People who are well nourished and greatly inspired by their relationships live at the outer limits of intimacy. They not only dream of but deeply crave what is beyond easy grasp. They know deep fulfillment comes from extending and stretching the borders of what is already known. If you want the most from your relations you must realize it lives outside your comfort zones.
Deep love exists on the fringes of plain view. It thrives beyond what is already known and being done. A great relationship, and real intimacy requires a new approach. Anytime you don’t know what to do differently, your answer is to hunt for another approach.
You must search for the one thing that will open your lover. You must keep seeking the one thing that will melt him. You must keep looking until you find the one thing that causes her to look at you in a new way.
The first thing to do is risk. Dare being ridiculous. Over the top. Completely awkward.
I am not only talking about lovers. I’m talking about doing whatever it takes to get closer to family and to anyone you feel distant, far away, angry or hurt with.
I just flew to Manila with my sister while I was sick. It was an impossible task. For years my sister accused me of being too busy, too far away and too selfish. She happened to be right. I also felt a pain in my heart every time I thought about my brother, who I had not seen for five years. So when she said ‘I’m going to the Philippines next week to see our brother’, I said, ‘I’m coming with you.’ More …
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Why I can’t stop offering sacred sexuality
I like inviting the soft burn of yearning love to come out from hiding. Even the most bruised and tender spirits, the ones who’ve just about given up, the ones who feel tired of losing, or who don’t even know they’re caged in pain; these are the ones I love lifting. Actually, it’s we who do the lifting. It happens every time.
I like when we become healers because it’s safe to shine. I like when we get to the place where sex is no longer about me and what I want, or what I can get. I like when our sexuality stays fragile, and private and clear. I love when there is no difference between my pleasure and your pleasure. I love the moments when giving is so thrilling, so sweet and so divine, nobody is left out.
Regular sex, the kind you have behind closed doors, is still my favorite kind of sex. Ah, but there’s something very different when we get together to explore our sacred sexuality. And it isn’t what you may think. More …
Perhaps you’ve noticed how having major secrets or lying in your intimate relationships keeps you hooked in a karmic-merry-go-round that isn’t very merry. It’s no fun getting caught in loops where nothing seems to change, old irritations insist on rearing up and you can’t help adding insult to injury. Such is the way of a Karmic Relationship.
The only way to shed the weight of karma and step on a path to creating a Dharma Relationship is start seeing transgressions for what they are. And here’s the kicker: whether you’ve made or have been the target of a transgression (as in being the cheater or being cheated on), it doesn’t matter. Either one keeps you dragging through karma going round and round.
Dharma Relationships are radically different, and the habits you start to ingrain are a lot more fun. It’s not that you suddenly escape conflict, get rid of all irritation or that you have the best sex ever right away. You do however start to play by rules that bring you into a different world.
In karmic relationships you get to More …
I’ve been getting even more comments from my last newsletter; tales of awful dates and stories from those who, while they first thought nothing spiritual could come of this, now bless the day internet dating was born.
This was written by a man who said I could share his online ad. I love it. It worked for him.
I am a hot zesty 44 year old awesome bundle of love looking for a yummy juicy sexy woman that can’t wait to dive into my pants and discover the fullness of life. I am a man that has the capacity to be both strong and vulnerable, passionate and intimate as well as genuine and nurturing. I enjoy creating art, dancing tango, traveling the world, and reading poetry as much as I enjoy developing a successful business, curling up by a fire, and holding hands while watching a movie.
I give myself permission to cry, to not have the answers and to make mistakes. I am a man that celebrates both his mortal and divine masculine and I am in search of my twin soul-flame consort that embodies the beautiful mystery of the awakened divine feminine with an open heart, elegance and grace.
In the name of love I invite you to trust spirit, walk the razors edge and jump off cliffs into the unknown with me.
What do you think ladies? Guys?
If you’ve ever been curious about how to put your self out into cyberland in a good way, or you have some experience in the matter, we’d like to learn more. After reading these examples, I would love to know what you think makes a great ad or what turns you off? Would you respond to any of these, and if so, why? More …
Hello and Thanks for your great question!
I can describe the differences and give you a few links to read more. Once you’ve had a chance to look this over, I am happy to talk with you as well.
One of the big differences of course is Quodoushka is for men and women, and Shakti Queen presents empowerment teachings for women. Shakti Queen is where I present things I have learned from other traditions, especially my teacher Master Angela Yan. She is not only a Qigong Master, she has taken us for several years to work with her Tibetan Buddhist teachers in China. Whereas the Quodoushka teachings are exclusively shamanic teachings from the Sweet Medicine Sundance path, of which I’ve been a teacher and apprentice for over 25 years, the Shakti teachings are a blend of things I’ve learned form other traditions as well.
The truth is, many people who work with me tend to eventually do both Quodoushka and Shakti because they are so different. The underlying message that our beauty and power, and our life path is greatly strengthened by having a wise and clear understanding of our sexual nature is the same. Quodoushka places you directly in the arena of facing deep sexual issues and has an amazing way of helping to heal and transform through ceremony, and experiential exercises.
The focus of Shakti is quite different. While there is also shamanic ceremony, and much healing and transformation, and there are certainly exercises, the focus is less on sexuality and more about creating a deep rooted love of the body, and acceptance of your feminine beauty. This includes letting go of shame, and it means learning why and how feminine sexuality is vital to a women’s spiritual growth. I believe is felt, and not just heard, so we do things that plant the deep seed of love in your body so that it’s yours for always. It’s not just an idea, it’s a moving experience of truth that changes the way you feel deep down inside. That’s what really transforms and heals us, and I believe that’s why Shakti Queen has been so successful. It touches you in an unforgettable way.
