It’s quite an elegant way of describing what happens in the creative flow when your identity disappears, your body dissolves and what seems to be ‘You’ floats by, suspended in the sensation that something else is moving you.

With his charming sci-poetic élan, Csikszentmihaly observes some interesting things about how, rather than arriving at peaks of heightened awareness and performance by chance, there are certain things we can do to get into this flow more often.

He Interviewed 8000 artists, scientists, musicians and monks to find out how some people regularly induce a kind of cocoon of meaningful existence where they tap into the ability to ‘create something new where nothing once existed’. Distilling the two common things all creative people do, he proposes anyone can generate flow states for heightened performance.

First he says, you need to have skill; at least ten years of practice. (Good news for those of us who’ve been making love for at least that long.) If you’re unskilled he says, you’ll have too much attention and anxiety to access the creative flow state. How true of ecstatic bliss too.

The second thing you’ll need is a challenge, for cozy comfort seems to keep you as much out of the zone as too much stress.

Consider the last time you trusted yourself to risk surrendering into an ecstatic state of pleasure. Chances are, afterwards, you glowed with a creative shine for hours, if not days. I’ve been wondering what combination of skill and challenge is required to visit those streaming erotic flow states more often, and most importantly, how we can put those  creative surges to good use.

So stay tuned in and turned on; this is just a peek of what’s coming soon. If I have enough people interested I’ll launch our new Erotic Challenge plus a totally experiential workshop integrating everything I’ve gathered for the last 25 years about how to realize your highest performance through and beyond the pleasure zone.

Meantime, practice your love skills and summon boldness in your bedroom. And remember to consider what it means to ‘stand aside‘ during moments of intense pleasure. I challenge you to become an unusual self – voyeur. Perhaps you’ll discover an uncanny eye for Eros that sees Beauty in the most unusual places, especially inside.

In case you missed it: Flow, the Secret to Happiness on Ted

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It’s quite an elegant way of describing what happens in the creative flow when your identity disappears, your body dissolves and what seems to be ‘You’ floats by, suspended in the sensation that something else is moving you.

With his charming sci-poetic élan, Csikszentmihaly observes some interesting things about how, rather than arriving at peaks of heightened awareness and performance by chance, there are certain things we can do to get into this flow more often.

He Interviewed 8000 artists, scientists, musicians and monks to find out how some people regularly induce a kind of cocoon of meaningful existence where they tap into the ability to ‘create something new where nothing once existed’. Distilling the two common things all creative people do, he proposes anyone can generate flow states for heightened performance.

First he says, you need to have skill; at least ten years of practice. (Good news for those of us who’ve been making love for at least that long.) If you’re unskilled he says, you’ll have too much attention and anxiety to access the creative flow state. How true of ecstatic bliss too.

The second thing you’ll need is a challenge, for cozy comfort seems to keep you as much out of the zone as too much stress.

Consider the last time you trusted yourself to risk surrendering into an ecstatic state of pleasure. Chances are, afterwards, you glowed with a creative shine for hours, if not days. I’ve been wondering what combination of skill and challenge is required to visit those streaming erotic flow states more often, and most importantly, how we can put those  creative surges to good use.

So stay tuned in and turned on; this is just a peek of what’s coming soon. If I have enough people interested I’ll launch our new Erotic Challenge plus a totally experiential workshop integrating everything I’ve gathered for the last 25 years about how to realize your highest performance through and beyond the pleasure zone.

Meantime, practice your love skills and summon boldness in your bedroom. And remember to consider what it means to ‘stand aside‘ during moments of intense pleasure. I challenge you to become an unusual self – voyeur. Perhaps you’ll discover an uncanny eye for Eros that sees Beauty in the most unusual places, especially inside.

In case you missed it: Flow, the Secret to Happiness on Ted

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February 25, 2013 |   By Liz Langley

“Isn’t it awfully good to have a penis,” Eric Idle mused in  the greatest 35-second song ever written [3] and I believe he’s telling the truth: having a stiffy is probably spiffy. Erections are such hopeful things, like carrying a little optimist around in your pocket, one imagines.

The penis provides lots of pleasure and keeps the human race going in its capacity as a reproductive organ. There’s all kinds of interesting facts and facets to the human penis and there are some in the animal world that could easily have been designed by Dali. Now’s your chance to get to know them a little better.

1. Spiny Norman no more.

Evolution has discarded many parts of the human penis, including … its spines?

