outside your comfort zones.
Deep love exists on the fringes of plain view. It thrives beyond what is already known and being done. A great relationship, and real intimacy requires a new approach. Anytime you don’t know what to do differently, your answer is to hunt for another approach. More …
- Erotic Intelligence
- Intimacy Retreat
- relationship advice
- sex and intimacy
- sex and intimacy retreats
- sexual education
- Shakti Queen
- spiritual sexuality
- Leave a comment
Why I can’t stop offering sacred sexuality
I like inviting the soft burn of yearning love to come out from hiding. Even the most bruised and tender spirits, the ones who’ve just about given up, the ones who feel tired of losing, or who don’t even know they’re caged in pain; these are the ones I love lifting. Actually, it’s we who do the lifting. It happens every time.
I like when we become healers because it’s safe to shine. I like when we get to the place where sex is no longer about me and what I want, or what I can get. I like when our sexuality stays fragile, and private and clear. I love when there is no difference between my pleasure and your pleasure. I love the moments when giving is so thrilling, so sweet and so divine, nobody is left out.
Regular sex, the kind you have behind closed doors, is still my favorite kind of sex. Ah, but there’s something very different when we get together to explore our sacred sexuality. And it isn’t what you may think. More …
You know you are living in Dharma Relationship if you:
Can find something to smile about even in the most disastrous situations, forget about things that are simply none of your business and get on with things that are. You can get angry, sad, mad and even rage – but it blows over fast, and you keep finding that darkness inside and chopping it into little pieces. You make love as a solace, a source of sublime deliverance. You strive to know the other as best you can, yet take pleasure in never quite making it. You constantly know life is a rather brief adventure, and that it matters who you serve; your self or all humanity.
Perhaps you’ve noticed how having major secrets or lying in your intimate relationships keeps you hooked in a karmic-merry-go-round that isn’t very merry. It’s no fun getting caught in loops where nothing seems to change, old irritations insist on rearing up and you can’t help adding insult to injury. Such is the way of a Karmic Relationship.
The only way to shed the weight of karma and step on a path to creating a Dharma Relationship is start seeing transgressions for what they are. And here’s the kicker: whether you’ve made or have been the target of a transgression (as in being the cheater or being cheated on), it doesn’t matter. Either one keeps you dragging through karma going round and round.
Dharma Relationships are radically different, and the habits you start to ingrain are a lot more fun. It’s not that you suddenly escape conflict, get rid of all irritation or that you have the best sex ever right away. You do however start to play by rules that bring you into a different world.
In karmic relationships you get to More …
I’ve been getting even more comments from my last newsletter; tales of awful dates and stories from those who, while they first thought nothing spiritual could come of this, now bless the day internet dating was born.
This was written by a man who said I could share his online ad. I love it. It worked for him.
I am a hot zesty 44 year old awesome bundle of love looking for a yummy juicy sexy woman that can’t wait to dive into my pants and discover the fullness of life. I am a man that has the capacity to be both strong and vulnerable, passionate and intimate as well as genuine and nurturing. I enjoy creating art, dancing tango, traveling the world, and reading poetry as much as I enjoy developing a successful business, curling up by a fire, and holding hands while watching a movie.
I give myself permission to cry, to not have the answers and to make mistakes. I am a man that celebrates both his mortal and divine masculine and I am in search of my twin soul-flame consort that embodies the beautiful mystery of the awakened divine feminine with an open heart, elegance and grace.
In the name of love I invite you to trust spirit, walk the razors edge and jump off cliffs into the unknown with me.
What do you think ladies? Guys?
If you’ve ever been curious about how to put your self out into cyberland in a good way, or you have some experience in the matter, we’d like to learn more. After reading these examples, I would love to know what you think makes a great ad or what turns you off? Would you respond to any of these, and if so, why? More …
I know what you might think. Yes, while it’s true being as hard as rock can lead to hours of hot, driven, pounding love, there is a softer world filled with off-the-chart sensations – for both men and woman. The truth is, soft is where the sensation is. When you’re soft, relaxed and open you can feel more. And the softer the power, the bigger the bliss.
Of course, there are physiological (and highly pleasurable) reasons for staying hard. Most, but by no means all! ejaculations happen at the apex of a sturdy rod. While this often feels very very good, until you develop the ability to relax and open during epic surges of energy, both you and your partner will lose a great deal of what could be harnessed to feel more healthy, happy and alive. More …
This series is dedicated to erotically intelligent women and men who are increasing their magnetic presence to attract higher levels of engagement.
Have you ever considered writing an online ad?
It can be a fascinating way to increase your magnetic presence to seek, find and deepen your beloved relationships. I know quite a few switched on seekers who have found some rather amazing people online and I’ve seen what works and what doesn’t. While online rules of engagement may change the way we meet, the laws of attraction remain. The question is, how can we refine our approach to seeking and finding a beloved, online or otherwise and turn it into a spiritual adventure? More …
Of course it does.
If you consider what we go through, all the emotional obstacles, not to mention time constraints, kids and all those other reasonable sounding excuses – like I don’t have the right partner – it’s remarkable that we ever let ourselves surrender into the deeply nourishing bliss of ecstasy. We all know there’s magic here.
