Reclaiming Feminine Vitality

Five Things Women Do in the Presence of an Alpha Male

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The Alpha Male

As fascinating as the topic of the Instinctive Design of Erotic Attention* was really, it’s the bronco ride of co-creating with an alpha male that lifts my skirt these days.

My recent collaboration inspires me to reflect on the five things women tend to do when we’re with an alpha male. But first, I suppose, we should ask, What are the signs you’ve got an alpha male on your hands?

He’s Unpredictable. Check. Powerfully assertive yet yielding at the right moments. Check. He’s an unabashed, indomitable and at times he’s an unstoppable leader. Yet, as strong as he appears, a superior alpha male bows gracefully to feminine intelligence whenever she shows a face wiser than his own. Double  Check.

The five things we tend to do are run, put him above us, contend, control or cultivate and then ride on the curves of his magic. Any of these options may be correct depending on the man and the time. The approaches you choose will either take you into tangled webs of disappointment or they will intensify the quality of happiness in your intimate relations with men.


Although the option of running may seem weak, if you sense an alpha male is using his seductive charms to get something you do not wish to give, running away could be an act of power.  But how many of us, intrigued by an alpha male’s charm, stay longer than we know is right?

To reflect on the reasons why, consider this: cajoling you into giving something that you actually desire, but are afraid to give can be quite alluring. An alpha male must become good at hunting for the hidden needs of a woman; predators take advantage of them.

More …

Feature Article: Let Men Adore You

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What would happen if you let the men in your life utterly adore you? Can you imagine having men eager to provide whatever they can, able to take you into realms of pleasure you have may never known? Can you picture men who are turned on by finding ways to delight your body, mind and soul?

In my experience, when given the chance, these are precisely the things that men are absolutely dying to do for us.

But why do men seldom succeed? Why do they frequently fall short,
leaving things unsaid and undone? And why do they so often seem clueless, asking us what we want?

In my experience, it’s a matter of inspiring men rather than asking for or demanding the things we want. Yes, we can ask, and sometimes even demand that they step up. But what works best is to let our selves be surprised by what they do.

How often (I’m speaking now to women) have you asked a man to do something only to be frustrated that he didn’t listen, or he forgot, or even did the very thing you asked him not to do?

This is the first task: let a man be inspired by your openness.
It’s no secret men love to feel free, and that they often bristle at being told what to do – especially by a woman. So pay attention to how you ask for what you want. Is there a hidden agenda? Are you too attached to the way you expect things to be done?

The way to inspire his best to come pouring out is to relax into your beauty. I’m not referring only to putting on nice clothes or working out (although this may certainly inspire him too), I also mean to guard your speech, your eyes and your heart.

Try to say beautiful things about yourself and others. Notice beautiful things. Focus on creating beauty around you until there are surges of beauty that show up wherever you go.

One of the most important secrets to letting a man adore you is to cultivate the feeling that”I deserve pleasure. And I am worth it”.
For a man cannot cherish you unless you first begin, little by little, to love your self more.

What makes you shine most brightly- this is what men find irresistible-
is a kind of selfless shine. If you express selfishness, jealousy, greed or ignorance, this is precisely what will appear in the men around you.

A selfless shine is a luster that emanates from a woman who is plump with joy; it comes from a woman whose spirit generates happiness, trust and hope. She has a kind of erotic intelligence that supports his dreams and so she does not need to ‘get’ men to do anything…

When a woman nourishes her self, life and others this way she will be surrounded and supported by men who do the same. It’s a profound
pleasure to inspire men’s greatness by being someone worthy to protect, provide and create for.

In beauty
Quehestemehah (You dance in my heart)

(c) Amara Charles 2013
Keeps the Fire


You Tube bans My Video Poem, Beautiful Breasts

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You Tube pulled my video poem, and suspended my account. (my account has been reinstated)

There is nothing pornographic about this video. It is dedicated intended to educate and empower women. Yes, it astonishes me that showing a man being shoved in front of a train is okay to view, but a beautiful portrayal of women’s breasts on video is fine. (sculptures are okay).

What do you think?