Penile spines are little tiny ridges made of a hard tissue called keratin, and line the outside of the penis. They look (I think) a bit like those punk-inspired accessories [4] that are so popular these days. Lots of animals, including the chimpanzees, still have penis spikes. Christine Dell-Amore of National Geographic News [5] writes that the human genome project gave us the information that the ancestor we share with the chimps also had the spines.

But that was so six million years ago. The code for the “penile spine enhancer” was deleted from the human androgen receptor gene, says Nature [6] (androgens are male sex hormones) and Dell-Amore reports that it happened “before our common ancestor split into modern humans and Neanderthals about 700,000 years ago.” Quite a few deletions were discovered — 510, if you please — and gave us other spiffy changes like having bigger brains and not having whiskers.

It’s not yet certain just what the spines are for, though there are theories, Jen Quaraishi reports in Mother Jones [7] like a correlation between spines and greater promiscuity, also that they make for faster copulation time. If you want to see what they look like, here’s a picture of a cat penis on a blog called Sand Walk. [8]

2. How the human lost his bone, er, baculum.

Another thing the human penis lost along the way — gosh, is it forgetful or what? — was its baculum, or penis bone. Some animals have what’s called an os penis, one containing a bone which keeps them rigid long enough to deliver sperm into the female’s reproductive tract. Most primates have one, but human males rely solely on blood pressure or hemodynamics for rigidity. Lauren Reid of Science Alert [9] writes that the baculum is usually stored in the animal’s abdomen until needed, when abdominal muscles push it out. One of its good qualities is speed: it’s more reliable than waiting for blood flow to work and allows for quick copulation.

In The Selfish Gene, [10] evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins describes the os penis as clearly being an easier way to maintain an erection. He theorizes that the reason we lost such a helpful trait is that hemodynamics allow females to better gauge male sexual health when choosing a partner. From diabetes to depression, there are numerous health factors that can cause erectile trouble and “females could glean all kinds of clues about a male’s health and the robustness of his ability to cope with stress, from the tone and bearing of his penis,” clues a bone would obfuscate because “anybody can grow a bone in the penis; you don’t have to be particularly healthy or tough.”

Another charming tidbit from Reid: “There is also a female version of the baculum in some species which has a rather lovely name – the “baubellum [11],” or “os clitoris.”

3. The adventurous penises of the argonauts.

So the human penis is strong, but not strong enough to run away and mate on its own, leaving the rest of the guy to relax and watch TV.

One animal that does have that ability is the argonaut octopus. Stefan Anitei writes on Softpedia [12] that in octopi, the third right arm of the male is the penis, which is detachable and is called the hectocotylus. The hectocotylus deposits sperm packets called spermatophores into the gills’ cavity of the female and will regenerate a new third arm next season.

Some human males will be jealous of the fact that the male argonaut doesn’t ever have to bother with any intimacy hooey. Some other octopi will at least get close — they recognize their partners by smell and touch. But the argonaut’s hectocotylus wanders off on its own when the spermatophores are formed and goes into the “mantle cavity to fecundate the eggs.”

Wow, just imagine how much more the argonaut can get done in a day! He can go to the bank, the post office and the liquor store all while helping perpetuate the speceis.

4. While you were sleeping.

The human penis may not be that much of a multitasker, but it does get some exercise while the rest of the body is busy with something else: sleeping.

One of the 8 Things You Didn’t Know About Your Penis [13] pointed out by Martin Downs on WebMD is that to keep it healthy you’ve got to use it, i.e., get erections. But if something is going on in your waking life that’s preventing that from happening, your penis has your back: it works out while you snooze. Doesn’t matter what they’re dreaming about; most men have 3-5 erections a night.

The technical name for these nightly weiner workouts is NPT — nocturnal penile tumescence — and they are one of the things a doctor might check if you’re concerned about erectile dysfunction [14]. Men who don’t get erections during waking hours will still get NPT; if they don’t, there may be a physical problem.

To add insult to difficulty, “Without regular erections, penile tissue can become less elastic and shrink, making the penis 1-2 centimeters shorter,” Downs writes.

Jeez, way to kick a guy when he’s down. It’s just like when the bank charges you a fee…because you don’t have enough money in your account. Either way you’re unfairly shortchanged.

5. What a drag.

If you want to help your penis help you, there’s something you might want to do: quit smoking.

Web M.D. Jeanie Lerche Davis reports [15] that a study of Chinese men found, among other things, that “Men who currently — and formerly — smoked were about 30% more likely to suffer from impotence.” Smoking and erectile dysfunction are both connected (individually) with plaque that builds up in the arteries: it restricts blood flow and potentially causes ED, among other problems. The habit could also be making your erections smaller.