Here’s what sexual magic is not.
It’s not having sex to get something. It’s not using sexual energy to magically produce more money, more sex or a big new house. More …
FAQ’s About Quodouhhka and Shakti Queen Retreats
Hi, I’m from Argentina. I’ve read about the retreats and I find it interesting. My sexual life began late, but since them I’m trying to get better at it. However I’m still not very comfortable with my body and sexuality. I think that would help… I’d like to know what kind of exercises you do and how is everything there… I would like to participate and grow there and I understand that some exercises may be difficult, I don’t know… The thing is I’m sometimes a bit shy, so is that right for me? Is there nudity there? Or sexual contact? Because I’d like to grow and learn to be more free, but it would make me embarrassed and nervous… So how is it? Is there nudity at all? And if so, how would I get to be comfortable with it?
There are so many workshops and retreats… I was thinking of the women’s retreat in Hawaii, but I’m not sure now… It’s better a Q1 workshop for me? Or what do you recommend me?
First I will share about Shakti Queen, which would be an excellent way to begin. Many women choose to do Shakti Queen first because you will have the opportunity to explore, doscover and experience personal insights about the power and the beauty of your sexuality in an amazing circle of women.
We begin with reflections of the divine goddess, where you will receive a Goddess image that you will dream into and seek to embody throughout the weekend.
This Goddess image is a special shamanic tool used by women to draw out and awaken certain qualities that are dormant, yet yearning to be expressed.
Later in the retreat, after you have had time to contemplate and share with sisters the meaning of this face of the Goddess, we have a very special
bringing out the highest reflection of the Goddess inside you. This will be an experience that will guide and inspire you to manifest your heart’s desire throughout the year.
Another focus of Shakti Queen is practicing the sweetness of devotion. Each day we will share chanting, meditation and special feminine spiritual practices that have been used by women for centuries to strengthen their spirits. We will also do very specific Taoist practices for sexual restoration, including Yin Way Breast Massage, ovarian massage and other qigong practices for developing harmony and vitality in our bodies, minds and spirits. What’s so special about these practices is that they have been taught to me mostly by women, and they are specifically designed to be learned and shared by women. They are easy, fun and delicious. They are sensual, but not sexual. The focus is on you opening your heart to you, and feeling this wonderful aliveness in your body.
All of Shakti Queen is based upon what I call the Great Softening. So many women reach a point where they’ve learned how to survive, they’ve gained skills to make it in the world.
In the process, we harden, and we lose touch with the amazing power of our own softness. That’s why I call it the Great Softening, where we learn to claim, celebrate, and most importantly learn how to use our soft power to bring happiness into our relationships, families and careers. The workshop is about learning ways to nourish yourself with so much self love it pours into every area of your life.
There’s much more…of course Maui will be extraordinary because we will be doing a lot of these practices in gorgeous natural settings, near oceans and wild lagoons…
The only nudity will be if you want to go swimming, or lie bask in the sun…(and the breast exercise if you choose.)
Now for the Quodoushka.
Of course the big difference is that there are men, and this changes everything !
There will be approximately 30 people, both singles and couples. You will be choosing
different partners throughout the program. Some exercises are solo, some
are partnered and some with the whole group.
The exercises range from talking exercises to clear sexual issues, breathing exercises to liberate sexual energy, healing touch exercises to release and remove sexual stress, and group exercises to transform pain or shame into confidence and pride with who you are. There are so many different ways we do this it’s hard to explain them all…
The main thing is this: each exercise will be demonstrated.
You will have the chance to observe, and then you will have time before each exercise to make an agreement about precisely how YOU feel comfortable doing the demonstrated exercise.
And we give you guidelines about how to make your agreements with a partner. After the exercise we all share about what we learned; what worked and what didn’t.
This is a big part of Quodoushka, maybe the biggest thing people ‘take home’ from the workshop, and why so may come back over and over again.
I believe the this is the place we get hurt and confused about sexual intimacy the most: we don’t know how to first consider and then say to our partner what we want. We tend to dive in and figure things out later. Sometimes it’s great, but lots of times it isn’t.
Quodoushka gives you guided, authentic, real-time practice making sexual agreements first with yourself and then with another. Creating good agreements before you act sexually could possibly save you years and years of learning by trial and lots of error.
In Quodoushka making agreements is easy, it’s fun, and most importantly, your agreements lead to the kind of pleasure you can fully own and cherish. I call it creating the conditions for your own safety. This workshop is about taking your power,
by learning to express what you want and what you don’t. Feeling good about that is probably the most important teaching with in all the amazing teachings of Quodoushka.
Yes, we recommend you you do many of these practices without clothes. Why? Aside from the fact that it’s much easier, you will have the chance, in a very safe and sacred environment to shed layers of shame about your body you didn’t even know you have.
Not everything is done without clothes, in fact we ask you to dress in very special ways for your Quodushka experience (but that’s something you get to find out about once you register:-) Trust me, it’s a lot of fun.