Beautiful Breasts from Amara Charles on Vimeo.

Beautiful Breasts from Amara Charles on Vimeo.

Amara Charles presents a video poem inspiring women to love their beautiful breasts.

Amara Charles presents a video poem inspiring women to love their beautiful breasts. An inspirational video, this is the introduction to her new release of the Yin Way Breast Exercises for sexual restoration. By practicing this self love, self massage exercise, women can love them selves and love their breasts. The full exercise is available @

The full YIN WAY BREAST EXERCISE, follow along self massage practice filmed in Kauai, is now available in my shop.


Yin Way Breast Exercise

Yin Way Breast Exercise. Now available.

Jade Egg for Sexual Restoration

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5 Eggs

Jade Egg for Sexual Restoration

Why Sexual Restoration is Necessary?

It’s no longer a secret that feeling sexy is an important aspect to vibrant health. Women everywhere are starting to realize that we cannot always wait for the right moment or the perfect partner to get our sexy back.

The good news is that you don’t have to wait; you already have everything you need to begin an integrated body – mind – spirit practice to feel that warm hum of sexy energy flowing through your body. It is a new time for women; a time for open communication, sharing and renewed awareness about how we can stay happier, healthier and younger.

Yin Way Practices

I have been presenting and developing  Yin Way practices over the last twenty years because I have found feminine ways, ways that are both gentle and invigorating that work remarkably well for women’s health.

What makes the Yin Way Practices so unique is not that the methods are so different from yoga, or other forms of Qigong, in fact, they are all easy to do. I have created a system to  to blend the tranquil Yin meditative exercises together with vigorous, active Yang exercises in a balanced way. Most importantly, through the Breast, Vaginal and Ovarian exercises, we include sexual restoration exercises in our regular practice. Plus, of this is done in a way that nourishes women in an empowering, feminine way.

The Yin Way Practices includes methods my partner and I have gathered from various teachers, especially female teachers who embody the essence of feminine power, wisdom and grace. More …

What is it About Breasts?

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Maybe someday, it will be fine to show bare breasts and enjoy in their beauty without being shamed. What it is about breasts that makes us feel so uncomfortable?

Female Breasts that is. Last I checked, every female has them. But we can only do certain things with them, one of them being we must hide them in public. We are allowed to tease, with partial peeks around the edges, but not the tips, or the nipples. Really, nipples must be tucked away from view.

If you’ve ever gone to a place where every one is naked, in about ten minutes, everyone stops looking. So the argument that baring breasts causes too much arousal, (similar to what some Muslims fear) is just not true. In reality, it’s the hiding, the partially revealing that’s far more arousing than letting them just hang out. I noticed our strange customs around breasts when I created this video, Beautiful Breasts, which is banned from You Tube, I guess from showing those nipples. I made it to celebrate the beauty of our breasts. But most importantly I wanted to give women a way to connect lovingly with their own breasts.

Certain breasts are okay, I’ve seen many films showing bare breasted indigenous women. Guess that’s okay, because? But showing western women enjoying their breasts, or for the purpose of healing? Still way too much for you tube. Perhaps demystifying breasts may influence too many women away from surgeries to augment them. Given the fact that so many women are suffering from breast cancer, and almost everyone I know knows several women who have had serious issues with their breasts, isn’t it time to flood our media with empowering images? Could it be that mainstream’s phobia about showing breasts, combined with our obsessive fascination may be contributing to the shame women feel about their bodies?

I wonder about my breasts

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Breast Cup Hand

Jane Zawski wrote:
I looked at your video with great interest.  I have below A-size breasts and what I have sag and have stretch marks on them.  The pink areolas and nipples are ok, but, really, I don’t think my breasts are beautiful.  I’m sure there are many of us mothers out there with such breasts.  I’ve looked, but can’t find pictures of other breasts like mine and women who love these little, scarred protrusions.  I am just writing quickly because I have just a moment, and would love any thoughts and you to point me in the right direction (same for my saggy upper and lower stomach, below which muscles are actually visible from my yoga practice, but the sag and stretched, marked skin won’t ever go away, I guess).
Love you,

Amara wrote:
Dear Jane,

You have been on my mind all day. Perhaps I made this video for you. I know many women do not love their bodies or their breasts. This is why I made the video, I made it for women like you and me, who must learn to love our bodies.