Men’s Health reports in 8 Strategies for Stronger Erections [16] that “In addition to damaging blood vessels, smoking may cause damage to penile tissue itself, making it less elastic and preventing it from stretching,” says urologist Irwin Goldstein.

So where there’s smoke…there may not as much fire as you’d like.

6. Those amazing animals.

The variation nature has gone to the trouble of putting into the penises of the world is dizzying. And sometimes dwarfing.

Elephants are big (you learn something new every time we talk, don’t you?) and their penises are proportionately enormous to the point where if you click the link to this piece by science writer Ed Yong, [17] you’ll see how you could almost mistake this elephant’s schlong for a skinny leg. Yong says the elephant also swatted flies and scratched his belly with it. Elephant penises are referred to as “prehensile,” although it doesn’t say in the piece that he picked up anything with it…except, we suspect, a lucky lady elephant.

Here on National Geographic [18], Yong also shares the weirdness that is the alligator penis. This member is eternally erect, “ghostly white,” doesn’t inflate at all, which makes it highly unusual, is filled with layer upon layer of collagen (even where blood would normally flow) and, as Yong notes, must have scared the bejesus out of this researcher when one appeared to rise from this dead reptile.

Then there’s the cute little echidna, a prehistoric, egg-laying hedgehog-like mammal whose penis has four heads. Click on the second picture [19] and see how happy he looks (even though his name is Grumpy).

Lucy Cooke writes in Natinoal Geographic that, “The reason why the echidna’s penis has four heads is still up for grabs. The female echidna has two love canals and Stewart [Nicol, echidna researcher] believes that the penis works like a double double-barreled shotgun, firing out of the two heads on one side, and then again quite quickly on the other. Given the fact Mr. Echidna has no idea which side his lady’s egg will be released this might increase his chances of fertilization.”

And may be one reason why a species who walked with dinosaurs is still here to charm us with his ornate love machine.

7. Getting a big head.

So the elephant’s penis is big, but the human male’s is huge among primates. Correcting for overall body size, it’s twice as big as the chimp’s, which may be why they’re always screaming.

How do I know? The wonderful Jesse Bering said so and he studied ape social cognition. Jesse Bering also knows why the human penis evolved to be the shape it is, hence his book Why Is the Penis is Shaped Like That? And Other Reflections on Being Human [20]. This essay in Scientific American [21] is nearly verbatim from his book, which you must buy to be both entertained and the life and soul of cocktail parties from now til the end of the world.

At any rate, the strong, straight shaft, large glans or head and coronal ridge look the way they do for a reason, and the reason is probably semen delivery and displacement — delivery of one’s own and displacement of another male’s.

First let’s talk about length. Bering tells us that evolutionary psychologist Gordon Gallup and coauthor Rebecca Burch wrote a 2004 paper conjecturing that the lengths the penis can reach and the force of human ejaculate can delivery sperm into the uppermost part of the vagina and that a longer penis would be advantageous not only for reaching the vagina’s deeper recesses but to displace sperm that might have been left by another male. Interesting, especially since magnetic imaging of couples having sex is what tells us how the far the penis can go and how it expands inside the vagina.

But it gets way, way better.

The distinct arrow-like shape of the penis would be good for displacement, Gallup figured, because of the “upsuck,” (not kidding) caused by thrusting. If there was anyone else’s sperm in there, that ridge would effectively scoop it all out. To test this, Gallup and his researchers got some “prosthetic genitals from erotic novelty stores,” including a faux vagina and three faux penises, one with a coronal ridge extending .2 inches from the shaft, one extending out .12 inches and one with no glans at all, which was the control. They made a simulated semen solution of flour and water, put it inside the “vagina,” and the three dummy weiners were then inserted to see how much ersatz sperm they could displace.

Imagine going to the office that day. To anyone who thinks science is monotonous, I have two words: puh leeze.

Anyway, Gallup was right. The smoothie removed only 35.3 percent while the two with the wider coronal ridges removed 91 percent and the deeper they were inserted the more effective scoopers they were.

