Welcome To Amara’s Blog

Welcome to the Amara Charles blog. This area of the website is my personal playground of creativity, expression and thoughts. It’s where you can learn more about me and what I do. These are the topics and experiences that are most special to me. I hope what’s here will inspire you with passion and hope for the future.

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When Everything Changes

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Some journeys change everything.

Words capture so little of the truth about extraordinary events, and to be honest, I hesitate to dilute how I feel from our retreat in a mountain Temple of Wutai Shan,China. Yes, I’m used to coming home stirred and happily out-of-sorts from deep ceremony, but this time, having taken a plunge into the refuge of temples, sacred chants and boundless tea, I feel like a puzzle piece still assembling unknown mysteries..

How do you capture the fragrance and unfurling plume of fine sandalwood incense, or the taste of rare puer tea that causes your heart to float in heavenly realms? How can you remember being locked into the fathomless depth of a teacher’s eyes? Perhaps we do keep memory imprints of such times, and maybe we bury moments of peace and love into the soil of our minds so we can recognize certain vibrations and water these frequencies until they bloom on their own again and again.

There’s such a jumble of feelings: sad and jolted from leaving those holy mountains, afraid I may not remember the timbre of Shifu’s voice, inexplicably upset about not understanding so many things, missing the warm yak morning tea, wondering if I’ll forget everything (my teacher Angela would say ‘Good!’), and somehow astonished and thoroughly grateful that we were blessed to have such an opportunity in this lifetime. Really, I feel like an ant that was brushed briefly with magic dust that’s designed to rub off on the journey home.

So I’m sharing this in the hope that as I write I’ll remember even more from the stream of precious teachings that came from this adventure.

In the first days of our trip, our Tibetan Shifu* said, ‘Cherish every moment you are here. Push your self more and you will go further. ’  And so I did.

It is said* that Wen Shu Buddha actually visited these mountains, and to this day, from the feel of the place, makes regular appearances. The story, as it was told to me, is that Wenshu Buddha came to Mount Wutai in the form of a poor old woman with a dog. At a charity gathering she asked for food form a wealthy gentleman, but after she was given bread she asked for more. The businessman balked, saying ‘I gave you enough, why do you ask for more?’  The old lady said, ‘You must give me more, for I am with child.’ And then she cut off a lock of her hair, her dog turned into a lion and they ascended into the sky to form the four sacred peaks of Wutai Shan.

We stayed in a small village where versions of OM MANI PADME HUM play from shops along the stone streets day and night, and where monks clad in grey, brown or maroon robes are as common as jeans in America.  At least we didn’t feel strange twirling a string of mala beads walking through the town. At the same time, being the only blond, blue-eyed women, it was hard to go far before being asked to pose in someone’s I phone photo.

On one of our walks Angela Yan says ‘American students are the best to bring here because they’re an empty canvass, they don’t have as many concepts to undo.’ Indeed, this retreat was happily devoid of too many concepts; it was about letting go, refraining from asking and analyzing. It was about being open, feeling more and continuously experiencing what was occurring.

In the first couple of days I tried using my brain and my mouth in it’s typical way, but I soon gave up as most of my questions were either ignored or answered with a kind of story that prevents the mind from even remembering the question. Even this was a teaching, as it seems, good questions are occasionaly rewarded with tales you must let simmer in your mind to reap their meaning. Sifu said his teachers told these kinds of stories all the time when he was very young, and this morning they came rolling out over laughter and many hours of tea. The conversation was of course in Chinese, and this is the translation as I remember it:

A master told his student to ‘watch the door’ after he left for the day. So the student faithfully watched the door all day long as robbers came and left removing every single thing from the master’s house. When the master returned upset that everything was gone, he asked the student what happened. The student says, I never took my eyes off the door. I watched these men come and go all day long.

An owner told the shepherd to watch the sheep because the wolf will eat the sheep. When the owner returned all the sheep were gone and asks ‘what happened?’. Of course the shepherd says, ‘I watched the wolf eat all the sheep.’

Who is wrong? The owner is wrong. ‘you have to watch what you say.’

Angela says ‘when something happens. Open. Feel it. Keep it. When language comes, it’s gone.’

A master gives a monk one piece of bread. The monk eats half. The master comes back and says ‘where’s the other half?’

The monk picks up the bread and says ‘here it is.”

The master says ‘where’s the other half?’

The monk picks up the bread and says again, ‘here, here is the other half.”

Angela says, ‘Why is the monk tricky? Because the master has not asked the right question.’