When I was a young girl. I fell in love with my camp counselor and I used to love letting my eyes linger and stare at his skin when he wasn’t looking. I loved every pore of his face, and I was fascinated by the deep grooves, crevices, lines and marks that sprawled across his cheeks, and nose. I used to study and remember every indentation, and I remember ( this was 40 years ago!) I absolutely adored the marks on his face as if they were the signatures or calligraphy of a fine painting.

Then, a few years later I saw him again. The glow of summer camp had faded long ago. I zoomed into his face as I did as a girl, but now as a young woman, my brain registered wrinkles, and deep pockmarks! The very things I loved stroking my eyes over he must have hated or thought odd. Such are the eyes of an innocent girl.

This is exactly why I made the Beautiful Breast video, because it is the way we use our eyes that matters; especially the way we see ourselves. We can look at our bodies, or others with love and we will see beauty. Or we can look with muddy eyes, cruel eyes, and eyes full of judgement. Then what we see becomes ugly.

Your Breasts Are Beautiful

A favorite poem by Hafiz goes something like this
What is it you would change?
Your face?
Your eyes?
(Your Breasts)
Why would you change these things?
For if you change
Your face
Your eyes
(Your breasts)
God might might not recognize you.

I know few of us have breasts like the ones in these pictures. You see, it’s not really important to change the lines or shape of things, for that is not where beauty is.
Love is the only thing that can change the shape of things, for love is a feeling. It’s a vibration that creates the shape of what we see.

So you must not approach your body or your self with the idea that you must change anything, because nothing is wrong.

Now, this being said, I know that seeing ourselves with muddy eyes is not an easy thing to let go of. I know we want to feel and be seen as beautiful. But trust me, this must first come from inside you. You must find different eyes to see yourself.

Beauty is a vibration of love. It’s first a feeling of self acceptance, saying to your self, ‘okay, I am what I am.’

When you do this, if you can you look at your self with kinder eyes for a just a moment something curious cam happen. Try to see, try to look at your breasts before your mind has a chance to sink a dark arrow into what you see.  You can suspend those dark arrows of judgement against yourself by having a little bit of awareness.

You need to pause first and look at what you see without thinking. You will notice your self looking at your breasts. This is the secret to turning your eyes inwards, to turning the darkness of not liking yourself into a moment of directly seeing what is really so. These tiny pauses of awareness turn into light arrows of self acceptance.  As you do this again and again your inner eyes meet your outer eyes, and they become kinder and kinder until your gaze for yourself turns into a warm fire of self love.

I cannot promise you will get rid of every line and groove, but I can say if you love yourself again and again your eyes will change, and your body will feel different.

This is the secret of beauty, because if you do this for long enough, the shape of your body will shimmer with beauty. Beauty is a vibration that when you feel it, it can be seen by others. This is really why I created the Yin Way video, so you could create this vibration of love inside you.

I know many women do not feel their breasts are beautiful. I do not have the breasts of a model, but I love them. I had to be told many times by my lover that my breasts are beautiful. I couldn’t hear those words, especially about my breasts, for a long time. But gradually, I began to feel this love, curling inside me like a wisp of smoke. I knew I had to do this often, to practice loving myself, caressing myself with this nourishing love until I could feel love sinking into my skin and my mind. Maybe some are born with this kind of love or beauty, and it’s easier for them to feel. But maybe some of us have to grow and tend to our bodies like a garden in need of water and sun. This is why I also believe that breasts need to be nibbled and licked, and stroked until we can get used to this vibration and know that it is good.

You are beautiful Jane.

In beauty,

Yin Way Breast Exercise

Yin Way Breast Exercise. Now available.

p.s. with your permission, I’d like to post this so others can begin to feel this vibration of love inside themselves.
May I?

Jane wrote:

Dear Amara

Thank you for your reply.  I’m thinking a lot about what you’ve written and I appreciate it.