8. Gimmie some skin.

Everyone knows the human penis can be very giving, but who knew that generosity extended to the medical community? Foreskin, the retractable piece of skin that covers the penis (it’s also called the prepuce, a word that also refers to the skin covering the clitoris) has been used in a lab to grow artificial skin cells for burn victims. And if you’ve ever been impressed with a “grower” check out prepuce power:

“A piece of foreskin the size of a postage stamp can produce approximately 4 acres of skin tissue in the laboratory [source: Strange [22]],” writes Molly Edmonds of How Stuff Works [23]. The foreskins of circumcised infants are thought to work well in this way — better than donor skin — because the infant cells are not rejected by the adult body’s immune system. “If they did,” Edmonds writes, “mothers’ bodies would reject fetuses [source: Skloot [24]].” Discovery Channel [25] says that lab-grown skin is less likely to be rejected by a patient and also less likely to cause infection.

Foreskin tissue donated with parental consent to Germany’s “Skin Factory” at the Fraunhofer Institute in Stuttgart is used to grow artificial skin used for consumer product testing that “could someday replace animal testing,” writes Eric Pfieffer of Yahoo News. [26] Pfieffer quotes the German Herald as reporting that the cells are grown “on a layer of collagen and connective tissue.” Eventually they are injected “into a gel that causes them to grow into a sheet that simulates the epidermis. The layers are then fused together, creating a replica of natural human skin.”

Circumcision is definitely a controversial issue, but it’s kind of hard not to be for skin.

9. Something fishy.

To wrap things up, it’s fair to say that doing this story has certainly caused male genitals to be on my mind…but there’s one species of fish that wears his on his head.

The 2cm-long Phallostethus cuulong was discovered in Vietnam in 2009 by Koichi Shibukawa, a researcher from the Nagao Natural Environment Foundation [27] in Tokyo, writes New Scientist’s Michael Marshall [28]. The little fella doesn’t actually have a penis as we understand them, but has a “priapium, which faces backwards and looks like a muscular nozzle. It’s actually a modification of the fish’s pectoral and pelvic fins [29]” and the reproductive organs hang from his chin, a characteristic of all priapiumfish, named for Priapus [30], Greek god of many things including male reproductive power.

The priapiumfish may also be singular in this world of digital sharing in that no one has ever seen them mating. It’s thought, however, that the male keeps the female in place with two appendages, one that looks like a saw (the ctenactinium), the other like a rod, (toxactinium) which he holds on either side of her head while transferring sperm.

The priapium’s anus is on his head, too, in front of his ball chin.

By Liz Langley

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Why Sexual Restoration is Necessary?

It’s no longer a secret that feeling sexy is an important aspect to vibrant health. Women everywhere are starting to realize that we cannot always wait for the right moment or the perfect partner to get our sexy back.

The good news is that you don’t have to wait; you already have everything you need to begin an integrated body – mind – spirit practice to feel that warm hum of sexy energy flowing through your body. It is a new time for women; a time for open communication, sharing and renewed awareness about how we can stay happier, healthier and younger.

Yin Way Practices

I have been presenting and developing  Yin Way practices over the last twenty years because I have found feminine ways, ways that are both gentle and invigorating that work remarkably well for women’s health.

What makes the Yin Way Practices so unique is not that the methods are so different from yoga, or other forms of Qigong, in fact, they are all easy to do. I have created a system to  to blend the tranquil Yin meditative exercises together with vigorous, active Yang exercises in a balanced way. Most importantly, through the Breast, Vaginal and Ovarian exercises, we include sexual restoration exercises in our regular practice. Plus, of this is done in a way that nourishes women in an empowering, feminine way.

The Yin Way Practices includes methods my partner and I have gathered from various teachers, especially female teachers who embody the essence of feminine power, wisdom and grace.

Here is the method behind our body – mind – spirit integrated approach for women to get their sexy back.

Yin Yang Principles

“Feminine strength does not push or control, rather its power comes from compassionate wisdom and offers a perfect compliment to its Yang, masculine counterpart. Without Yin, or water, the Yang, or Fire, burns too hot and eventually extinguishes itself. Yes ladies, there is strength and beauty in being women. We are needed, and in turn, need a healthy connection to that which is our opposite to be truly balanced. No woman is an island, rather she is the water surrounding the island that permeates and nourishes all life. Let us endeavor to keep our energy clean and vital, together.”
Sarina Stone www.Taolady.com

What Does the Jade Egg Do?
The Jade Egg is a marvelous way to strengthen and control the Chi Muscle. It is easier to practice control of this muscle with an egg in the vagina since, as the egg moves, you can feel the direction in which the Chi Muscle moves more distinctly. Controlling this voluntary muscle means control of the many involuntary muscles in this area as well. Also, as you master the use of this muscle of the vagina and perineum, you simultaneously tone up the lower abdomen to prevent incontinence. Thus, your sexual energy greatly improves and as the flow of sexual hormones increases, it helps restore vaginal lubrication and reduces vaginal dryness.