Another day, in the private room of another Shifu, noticing that each of the monks we met seemed to specialize in certain things such as calligraphy, healing, or empowering statues, I asked, ‘what do you specialize in?’ He grinned wide and said ‘chanting!’ It was yet another teaching, as all the monks chant all day long. And he added, ‘I wish to become Buddha.”.’

I will never know how much is simply lost in translation. May times during the retreat I felt entirely stupid as I could neither understand nor add to any conversation. After I let my frustration go I figured it was probably better this way. We got to watch stunning gestures of calm beauty, listen to pure laughter, and look into kind eyes. This is enough.

As I return to my life, where I like everyone else must attend to all manner of things, I wonder how I will ever be able to operate in such a relaxed, spontaneous and open way. Hopefully, the memory of this presious time and certain practices will gradually sink in until we are able to return one day.

When remarkable experiences change everything, sometimes it’s impossible to return. And for now, that’s quite fine.

In beauty

Amara Charles

www.amaracharles.com

*The word *Shifu is one of about five words in Chinese I know. But I was surprised when a woman on our way back to Beijing kept calling the bus driver ‘Sifu’ as he was smoking, talking on the phone and making seemingly arbitrary stops the whole way back. Apparently, ‘Sifu’ not only means a spiritual teacher and master, the title is also used to respect someone who has ‘mastered’ a trade, such as bus driving.

 * From Wiki: Sifu (Cantonese Chinese) or shifu (Mandarin Chinese) is an accomplished teacher who oversees apprentices in certain traditions and philosophies.

It is written with the Chinese characters: 師傅 and 師父. The character 師 means “teacher”, while the meaning of 傅 is “tutor” and the meaning of 父 is “father”. Both characters are read fu with the same tones in Cantonese and Mandarin, creating some ambiguity. A similar term often used in Chinese is 老師 (Cantonese Chinese pronunciation: lou5 si1; Mandarin Chinese pronunciation: lǎoshī), meaning “teacher”.

Though pronounced identically and bearing similar meanings, the two terms are distinct and usage is different. The former term (師傅) bears only the meaning of “master”, and is used to express the speaker’s general respect for the addressee’s skills and experience. Thus, for example, a customer may address a motor mechanic as such. The latter term (師父) bears the dual meaning of “master” and “father”, and thus connotes a linearity in a teacher-student relationship. As such, when addressing a tradesperson, it would only be used to address the speaker’s own teacher or master. In the preceding example, the motor mechanic’s apprentice would address his or her master as such, but the customer would not. On the other hand, a religious personality, and by extension, experts of Chinese martial arts, can be addressed as “master-father” (師父) in all contexts.

Where there’s Heart There’s A Way

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Our amazing journey continues!
Feeling fresh and and full from our visit to Hamburg and Croatia (stopping in Istambul for for a massage (we hope!).
Our D Y E N and Feminine Erotic Intelligence Workshops were stellar. The the depth, the food, the land… fantastic. Most of all it’s the people we’re so moved by… such a deep transfer of feelings, wisdom and laughter… Yes, there’s been hesitation and a reluctance to open, at first. A

I am learning that where there is heart, there is a way. Maybe the way will be steep and dark. Maybe it will be too bright to see. Maybe there will be valleys of fear and despair, places where the wounds of the heart are barely ready to peek out from underneath comfy blankets of protection.

But it’s these touchy, fragile and almost too delicate to touch places of the heart, places inside that have been broken almost too many times to repair; these are my favorite places to go. It’s the stories we seldom reveal, lurking underneath culture, underneath social expectations, underneath language, our families and yes Croatia :-) , underneath our clothes – this is where we discover our natural selves.

When we dare to travel to these dark and dangerous places, and risk staying in the most uncomfortable places dwelling in our hearts, those places we avoid and that get pushed into the most remote corners of our daily lives, something magical happens. Healing happens here. And great compassion and deep forgiveness. These are the rewards that come to those brave enough to have a good long look, to those risk sharing deep feeling. It’s raw. It’s vulnerable, it’s unpredictable, ah, but in the end, when we dare to touch the one heart we all carry inside, there is only room for only sweet happiness.

, and we are still digesting, integrating…

Then it’s off to revisit our beloved teacher Angela Yan in Wu Tai Shan, China. We will be offline, chanting or having tea.

This is from our last trip to this place where there are 108 temples, lots of tea, and mostly treasures.

Om mani padme Hum.

In beauty, Amara and Shyena

Getting Our Sexy Back – Jade Eggs

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Jade Egg for Sexual Restoration

Why Sexual Restoration is Necessary?

