Intimate Moments

provocative passionate and uplifting posts on anything sexy

A Simple Love Habit that Works

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Yesterday I spoke with a couple having intimacy issues.
They were eager to give me the list of wasn’t working.
‘The first thing’ I said ‘you must to drop the habit of beginning with
the past.’

You will never feel like being intimate
by constantly bringing up what has not worked.
Constant criticism defeats desire. I suggested they spend
the week sharing as many sweet memories as they could.

When I get hooked into the habit of bringing up disappointing things, I first have to notice that I am doing this. When we are asleep to how our unkind words put out the fire of our passion we keep going down this futile tunnel.

The only juice you get from trying to correct your lover by pointing out what went wrong the last time is being ‘right’. Even if you manage to score a point with even tiny insults,   you are going to feel alone. We certainly know that insulting our lover is a dead end, but sometimes that perverse habit of criticizing wins the moment, and we say unkind things. Our ego is seems to win the battle, but our hearts always suffer.

It may sound trite to say as many kind things as you can to your lover, but in the realm of intimacy, it’s particularly true. We can retrain our minds to consciously speak of times when things worked well. Make it a habit to recall excellence, beauty and tenderness. Deliberately share victories with your beloved throughout your day. It’s simple, and it works. You just have to do it often enough to put your brain in the proper state of mind to be more loving and kind to each other.

Make it a point to share several beautiful memories and see what happens in the bedroom. I hope you’re pleasantly surprised what flows naturally from your hearts.

Because Beauty is a Living State of Love.

In beauty

Amara

Feature Article: Let Men Adore You

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What would happen if you let the men in your life utterly adore you? Can you imagine having men eager to provide whatever they can, able to take you into realms of pleasure you have may never known? Can you picture men who are turned on by finding ways to delight your body, mind and soul?

In my experience, when given the chance, these are precisely the things that men are absolutely dying to do for us.

But why do men seldom succeed? Why do they frequently fall short,
leaving things unsaid and undone? And why do they so often seem clueless, asking us what we want?

In my experience, it’s a matter of inspiring men rather than asking for or demanding the things we want. Yes, we can ask, and sometimes even demand that they step up. But what works best is to let our selves be surprised by what they do.

How often (I’m speaking now to women) have you asked a man to do something only to be frustrated that he didn’t listen, or he forgot, or even did the very thing you asked him not to do?

This is the first task: let a man be inspired by your openness.
It’s no secret men love to feel free, and that they often bristle at being told what to do – especially by a woman. So pay attention to how you ask for what you want. Is there a hidden agenda? Are you too attached to the way you expect things to be done?

The way to inspire his best to come pouring out is to relax into your beauty. I’m not referring only to putting on nice clothes or working out (although this may certainly inspire him too), I also mean to guard your speech, your eyes and your heart.

Try to say beautiful things about yourself and others. Notice beautiful things. Focus on creating beauty around you until there are surges of beauty that show up wherever you go.

One of the most important secrets to letting a man adore you is to cultivate the feeling that”I deserve pleasure. And I am worth it”.
For a man cannot cherish you unless you first begin, little by little, to love your self more.

What makes you shine most brightly- this is what men find irresistible-
is a kind of selfless shine. If you express selfishness, jealousy, greed or ignorance, this is precisely what will appear in the men around you.

A selfless shine is a luster that emanates from a woman who is plump with joy; it comes from a woman whose spirit generates happiness, trust and hope. She has a kind of erotic intelligence that supports his dreams and so she does not need to ‘get’ men to do anything…

When a woman nourishes her self, life and others this way she will be surrounded and supported by men who do the same. It’s a profound
pleasure to inspire men’s greatness by being someone worthy to protect, provide and create for.

In beauty
Quehestemehah (You dance in my heart)

(c) Amara Charles 2013
Keeps the Fire

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Just started reading your Quodoushka book

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Quodoushka

Subject: Re: just started reading your Quodoushka book
On Jan 9, 2013, at 10:07 PM, Jim Slavsky wrote:

Amara,

I just started the read, and I am already thankful.  I too was pretty much left in limbo regarding sexual relations when I was growing up.  I got the Catholic doctrine on the matter:  don’t do it…you’ll get someone pregnant…it’s a sin to even think about it…oh, and it is also a sin to explore your own body through masturbation.  No one was there to guide me through the emotional or physical reactions as I experimented on my own and occasionally with a partner.  Emotional and physical sexual development for me was done in the dark with the twisted notion that your sex partner had to be someone you intended to marry.  Some sort of mentoring process would have been very beneficial.  Actually, I am sure it would still be beneficial since I feel as though I have just barely scratched the surface of my sexual potential.  I guess that is why I searched and found Quodoushka.