Why Jade?
The Emperors of China have used Jade for centuries not only because it symbolized wealth, Jade is said to help the energy Chi of the body. The minerals contained in Jade are healing to the body and work well with the body’s Chi. That’s one of the reasons Chinese people love jade. It’s a natural smooth stone, and is compatible with the body. The characteristics of these stones help concentrate the feminine ‘Yin’, Essence of a woman.

The use of a stone or Jade Egg to strengthen the vagina is a practice that evolved in ancient China. Use of the Jade Egg is an introduction to ‘Vaginal Kung Fu’ which was once a secret, ancient Daoist sexual restoration and longevity practice to help women improve their sexual health.

The Jade Egg can be used with together with the Yin Way Breast Exercise. The Jade Egg is inserted during the Breast massage, which can greatly enhance your practice. It enhances your internal awareness of your body in an elegant and easy way. This is explained in our Yin Way Sexual Empowerment Bundle, which includes a Jade Egg, explanation of Jade Egg Exercises, and the Yin Way Breast Massage now available as a direct download.

When you purchase one of our Jade Eggs, you’ll receive detailed descriptions of my Yin Way Jade Egg Practices, instructions for the care and use of your Jade Egg, extra Jade Egg Exercises and the Yin Way Breast Exercise Introduction.

Each of our imported high quality Jade Eggs is unique. Each comes with a hole drilled near the top for easy insertion and removal.

Yin Way Jade Egg Practices for Sexual Vitality

We have chosen a medium sized Jade Egg because most women prefer this size for the exercises we recommend.

Benefits of the Yin Way Jade Egg Practices for Women
• Strengthens Your Pelvic Floor
• Invigorates Natural Flow of Essential Hormones
• Increases Your Libido
• Addresses Incontinence & Vaginal Dryness
• Rejuvenates Sexual Organs
• Prepares You for and Healing from Childbirth

Our Jade Eggs are sanitary with a drilled hole to ues with a string for easy insertion and removal.

History
The use of a stone or Jade Egg to strengthen the vagina is a practice that evolved in ancient China. As time went on, the secret of this practice remained in the Royal Palace and was taught only to the queen and concubines. Many who mastered the technique experienced  good health, remaining young and bountiful, with sexual organs in old age as tight and resilient as those of a young, unmarried lady. Some believe that the queen and concubines practiced the technique in order to please the king while making love. Originally, however the Jade Egg Exercise and Vaginal Weight Lifting were implemented for improving health, both physically and spiritually, since these exercises provide more power to the Chi (Pubo-coccygeus or PC muscle) Muscle to lift the sexual energy inward and upward where it will be transformed into higher spiritual energy. Today, similar exercises are known as “Kegel” exercises, but many do not include use the Jade Egg.

Preparation and Care: Threading the hole in the egg.

You can thread a string through the hole drilled through the top of the egg.

• This string can be used to remove the egg if it goes very high in the vaginal canal and you do not have the strength to push it out.
• It also is a safety measure whenever on the toilet. Make sure to wrap the ends of the string around your fingers to catch the egg in case it slips out.

Be sure to use a natural or non-menthol dental floss or other thin but strong thread to insert through the hole of your egg. Create a firm string which hangs down about 2 feet. Fold the thread in half and guide the fold through the hole, and thread the two ends through the loop creating a slip knot, avoid tying a regular knot.

First Time Use
• Sanitize the egg by placing boiled water over the egg, never place the egg in boiling water.
• Add hypo-allergenic soap to clean the egg. Do not use alcohol or vinegar Some women are allergic to certain chemicals that are found in soap and detergent, especially when inserted into the channel where the membranes are very sensitive.
• Rinse with warm water before and after insertion.

Maintenance
• After removal, egg may be kept in cup with water.
• Before insertion, heat with warm water poured onto the Jade Egg.
• Replace thread/ dental floss after each use.

Insertion
The first time you use the egg, you will probably want to, and should, exercise all precaution until you become accustomed to it. You may wish to use a lubricant. We recommend Sylk Premium Lubricant because you want to choose a natural water-based brand rather than one that contains petroleum, silicones or parabens.

Always insert the wider end of the egg first, so smaller side with string is towards the front of the vagina.

Gently push egg up as far as comfortable inside your vaginal canal.

The cervix represents the back limit of the vagina; the egg is designed not to enter the cervix.