It’s no longer a secret that feeling sexy is an important aspect to vibrant health. Women everywhere are starting to realize that we cannot always wait for the right moment or the perfect partner to get our sexy back.

The good news is that you don’t have to wait; you already have everything you need to begin an integrated body – mind – spirit practice to feel that warm hum of sexy energy flowing through your body. It is a new time for women; a time for open communication, sharing and renewed awareness about how we can stay happier, healthier and younger.

Yin Way Practices

I have been presenting and developing Yin Way practices over the last twenty years because I have found feminine ways, ways that are both gentle and invigorating that work remarkably well for women’s health.

What makes the Yin Way Practices so unique is not that the methods are so different from yoga, or other forms of Qigong, in fact, they are all easy to do. I have created a system to to blend the tranquil Yin meditative exercises together with vigorous, active Yang exercises in a balanced way. Most importantly, through the Breast, Vaginal and Ovarian exercises, we include sexual restoration exercises in our regular practice. Plus, of this is done in a way that nourishes women in an empowering, feminine way.

The Yin Way Practices includes methods my partner and I have gathered from various teachers, especially female teachers who embody the essence of feminine power, wisdom and grace.

Here is the method behind our body – mind – spirit integrated approach for women to get their sexy back.

Yin Yang Principles

“Feminine strength does not push or control, rather its power comes from compassionate wisdom and offers a perfect compliment to its Yang, masculine counterpart. Without Yin, or water, the Yang, or Fire, burns too hot and eventually extinguishes itself. Yes ladies, there is strength and beauty in being women. We are needed, and in turn, need a healthy connection to that which is our opposite to be truly balanced. No woman is an island, rather she is the water surrounding the island that permeates and nourishes all life. Let us endeavor to keep our energy clean and vital, together.”
Sarina Stone www.Taolady.com

What Does the Jade Egg Do?
The Jade Egg is a marvelous way to strengthen and control More …

Sexual Agreements in Action

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Scars and Tears

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Scars and Tears Claraderm Spray

by Catherine Works

The best product that I have used post birth is Young Living’s Claraderm spray. It’s a blend of, Myrrh, Frankincense, Tea Tree, Lavender, Roman Chamomile, Helichrysum in a coconut oil base. It is incredible for skin rejuvenation, especially for healing scars and tears. I used it straight on the stitches on the perineum post birth.

I used it 5-6 times per day and gently massaged it in (basically every time I went to the bathroom I sprayed it on). I went through several bottles of this in the first 2 months after birth. It’s not cheep, but its worth every penny. My scar has healed quickly, no residual pain on the scar, or the skin surrounding, and has impressed the practitioners at my checkups!

Hemorrhoids

No one talks about them, but most women get them. The pressure of pushing a baby out can cause a strain in the rectal area and which causes swelling of the tissue, and even bleeding when you pass solids. They are super painful (for me it was even worse than giving birth every time you poop).
My solutions are: Sitz bath, (the hospital should give you one, or you can buy one at the pharmacy) you can add warm water and Epsom salts.

You can add a drop of essential oil to the salt before you put it in the sitz bath (any of the oils from the below blend). Its best to sit in it for 10 mins several times per day.
I found that a bit painful as I was split from top to toe and had a lot of stitches and the sitting stretched the skin a lot. More …

How to Use Oregano Oil to Ward Off Colds

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Spice up your life with the Power of Oregano Oil

By Marguritte Mullens

Video with Leela Sullivan

Many healthy food choices are available, but few are healthier than the spice of oregano. Fresh or dried oregano contains many immune boosting qualities, but oregano essential oil is far more concentrated. I have often used oregano essential oil to ward off illness. It’s strong, and sure does work. I have many happy clients who purchased oregano and have never once given a poor review. Even my uncle who is a skeptic of this kind of “snake medicine” loves oregano. Once you try it, you will be convinced of its abilities.

Oregano Can Kill Infections

Oregano is one of the most powerful antimicrobial essential oils. Laboratory research done in 2001 at Weber State University in Ogden, Utah, showed oregano to have a 99 percent kill rate against streptococcus pneumoniae in vitro colonies, a microorganism responsible for many kinds of lung and throat infections. Oregano is also very high in carvacrol, a potent anti-inflammatory. High in DNA repair activity, oregano provides antioxidant protection as it cleans the body of pathogens.