Now, this being said, there is absolutely nothing in Quodoushka workshop that you must do.
We believe there are already enough things you’ve learned that you should or shouldn’t to sexually, so our interest is in totally supporting you to find and express your own “Yes”,
and your own ‘No’. Sometimes, a ‘no’ can be just the thing you most need to learn, and sometimes a ‘yes’ is the very thing you’ve been afraid of but secretly hoped to find a way to say. Quodoushka gives you practice finding YOUR sexual yes.
Over the years, as you can imagine, I’ve been asked about nudity countless times. And honestly, by the time we get to an exercise, most people cannot wait to shed a few clothes and do the exercise… This is because we do everything gradually, and we make sure it’s a safe, sacred and respectful place to learn and grow. We strive to create this loving place of safety because we know how very fragile we are in this intimate arena - no matter how old or young we are.
The next big question is, ‘How far will this go?’
I can answer this one easily: there is no explicit sexuality in any of the exercises in Q1.
There is touching, but as to what’s included, as I said, this is entirely up to you. The exercises are not genitally focused. In the group we have a range of people who may have been married for twenty years, to people who are coming as
singles and experiencing this kind of workshop for the very first time.
So we create a place where everyone can make choices that work for them.
Another question I often don’t hear, (because maybe people are afraid to say) is the fear about being seen by others in a group, discussing or practicing these exercises.
Again, I say, not to worry. You will be tucked away in a little corner of privacy so focused the rest of the people will disappear. I hear this comment from people time and time again, so I know it’s true.
Many of the fears we have are projections of things we don’t know, but that’s also the excitement about coming to a Quodoushka!
It’s exciting to face’ the unknown’ in a safe, secure and loving place. That’s where all the growth is. Really, Quodoushka is not just about sex,it’s about discovering where your vulnerable edges are and learning to move into those edges with pleasure and care.
Thanks For Asking! I hope this answers your questions. If you have more, please ask!
Too Learn More Please Visit our Workshop Page to see our Upcoming Workshops
In Beauty, Amara Charles
Author I Workshops I Orbit Coaching
602 820 4661
Have you joined my Nourishing Arts FB Page?https://www.facebook.com/AmaraCharlesNourishingArts
Your book, The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka: Teachings from the Nagual Tradition, is a best seller—congratulations. In my perfect world this book would be a high school textbook in mandatory sex ed. You describe nine different genital morphologies for both men and women. With porn setting the standard of large, circumcised cocks and small, neat, evenly shaped vulvas, to which we compare our own genitals, this book can help heal a lot of shame. Can you share with us some of your experiences of how you work with people around this topic?
Oh, boy, don’t get me started… just kidding. Thank You.
I think my book is so popular because women love finding out if they’re an Antelope Woman, or a Wolf Woman and men want to know if they’re a Horse Man or A Pony Man. It’s only a small part of the book, but it has a strong impact because, for one thing, people like looking at the pictures to find out what type of genital anatomy they have.
By the way, I did not make this up! These types were actually discovered and recorded from the Twisted Hairs Elders of the Sweet Medicine Sundance Path, and were handed down from teacher to student for thousands of years. My book is the first to publish these teachings in a book for the public.
It turns out our anatomy tells us a lot about the way we like to receive pleasure, and it gives amazing insights into the specific kinds of genital pleasure our partner will most enjoy. More …
‘The hardest part of making an agreement is to get to the bottom of your true feelings…
Interview by Bella Lavey
How would you describe your spiritual path? And can you share with us a little of your history; what brought you to this path? Have you always been passionate about sexuality?
When I was in my 20’s I had a sexual meltdown. More …
I Loved talking with Max Van Prague about my favorite private matters: passion, sex and intimacy… It’s all about having a ‘Beginner’s Mind’. Great Interview. Thanks Max!
DAY 18 of Discovering Your Erotic nature
with Amara Charles and The Shakti Team
Porsche Lynne is a legend in the world of Adult entertainment and known as the girl with the Million Dollar Legs. This woman does not only ooze confidence, Warrior Shakti, kindness, integrity, empowerment, respect, honoring, etc etc she also has the heart of compassion and is one of the greatest women I have ever met. What an inspiration this women is, and let me share with you how she has come to be this…
She started her career as a burlesque performer, gracing the pages of the most men’s magazines like High Society, Chic and Cheri. She then went to on star in over 250 XXX-rated films between the years 1985-2002. During that time she became part of the Adult Hall Of Fame, Legends of Erotica, Free Speech Coalition, X-rated Critics, and the Hustler Hall of Fame. She is an activist for free speech, especially in the area of Adult Entertainment and Sexual Education. She was an Integral part in the making of Free Speech Coalition poster, which recreated the raising of the flag at Iwo Jima. In her time after the camera, she went on to become one of the premiere Domina’s, as well as owning and operating her own dungeon located in Phoenix, AZ where she continues to be an advocate for free speech, sexual exploration ( especially in the area of power exchange), and sexual education.
- Erotic Intelligence
- Sexual Agreements
- sexual education
- sexual instruction
- sexual restoration
- spiritual sexuality
- Women's Retreat
- Leave a comment