Removal of Egg
Gently pull string to remove egg. (If you don’t have the string in, squeezing the muscles the way you would to have a bowel movement will expel the egg.)
*In the beginning make sure not to practice on a cement floor so that if the egg drops out, it will not break.

P.S. Laughing, sneezing, or coughing can sometimes cause the egg to blast out of the vagina quite unexpectedly! Remember to smile often throughout all these practices. There is no need to use hard muscle contractions. Do not squeeze the anus during any of these exercises Discontinue immediately if you feel any discomfort. Consult licensed medical professional if you feel any adverse effects.

Yin Way Jade Egg Exercises

There are many different approaches to Jade Egg exercises. Presented are basic practices for the busy woman.

Yin Way Jade Egg Feminine Restoration Practices

When I introduce women to using a Jade egg I have them begin with what I call a ‘Dream Time’ Practice. First you insert the egg into your vagina before going to sleep. Lying down, gently contract your vaginal muscles about 9 times for  for 3 sets. Sleep with the Jade Egg inside you for the entire night and remove it in the morning. Practice this for at least seven days to start. You may continue this practice as long as you like. It’s a soothing practice that will gently stimulate your internal awareness and strengthen your muscles. This in turn will lead to increased lubrication and more pleasurable sex.

Here’s another Daytime Practice
Insert your Jade Egg into your vagina in the morning and try to keep it inside you as long as you can during the day. It’s interesting, you will quickly forget about it, but try to remember that it is inside you throughout your day. Then Practice gentle squeezes from time to time. It’s much more fun to do this with a Jade Egg inside. Try smiling when you pulse this way.

Gently stimulating your internal awareness like this often makes you feel slightly turned on, which in turn increases secretions, which in turn makes you feel sexier.

Additional Yin Way Practices
In addition to these two Jade Egg practices, we offer specific easy-to-do exercises in our Feminine Spring and Yin Way Women’s Courses. Practices consist of combined breathing, meditation and muscular exercises to further tone the pelvic floor. These practices help increase your muscle control and lubrication. They also increase your internal sensations and thus help stimulate your libido in natural ways.

All of the Yin Way Jade Egg Practices demonstrated in our instructional sexual restoration courses consist of methods to increase the production of natural hormones.

• Benefits: gently stimulates internal awareness, increases secretions, and improves muscle control. These practices are designed gently and naturally to nourish your body, mind and spirit.

p.s. Remember to smile often throughout all these practices.
• There is no need to use hard muscle contractions.
• Do not squeeze the anus during any of these exercises
• Discontinue immediately if you feel any discomfort.
• Consult licensed medical professional if you feel any adverse effects.

We have a new shipment of gorgeous Jade Eggs from Thailand!

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Female Breasts that is. Last I checked, every female has them. But we can only do certain things with them, one of them being we must hide them in public. We are allowed to tease, with partial peeks around the edges, but not the tips, or the nipples. Really, nipples must be tucked away from view.

If you’ve ever gone to a place where every one is naked, in about ten minutes, everyone stops looking. So the argument that baring breasts causes too much arousal, (similar to what some Muslims fear) is just not true. In reality, it’s the hiding, the partially revealing that’s far more arousing than letting them just hang out. I noticed our strange customs around breasts when I created this video, Beautiful Breasts, which is banned from You Tube, I guess from showing those nipples. I made it to celebrate the beauty of our breasts. But most importantly I wanted to give women a way to connect lovingly with their own breasts.

Certain breasts are okay, I’ve seen many films showing bare breasted indigenous women. Guess that’s okay, because? But showing western women enjoying their breasts, or for the purpose of healing? Still way too much for you tube. Perhaps demystifying breasts may influence too many women away from surgeries to augment them. Given the fact that so many women are suffering from breast cancer, and almost everyone I know knows several women who have had serious issues with their breasts, isn’t it time to flood our media with empowering images? Could it be that mainstream’s phobia about showing breasts, combined with our obsessive fascination may be contributing to the shame women feel about their bodies?

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What makes for stellar success is a personal thing, but my recent visit with Jaiya, a successful sex educator, shows how doing what we like in bed may be just what we need to succeed. While being filmed for her VH1 special on somatic (hands on) sexology, we got a private peek into how she delights in using her sexiness for success, and her success to stay sexy – and why we shouldn’t settle for subpar in either.