I mainly use oregano when I am feeling run down and on the verge of getting sick. Also, if others around me are sick, I will often go home and take a capsule with a couple drops of oregano just to be safe. Oregano also works well when applied to inflamed or possibly infected areas. I have used it on swollen tonsils and glands to help heal the infection. More …

A Blessing in Disguise – Dr. Robyn Benson

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While traveling in New Mexico, Shyena gave me a treat on my birthday to stay at Ten Thousand Waves Japanese Health Spa in Sante Fe. The night before, I got terribly sick with that awful bug and could barely get out of bed. I really wanted to enjoy my gift, so when my friend Louise Kockler recommended I get a Myer’s cocktail, I did the unimaginable (to me) and agreed to get this shot.

Truly, it was a blessing in disguise, not only did I enjoy the spa a day later,  I met an extraordinary women – Dr. Robyn Benson. I had such an remarkable recovery I just had to write her:

Dr. Robyn Benson, I am writing to thank you for the treatment the other day. The whole experience of seeing you was remarkably friendly and warm. Just what a healing center should be! I’ve been to many such places, and I have to say, your hearts and kindness comes soaring through. As a ‘stranger’ coming from out of town, and then not feeling very well at all, I couldn’t really express my gratitude to you. Thank you for introducing me to something new and a bit ‘scary’ – the Myers Cocktail- with great care and finesse. I feel fantastic. I have to say I have never recovered so quickly, and now, days later I feel remarkably well. — Amara Charles

Needless to say, I loved Robyn’s brilliant and loving approach to healing.

But that’s not all.

I found out she’s a world renown Holistic Healing Expert.

And, she invited me to be part of her Self Care Revolution in July!

You can join the Self Care Revolution for free too.

More …

The Ten Reflections of Love

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This presentation of The Ten Reflections of Love was given by Amara Charles as she helped facilitate an alternative wedding for friends Steve and Karen.

Rarely shared outside the Quodoushka workshop, The Ten Reflections of Love was inspired by Thunderstrikes, pioneer of the amazing Quodoushka Teachings.

The teaching is an uplifting presentation of ten different reflections, ten different ways the people we attract reflect love to us. It explains how certain friends stir (and sometimes provoke) very different qualities in us, and it shows what we might want to look for before choosing a lover…

Watch it to see the ‘wheel’ of friends you have collected in your life and how you can cherish them all for what they reflect to you.

p.s.  wow, thanks to Steve and Karen for filming this!

In beauty, Amara

The Thirty Day Erotic Challenge

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The Thirty Day Erotic Challenge – Online Guide to Enhance Your Erotic Pleasure and Prosperity

I am thrilled to announce the Thirty Day Erotic Challenge is now available for your at home pleasure.

  • This 64 page Illustrated Digital E Manual includes daily instructions, inspirations and stories to supply you with thirty days of fascinating ways to enhance your erotic health and happiness.
  • * Plus you get the bonus S.M.A.R.T. Goals PDF to boost your ability to harness your sexual energy to manifest your dreams.
  • The Original Erotic Intelligence Online Program sells for $49.95 – But I’m giving a special introductory price for the next 30 days…
  • MY CHALLENGE TO YOU: Send me your start and finish date, along with comments of your experience of your Thirty Day Erotic Challenge and I’ll send you a 2oz Bottle of Sylk Natural Personal Lubricant.

What is The Thirty Day Erotic Challenge?
It’s a treasure trove of daily erotic teachings and suggestions to lift your your erotic health and happiness to a whole new level. It’s designed to inspire you for thirty days whether you have a partner or you’re looking for one.
It starts out gently, giving you guidelines on what to pay attention to during each day. It then builds gradually to include more fun and fascinating ways to bring delight and passion into your life. More …

Lemon Essential Oil – Your Secret Weapon for Sensuous Health

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Because I believe feeling healthy is quite sexy, I’ve invited Margurite, who’s  as passionate about health and well being as I am. to contribute to my site.  I’ve been using (and absolutely loving!) Young Living Essential Oils for over twenty years. This new series will keep you up-to-date on some of the best essential oils on the planet.  – Amara

Lemon Essential Oil—Your Secret Weapon to Sensuous Health

by Margurite Mullins
Most likely sitting in your kitchen right now are answers to a multitude of health problems ranging from poor memory and immune disorders to fibroids and  tumors.  Some amazing answers come from lemons! You may use them to refresh drinks or add flavor to cooking, but you may not know this common fruit has little-known health properties as well. More …

Five Things Women Do in the Presence of an Alpha Male

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The Alpha Male

As fascinating as the topic of the Instinctive Design of Erotic Attention* was really, it’s the bronco ride of co-creating with an alpha male that lifts my skirt these days.