The first chapter of your book also made me keenly aware of the source of the feelings I have started having of being an insufficient parent for my young teenage children.  I would really like to give my kids some guidance other than the rhetoric and limbo I was given at that age, but I haven’t known how to even begin.  At the same time I am also realizing from your text that I have already started my children on a solid path through my introducing them to nature and showing them the value of being observant and a good steward.

I am looking forward to learning much more about my sexual and parental potentials.

Thank you,
–jim

Hi Jim,
Thank you very much for sharing this with me.
What you say is so touching, and well written and I think a lot of people would relate to what you are saying.
I meet so may people who like you who not only survive a poor introduction to their sexuality,
they manage to do much better with their own children.
Bravo on you! Our children need parents who accept their sexuality as natural and good. It all begins with us.

In beauty
Amara

What Would An Ideal Introduction to Sexuality Look Like?

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What would an ideal sexual education look like?

A young girl, Audora Savitak wrote an amazing Huffington Post article about the steps a it would take to make schools better. I think some of her brilliant concepts could be applied to sexual education.

She says,  ” I am at a loss as to the benefits of putting a group of people of approximately the same age — but of varying aptitudes — into one room where they will all learn the same thing. The quicker students will sit bored while the teacher re-explains a concept they already know from their voracious reading, while the slower students will be confused and left out by the rapid pace at which everyone else seems to be progressing.” I couldn’t agree more and that’s only one of her brilliant ideas.

I was blown away not only by the intelligence of her ideas, More …

How to Have a Sexy Wedding

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Wedding Cake

Is it DOMA or ROMA? Instead of Defending Marriage, here’s our version: a Recreation of Marriage Act.

With bells of the temples still ringing in my bones, and various cultural oddities from China and Nepal swimming through my mind, I came back to the US to hear the president announce his full support for gay marriage. Then I facilitated an unusual nuptial, a kind of alternative ‘wedding,’ which, when I told a friend he said, “I’ve never heard of such a thing.”

Talk about culture shock. And I wasn’t the only one.

Let me explain. I was asked by a couple to help create a special ceremony that was both erotically intriguing in a private way, and that also had many of the traditional trimmings of wedlock (without the lock.) They wished to declare their intention to be together for the rest of their lives, have a reception, great food and a band. But that’s about as much a resemblance to a typical marriage as there was, for there were no rings, no bridesmaids, no priest, and curiously, no vows.

We never did come to a final say on what to actually call it. And this couple mused at length with what to put on the invitations, especially for family and their more conservative friends flying in from around the world.

For help, I decided to give Wiki a click to check the official definition of marriage. More …

How to Have a Sexy Marriage

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Is it DOMA or ROMA? (Recreation Of Marriage Act)

With bells of the temples still ringing in my bones, and various cultural oddities from China and Nepal swimming through my mind, I came back to the US to hear the president announce his full support for gay marriage. Then I facilitated an unusual nuptial, a kind of alternative ‘wedding,’ which, when I told a friend he said,  “I’ve never heard of such a thing.”

Talk about culture shock. And I wasn’t the only one.

Let me explain. I was asked by a couple to help create a special ceremony that was both erotically intriguing in a private way, and that also had many of the traditional trimmings of  wedlock (without the lock.)  They wished to declare their intention to be together for the rest of their lives, have a reception, great food and a band. But that’s about as much a resemblance to a typical marriage as there was, for there were no rings, no bridesmaids, no priest, and curiously, no vows.

We never did come to a final say on what to actually call it. And this couple mused at length with what to put on the invitations, especially for family and their more conservative friends flying in from around the world.

For help, I decided to give Wiki a click to check the official definition of marriage.

“A wedding is the ceremony in which two people are united in marriage or a similar institution. Wedding traditions and customs vary greatly between cultures, ethnic groups, religions, countries, and social classes. Most wedding ceremonies involve an exchange of wedding vows by the couple, presentation of a gift (offering, ring(s), symbolic item, flowers, money), and a public proclamation of marriage by an authority figure or leader. Special wedding garments are often worn, and the ceremony is sometimes followed by a wedding reception.”

As I said,  much of this wouldn’t do, and yet, the question was;

How could we make this ceremony express a different, yet equally profound commitment of love?

Clearly, this was to be out-of-the-box. Even construing a self-styled custom vow, like one’s I’ve heard in many alternative weddings did not begin to cover what they had in mind. Instead, these two (who had each been previously married with children) wished to custom design the ceremony so that it mirrored both the open and committed nature of their relationship.