Busting Myth #1: You have to Sell Out to Succeed

Have you ever noticed how things speed up when you’re feeling successful? You seem to do much more in less time, you have to say ‘no’ to things you could once say ‘yes’ to, and you don’t have as much time to hang out. To others it may seem as if you’ve sold out. The speed of things focuses your mission, challenges you to be excellent and makes you select where you place every precious ounce of attention (and where not to.) If you relax inside, you can handle the ‘swish’.  It’s exhilarating. The faster things happen, the more of a magnet you become for more connections. Now, take this same principle, and apply it to your private erotic life. Riding the sublime comes down to: just doing it creates the desire and energy for more.

Busting Myth #2: It’s Who You Know

It’s not who you know, it’s what you do with who you know. Success is contagious, as the happier and more generous you are, the more fun you are to be with and thus the more opportunities land in your lap. Since success tends to make you feel wanted, you become someone people want to be near. That is, if you are actually enjoying your self inside the buzz. Now take this into your personal erotic life. When you are generous, even inside the whirlwind of busyness, taking each conversation to heart, appreciating anyone near you, you are multipling pleasure. This is the alluring energy behind success, and it works in bed too. If you’re tense while doing the never-ending stream of whatever you’re doing, or you are not content with what (or who) is sitting next to you, success will always be just out of reach. It’s not only who can help you succeed, it’s who’s around to share it with.

Busting Myth #3  It Takes Money to Make Money

This myth is about the idea that you have to have money to make it, or erotically, you have to have a partner to have sex. While it’s true, sex is always better with a warm body, the trick to both money and sex, is having some. In Jennifer Goldberg’s article, Why you Need Good Sex, she says, ‘Seeking out—and having— good sex is a self-perpetuating cycle. The neurotransmitter dopamine—which “focuses your attention on something you really want to go after,” (explains Dr. Pfaus)¹—gives us the confidence to approach mates we think will provide the most pleasure, while good sex releases opioids, which further stoke the fire.’

Busting Myth # 4  Pain = Gain

The myth that successful people are too driven by ambition to enjoy anything (and there are plenty of examples) comes from the idea that it takes self – sacrifice and suffering to end suffering. But pain loops may not only deplete your reserve of dopamine, if you don’t have it right along the way, it wont will be much fun when you ‘get there’. Another option is to operate on a pleasure loop for success. It’s not a selfish grasp for pleasure, or a perpetual craving for what’s missing, it’s a loop where you derive pleasure by giving something of value to others while having a blast along the way too. It’s the tease of anticipation, savoring every nibble and squeeze while feeling delight in another’s joy that’s the stuff of success. When it starts happening in the boardroom as smoothly as it does in the bedroom, as I experienced being with Jaiya, you know you’re onto something good.

What’s success? Feeling grateful for being alive is success; the rest is relative.

In beauty, © Amara Charles

Quehestemehah ‘You dance in my heart’

Amara Charles’ Best – Selling Book ‘The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka’ featuring the Sexual Anatomy Types as Seen on VH1 is available on www.amaracharles.com or Amazon.com

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Amara wrote:
Dear Jane,

You have been on my mind all day. Perhaps I made this video for you. I know many women do not love their bodies or their breasts. This is why I made the video, I made it for women like you and me, who must learn to love our bodies.

When I was a young girl. I fell in love with my camp counselor and I used to love letting my eyes linger and stare at his skin when he wasn’t looking. I loved every pore of his face, and I was fascinated by the deep grooves, crevices, lines and marks that sprawled across his cheeks, and nose. I used to study and remember every indentation, and I remember ( this was 40 years ago!) I absolutely adored the marks on his face as if they were the signatures or calligraphy of a fine painting.

Then, a few years later I saw him again. The glow of summer camp had faded long ago. I zoomed into his face as I did as a girl, but now as a young woman, my brain registered wrinkles, and deep pockmarks! The very things I loved stroking my eyes over he must have hated or thought odd. Such are the eyes of an innocent girl.

This is exactly why I made the Beautiful Breast video, because it is the way we use our eyes that matters; especially the way we see ourselves. We can look at our bodies, or others with love and we will see beauty. Or we can look with muddy eyes, cruel eyes, and eyes full of judgement. Then what we see becomes ugly.

Your Breasts Are Beautiful

A favorite poem by Hafiz goes something like this
CHANGE
What is it you would change?
Your face?
Your eyes?
(Your Breasts)
Why would you change these things?
For if you change
Your face
Your eyes
(Your breasts)
God might might not recognize you.

I know few of us have breasts like the ones in these pictures. You see, it’s not really important to change the lines or shape of things, for that is not where beauty is.
Love is the only thing that can change the shape of things, for love is a feeling. It’s a vibration that creates the shape of what we see.