Yes, please share with others whatever you wish.  What you wrote is beautiful.

Thanks again -


Yin Way Breast Exercise

for beautiful breasts that shimmer with love from the inside out.

Yin Way Breast Massage Now Available

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Yin Way Breast Massage Now Available

Currently Banned From You Tube!
Yin Way Breast Massage Now Available

Announcing a New Release of the Yin Way Breast Exercises. Watch my new Video Poem: Beautiful Breasts Direct Download Video is Now Available @ Amara

Announcing a New Release of the Yin Way Breast Exercises. Watch my new Video Poem: Beautiful Breasts Direct Download Video is Now Available @ Amara

Amara Charles presents a video poem inspiring women to love their beautiful breasts. An inspirational video, this is the introduction to her new release of the Yin Way Breast Exercises for sexual restoration. By practicing this self love, self massage exercise, women can love them selves and love their breasts. The full exercise is now available in our shop.

(currently banned for nudity)

Introduction Beautiful Breasts

Direct Download of the full Yin Way Breast Exercise is Now Available @ Amara

An Irresistibly Ordinary Queen

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Just for fun, I looked up ‘queen’ to see whether the common definition came anywhere close to my take on the word. I was especially curious to see if her feminine erotic  intelligence (the most delightful quality of a queen) is included in our average dictionary.

Of course, Webster fails to mention the lusty, erotic things I envision. More …

My Mother’s Ben Wah Balls

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5 Jade Eggs

I often return from visiting my Mom swirling from the differences in our lives. This time, brimming with benevolent compassion and feeling rather sexy after teaching several Quodoushkas, I was perfectly poised to find the bridges of heart-to-heart connection between us.

Within the first 5 minutes, as I’m unpacking my bags in Florida, I open a box of of Jade Eggs.

What are those? she asks.

Out of respect, I could have easily made up something. But there was something about the way she asked – it was like she already knew what they were. Sure enough, before I could even say, she blurts out;

They go inside your ‘pupick’ (our polite family word for vagina.)

Yep, that’s exactly what they are Mom. They go inside and they feel really nice.

I have this thing with my mother. I don’t go into details unless she asks. This time she does, so I venture a little further;

I show women how to become stronger and juicier.

Sensing this is a bit too much information, I shift to,

How do you know what they are?

As if she’d been using them for 70 years she delightfully boasts of her new-found sexual education,

They talk all about Ben Wah balls in Fifty Shades of Grey. I figured that’s what they were.

My sister chimes in and says, You should write an article on Fifty Shades.

Next, my sister-in-law can’t wait to tell me she has read all three books, which she says, Are really cheesy, but I can’t put them down.

Ok, I confess, I am one of several people on the planet who has not read Fifty Shades of Grey. Apparently, these tugs from my family, and possibly the sky-rocketing Jade Egg sales on my website are trying to tell me something. I used to consider my teachings using Jade Eggs somewhat esoteric, but who knew?

I’ve been wondering why these books are now more popular than Harry Potter.

Have you read Fifty Shades? Is it worth the read?

p.s. Thanks Mom. You’ve got balls. And I love you.

Quehestemehah. You Dance in My Heart In beauty, Amara Charles

p.s. Want to learn about  how Jade Eggs can strengthen your muscles and increase lubrication? Come to my Woman’s Retreat called the Shakti Queen!

Shakti Queen Woman’s Retreat North Carolina

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Internationally renowned sex and intimacy author Amara Charles is a Master Quodoushka Teacher and apprentice of the Sweet Medicine SunDance Path of Turtle Island since 1987.  She has traveled teaching

Spiritual Sexuality workshops around the world for over twenty years.  She is author of the best-selling book The Sexual Practices of the Quodoushka, as well as Sexual Agreements, “Aching to Open” and “Touch for Two.”  Her dynamic, insightful, and provocative presentations inspire audiences to uplift their relationships to profound levels of intimate sexual pleasure.  A Qigong practitioner for many years, Amara offers a unique feminine perspective for increasing your health and vitality.

For more information or to register for the Shakti Queen Retreat This Year in North Carolina, September 13-15, 2013 please contact:

Kelly :