We thus created a dual ceremony, one day for close friends to share the nuances of their intentions, and the next day for family and friends to bear witness and celebrate. With the circle of intimate friends, they shared stories of how they met online as well as sexy tales of their lovely courtship.

Then there was a stunning monologue of seduction played by an actor styled on Johnny Depp in Don Juan Demarco, a slinky Tigress fan dance to get everybody juicy, followed by inspirations on the art of love. On the more serious side, I presented a teaching on what it takes to keep an evolutionary relationship (such as theirs) secure, compelling and most importantly, wonderfully erotic.

The Bedchamber

For the Her

Her girlfriends prepared the nuptial boudoir with veils and other exotic things. They also had a private bath ceremony to bathe the bride, and offered blessings to invoke her beauty.

For Him

As for the men, I’m sworn to secrecy. (They too had their way of giving special love tips to the groom.) Suffice it to say, this couple not only invited their intimate circle to consecrate their relationship, they wanted their friends to be totally inspired to try this at home. Were the smiles on everyone’s faces coming back the next day a mere coincidence? I think not.

With this wind in our sails, the next day was a breeze, as the larger gathering for family and friends was funny and warm, the way a wedding should be. Some were touched by the honest proclamations of their conscious sexual agreements; others raised an eyebrow or two.

For this couple, their wedding was about rejoicing in the freedom to love and cherish deeply for as long as they each choose to do so. Perhaps there is a way to live happily ever after all.

In beauty, Amara

How would you make a sexy wedding with Conscious Sexual Agreements?

You can learn more about sustaining the passion of intimate unions in my Best-Selling books The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka and Sexual Agreements.

The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka by Amara Charles

Also available on Amazon and Barnes and Nobel.

I Dont Choose

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gustav Mahler

I don’t choose what I compose. It chooses me. -Gustav Mahler

inspired by Mikey Hart
Music and Spirit

In beauty, Amara
www. amaracharles.com

“This Note is to Warn you of A diabolical plot”

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Love Letter from ?

This is perhaps the Best Love Letter I’ve ever read and you’ll never believe who wrote it.

My Darling Wife

This note is to warn you of a diabolical plot entered into by some of our so called friends – (ha!) calendar makers and even our own children. These and others would have you believe we’ve been married 20 years.

20 minutes maybe – but never 20 years. In the first place it is a known fact that a human cannot sustain the high level of happiness I feel for more than a few minutes – and my happiness keeps increasing.

I will confess to one puzzlement but I’m sure it is just some trick perpetrated by our friends – (Ha again!) I can’t remember ever being without you and I know I was born more than 20 mins ago.

Oh well – that isn’t important. The important thing is I don’t want to be without you for the next 20 years, or 40, or however many there are. I’ve gotten very used to being happy and I love you very much indeed.

Your Husband of 20 something or other.

Signed Ronald Reagan when he was governor of California in 1972. He wrote his note to Nancy on their 20th wedding anniversary.

What’s the Best Love Letter You’ve Ever Read?

The Nectar of Immortality

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What would just a sprinkle of immortal nectar bring to your relationships? And where do you buy this stuff? What does it taste like and what does it do?

The Nectar of Immortality has the flavor of sweet peaches; the scent of rose oil and it causes your heart to swell with the urge to give. When this vapor is in your mind, you let go of worry and it pops the balloons of stress, sorrow and anger stored in your cells. Past transgressions become irrelevant, whatever keeps you from acting kindly dissolves and it gives you power to face anything. More …

Discover Your Erotic Nature – Chicago

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Discover Your Erotic Nature

Experience how your natural erotic nature is your most powerful resource for expressing your full creative expression as a lover. This workshop will bring you in touch with your fundamental life force energy so you can discover how your unique erotic type helps you communicate with love, consciousness, passion and kindness.

Afternoon Spiritual Sexuality Workshop  with Amara Charles

October 2nd, 2011
Chicago, Highland Park area. Noon-3pm

Amara Charles, author of ‘The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka,’ will be our guide for this provocative, experiential workshop including transformational shamanic teachings. You will not only learn fascinating things about your own erotic nature, you will discover what helps you to surrender, and express your natural gifts as a lover. Whether you have a partner, are seeking one, or are simply interested in exploring your erotic nature within yourself, you will receive practices that you can take home and use right away.

Amara is passionate about giving you clear, simple tools that work – to cultivate the kind of sexual pleasure, love and intimacy you deserve.
This workshop is fully-clothed, and will include individual, partner and group shamanic exercises. There is never any pressure or obligation to participate in any of the exercises, though highly recommended. More …