Quodoushka is equally transformational! It produces epic changes in your approach to intimacy, sex and relationships. People come over and over again to Quodoushka not only to experience their own growth, and their own amazing new openings for love, they come to see it, and share this experience with others. It’s quite interesting, Quodoushka is both a deeply personal adventure, and at the same time, you cannot help be moved with compassion for other people’s journey’s too.
I could go on about the differences, but let me stop here and let you have a read to see what you think. Then, please feel free to get back with me if you have any questions. I think both would prepare you for entering a new relationship on a higher level, and both would help you clear your way for more happiness in your intimate life.
About Quodoushka 1- 4
About Shakti Queen
hope this helps !
About Shakti Queen
The cool thing about Alpha Women is they have this fierce desire to learn how to do things. And if her independence doesn’t knock you over as she’s walking out the door, just know that she’s probably battling voices that are still saying ‘it doesn’t matter, It’s too late and I don’t have what it takes’. Plus, there are still times when curling up in a little ball and having somebody take care of you sounds really good.
Lately, I’ve seen many fine Alpha Women get into such a funk. They know this is ok from time to time and perhaps even necessary. That it’s life’s way of saying something is off.
If you’ve ever reached a high, and then started slipping, perhaps you know how it goes; you start looking ‘out there’ too much, over focusing on others, and somehow you lose touch with your real needs. Any of these can take you too far away; you feel separate and things collapse.
To get back to the truth, that you’re an important, and yes, vital cell in the grand design of things, you’ve got to turn the mirror around. Like the camera on your phone, you’ve got to peer inside more accurately.
(This is why I do ceremony, and why I am on my way to China to stay in the temple with my teachers.)
Back to our Alpha Women
Have you ever reached a point where you just can’t find that thrill, that zing of what used to motivate you? Where you feel secretly bored doing what you’re certain you love?
If so, congratulations. Puffs of boredom like this come by to let us know something is nearing an end and that something new is around the corner. It means you’ve come to an edge, or a limit of what you have known and now you are ready for more. Somehow, it’s time to change course and it’s time to hunt for new edges.
I have certainly had times when I felt like going to sleep for a hundred years or wanted to wait for some prince charming to wake me from my slumber.
I suspect that when life hits hard or something collapses, the trick is to rest, reflect and listen, but don’t go too far down the rabbit hole. An intelligent woman, an Alpha Women neither ignores the mirror nor indulges by looking too long.
You are hunting for what will work better than what you’ve been doing. If Eventually, you will realize you were born with this fearless curiosity, this ability to reflect and refine, to consider more carefully what truly matters.
An average woman, or let’s say, a sleeping beauty, stays drowsy too long; she’s lulled by insignificant things and she spreads her emotions over disappointing events like frosting on cake. She keeps her dreams minor by complaining. Describing. Pointing and Avoiding. She’ll do anything rather than make a decisive move. Her battle is with the shadow hiding in her cupboards of comfort. We’ve all had such ‘waiting-until-the-right-time’ friends J
When a woman is in alpha mode she develops a nose for her edges; she learns to feel when boredom starts creeping in, even on the fringes of what she most loves. She learns to hear the inner whispers of ‘I’m not really that interested in this anymore’ as a nudge to complete certain things and to get ready for what’s next.
An Alpha woman does not oversleep on the laurels of what she’s already done. She’s more interested in what she has never known. Whereas a sleeping beauty can afford to wallow in pity (and even secretly likes company in this), an Alpha Woman is drawn to those whose thoughts of beauty generate many empowering possibilities. The interesting part is to select the best for the greatest good.
The thing is, you can’t rush such wisdom, and we do need our beauty rest.
So if you’re in a place where you must dive inward (or you get a sudden jolt) don’t label it depression and don’t call it a flaw. Try to look more deeply into the mirror. Beware of sophisticated blame. Own what’s murky, or lazy about you and do something about it.
I like what Swift Deer used to say when you feel depression tugging on your skirt: Get Busy, Stay Busy and Do something creative for others
To Learn more about Shakti Queen Women’s Empowerment Retreats and Online Offers please visit
This series is dedicated to erotically intelligent women and men who are increasing their magnetic presence to attract higher levels of engagement.
Have you ever considered writing an online ad?
It can be a fascinating way to increase your magnetic presence to seek, find and deepen your beloved relationships. I know quite a few switched on seekers who have found some rather amazing people online and I’ve seen what works and what doesn’t. While online rules of engagement may change the way we meet, the laws of attraction remain. The question is, how can we refine our approach to seeking and finding a beloved, online or otherwise and turn it into a spiritual adventure? More …
Crickette Gill of ChatterBox TV – she’s irreverent, she’s funny – and she’s a cat woman (very intelligent) We chat about Erotic Intelligence, jade eggs, what happens in Shakti Queen, vaginal restoration, jade stems, gazing at the dragon and how to give your pussy a PHD… (as if she doesn’t already have a master’s degree…)
I thought our last interview was good ~ this one’s great. Crickette is so funny and so easy to talk with! Her questions turn me on! We had such a blast in my backyard and having tea…I only wish we had camera rolling afterwards because that’s when the camera man gave his two cents, starting with something like, “well, I haven’t gotten too many complaints…”
Yes, I said laughing, still, if you’re really intelligent, you’ll keep asking me questions. (which he did). So I asked if he wanted to hear my shortest poem, The Mark of Intelligence, (which he did).
The Mark of Intelligence
is the way
you open your legs.
Don’t you think?
Amara Charles Interview with Max Van Prague – Opening Relationships
Because our needs and our desires are constantly changing, our sexual agreements must become living entities. It’s not about making contracts that confine you, It’s not about being, or expecting perfection from your partner.
Making conscious sexual agreements requires radical honesty, not only about what you want, agreements are about owning and taking responsibility for our mistakes.