My recent collaboration inspires me to reflect on the five things women tend to do when we’re with an alpha male. But first, I suppose, we should ask, What are the signs you’ve got an alpha male on your hands?

He’s Unpredictable. Check. Powerfully assertive yet yielding at the right moments. Check. He’s an unabashed, indomitable and at times he’s an unstoppable leader. Yet, as strong as he appears, a superior alpha male bows gracefully to feminine intelligence whenever she shows a face wiser than his own. Double  Check.

The five things we tend to do are run, put him above us, contend, control or cultivate and then ride on the curves of his magic. Any of these options may be correct depending on the man and the time. The approaches you choose will either take you into tangled webs of disappointment or they will intensify the quality of happiness in your intimate relations with men.

Running

Although the option of running may seem weak, if you sense an alpha male is using his seductive charms to get something you do not wish to give, running away could be an act of power.  But how many of us, intrigued by an alpha male’s charm, stay longer than we know is right?

To reflect on the reasons why, consider this: cajoling you into giving something that you actually desire, but are afraid to give can be quite alluring. An alpha male must become good at hunting for the hidden needs of a woman; predators take advantage of them.

More …

Five Ways To Spot An Alpha Male

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Alpha Male

A beta male knows nothing higher than himself; but an alpha male instantly recognizes genius. 

I’ve had more comments from Five Things Women do in the Presence of an Alpha Male than any article I’ve written so far. Maybe having ‘What is an Alpha man?‘ on my mind turned me into some kind of magnet for them because for the last few weeks I’ve been quite dazzled by the alpha men who keep popping up around me.  

Yesterday, at my favorite coffee shop a man who always wants to know what I’m writing asked, ‘What do you think is Alpha?’… I suppose he has to show you, he sort of has to prove he’s better than other guys.’   

‘Yes. Maybe it’s true.’ I said, but as I explained that it’s all in the way he proves himself, he interrupted me with his real question: ‘Am I an Alpha man?’ More …

Hilarious, Sexy Interview with Crickette & Amara Charles

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What a hoot!   I was as just on Chatterbox radio for a hilarious interview. I’m on about 20 minutes into the show….  Have a listen. Crickette is a riot.

Crickette Radio Show

 

A Simple Love Habit that Works

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Yesterday I spoke with a couple having intimacy issues.
They were eager to give me the list of wasn’t working.
‘The first thing’ I said ‘you must to drop the habit of beginning with
the past.’

You will never feel like being intimate
by constantly bringing up what has not worked.
Constant criticism defeats desire. I suggested they spend
the week sharing as many sweet memories as they could.

When I get hooked into the habit of bringing up disappointing things, I first have to notice that I am doing this. When we are asleep to how our unkind words put out the fire of our passion we keep going down this futile tunnel.

The only juice you get from trying to correct your lover by pointing out what went wrong the last time is being ‘right’. Even if you manage to score a point with even tiny insults,   you are going to feel alone. We certainly know that insulting our lover is a dead end, but sometimes that perverse habit of criticizing wins the moment, and we say unkind things. Our ego is seems to win the battle, but our hearts always suffer.

It may sound trite to say as many kind things as you can to your lover, but in the realm of intimacy, it’s particularly true. We can retrain our minds to consciously speak of times when things worked well. Make it a habit to recall excellence, beauty and tenderness. Deliberately share victories with your beloved throughout your day. It’s simple, and it works. You just have to do it often enough to put your brain in the proper state of mind to be more loving and kind to each other.

Make it a point to share several beautiful memories and see what happens in the bedroom. I hope you’re pleasantly surprised what flows naturally from your hearts.

Because Beauty is a Living State of Love.

In beauty

Amara

How Did You Know I Wanted This?

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I believe happiness in our intimate relations can change the world.  Our feminine and masculine essence is absolutely precious; and when we can give this freely, without any expectation of return, it is the most valuable substance on earth.

How we give our most sacred, most special essence is a matter of practicing the skill of what the Buddhists call ‘Exchanging Your Self for Others’.

We tend to think our most intimate expressions happen under the sheets wrapped in the arms of a lover. Yet, the secret to having more of these moments, if this is what you want, is by practicing Benevolent Compassion.

Exchanging Your Self for Others is an active practice of Benevolent Compassion. It’s a matter of learning to observe by watching, asking questions to find out, noticing reactions, and constantly listening for clues about what someone likes. You will begin to see that the most revealing clues about what we really like come out unconsciously. More …