So you must not approach your body or your self with the idea that you must change anything, because nothing is wrong.

Now, this being said, I know that seeing ourselves with muddy eyes is not an easy thing to let go of. I know we want to feel and be seen as beautiful. But trust me, this must first come from inside you. You must find different eyes to see yourself.

Beauty is a vibration of love. It’s first a feeling of self acceptance, saying to your self, ‘okay, I am what I am.’

When you do this, if you can you look at your self with kinder eyes for a just a moment something curious cam happen. Try to see, try to look at your breasts before your mind has a chance to sink a dark arrow into what you see.  You can suspend those dark arrows of judgement against yourself by having a little bit of awareness.

You need to pause first and look at what you see without thinking. You will notice your self looking at your breasts. This is the secret to turning your eyes inwards, to turning the darkness of not liking yourself into a moment of directly seeing what is really so. These tiny pauses of awareness turn into light arrows of self acceptance.  As you do this again and again your inner eyes meet your outer eyes, and they become kinder and kinder until your gaze for yourself turns into a warm fire of self love.

I cannot promise you will get rid of every line and groove, but I can say if you love yourself again and again your eyes will change, and your body will feel different.

This is the secret of beauty, because if you do this for long enough, the shape of your body will shimmer with beauty. Beauty is a vibration that when you feel it, it can be seen by others. This is really why I created the Yin Way video, so you could create this vibration of love inside you.

I know many women do not feel their breasts are beautiful. I do not have the breasts of a model, but I love them. I had to be told many times by my lover that my breasts are beautiful. I couldn’t hear those words, especially about my breasts, for a long time. But gradually, I began to feel this love, curling inside me like a wisp of smoke. I knew I had to do this often, to practice loving myself, caressing myself with this nourishing love until I could feel love sinking into my skin and my mind. Maybe some are born with this kind of love or beauty, and it’s easier for them to feel. But maybe some of us have to grow and tend to our bodies like a garden in need of water and sun. This is why I also believe that breasts need to be nibbled and licked, and stroked until we can get used to this vibration and know that it is good.

You are beautiful Jane.

In beauty,
Amara

Yin Way Breast Exercise. Now available.

p.s. with your permission, I’d like to post this so others can begin to feel this vibration of love inside themselves.
May I?

Jane wrote:

Dear Amara

Thank you for your reply.  I’m thinking a lot about what you’ve written and I appreciate it.

Yes, please share with others whatever you wish.  What you wrote is beautiful.

Thanks again -

Jane

Yin Way Breast Exercise

for beautiful breasts that shimmer with love from the inside out.

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I  did the breast excersises  daily .  I looked in the mirror daily and saw  changes, I  felt the connection between my pussy  and breast. Stay tuned for more ..

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Hello Lovely Goddesses!
I am loving the Yin Breast Restoration Restoration exercises. Thank you for bringing this to us. I have questions. Can you direct me to a site or tell me on a physiological level, why these are beneficial. Also, what about women with cancer history (not necessarily active stage), fibroids, suspicious spots or lumps, etc? And what about active stage?
Blessings
Rosa

Hi Rosa,
Thank you for your kind words and inquiry.

This is such a huge topic! There is a lot of great clinical research on the benefits of Qi Gong-(you could say this Yin Way Exercise is Qi Gong for the breasts).

Yin Way Breast Exercise. Now available.

I am gathering resources for you and will be sending more information soon. Promise.

Amara

FROM ROSA

Hooray! I have been doing the exercises every night before bed for 3 weeks now. I wish I’d taken a ‘before’ photo because I believe my breast have changed…developing some fullness on top as opposed to the flatness they’ve had. And to think, I’d been counting the days until I could afford a breast life procedure. I Love You!!!

From: Amara Charles [mailto:amaracharles123@gmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, January 22, 2013 11:00 AM
To: Susan Oake; Rosa Casas
Subject: Re: Yin Way Exercises

FROM AMARA

ps.

You Tube may have removed my video, but there’s no stopping beauty. You can still see the intro Beautiful Breasts Video Poem on Vimeo

Beautiful Breasts from Amara Charles on Vimeo.

Amara Charles presents a video poem inspiring women to love their beautiful breasts. An inspirational video, this is the introduction to her new release of the Yin Way Breast Exercises for sexual restoration. By practicing this self love, self massage exercise, women can love them selves and love their breasts. The full exercise is available @ www.amaracharles.com

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