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A Simple Love Habit that Works

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Yesterday I spoke with a couple having intimacy issues.
They were eager to give me the list of wasn’t working.
‘The first thing’ I said ‘you must to drop the habit of beginning with
the past.’

You will never feel like being intimate
by constantly bringing up what has not worked.
Constant criticism defeats desire. I suggested they spend
the week sharing as many sweet memories as they could.

When I get hooked into the habit of bringing up disappointing things, I first have to notice that I am doing this. When we are asleep to how our unkind words put out the fire of our passion we keep going down this futile tunnel.

The only juice you get from trying to correct your lover by pointing out what went wrong the last time is being ‘right’. Even if you manage to score a point with even tiny insults,   you are going to feel alone. We certainly know that insulting our lover is a dead end, but sometimes that perverse habit of criticizing wins the moment, and we say unkind things. Our ego is seems to win the battle, but our hearts always suffer.

It may sound trite to say as many kind things as you can to your lover, but in the realm of intimacy, it’s particularly true. We can retrain our minds to consciously speak of times when things worked well. Make it a habit to recall excellence, beauty and tenderness. Deliberately share victories with your beloved throughout your day. It’s simple, and it works. You just have to do it often enough to put your brain in the proper state of mind to be more loving and kind to each other.

Make it a point to share several beautiful memories and see what happens in the bedroom. I hope you’re pleasantly surprised what flows naturally from your hearts.

Because Beauty is a Living State of Love.

In beauty

Amara

Parents Love The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka

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The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka: Teachings from the Nagual Tradition (Paperback)

I just started to read the book, and I am already thankful. I too was pretty much left in limbo regarding sexual relations when I was growing up. I got the church’s doctrine on the matter: don’t do it…you’ll get someone pregnant…it’s a sin to even think about it…oh, and it is also a sin to explore your own body through masturbation. There was no practical guidance from church, parents, or teachers as I stumbled through my sexual experiences and wondered why my experiences didn’t measure up to those displayed in the popular media (advertising, movies, magazines, etc.). Emotional and physical sexual development for me was done in the dark and always with a mental battle as to whether I should even be exploring this aspect of my personality. Some sort of mentoring process would have been very beneficial. Actually, In fact, I am sure it would still be beneficial since being mid-aged now I feel as though I have just barely scratched the surface of my sexual potential. I guess that is why I searched and found Quodoushka.The first chapter of the book has made me keenly aware of the source of my fairly recent feelings of being an insufficient parent for my young teenage children. This wasn’t a problem when they were younger, but I have difficulty now as they are starting to think about the opposite sex and sex in general. I would really like to give my kids some guidance other than the rhetoric and limbo I was given at that age, but I haven’t known how to even begin. Too much information before they are ready for it could be just as damaging as too little. Thankfully, I am also realizing from the text that I have already started my children on a solid path through my introducing them to nature and showing them the value of being observant in life and a good steward at home, school, and in the world. I am looking forward to learning much more about my sexual and parental potentials as I continue to read this wonderful book of knowledge.

Amara Says

Thank you for sharing this Dancing Yogi. I cannot tell you how many people – from all different cultures- I have met who have had little or no real sexual guidance or education from anyone.As I mention in this book, the harm caused by perpetuating negative attitudes about sex is immeasurable for when we do not have something instilled at the core of our being that says that sex is healthy, natural and good, it weakens the joy in every connection we make. When we have to hide our pleasure, when we feel guilty for the natural joy that creation has given us it paves the way for confusion in our adult relationships. Why in the world would we want to pass on this legacy? I commend you for your simple wisdom and for trying to introduce the world of sex to your children by having them look into the natural world around them. I am happy that my book inspired you to do something you probably already knew. I loved writing the chapter on An Initiation into the World of Sexuality. In many ways, it’s just plain common sense, yet because so many of us never had a good introduction to our sexuality, we get confused. We want to give our children the best we can, but we don’t always know how. As I say in many different ways in my book, the best thing we can do for our children is to get clear ourselves, heal the wounds we can, and then honestly answer the questions they ask.

I am thrilled by the responses from so many parents who are showing my book to young teens. They appreciate having some real guidance, and a starting place to talk about sex. A lot of people ask me ‘when should I show my children?’ I always say, ‘when they are interested, when they ask.’

I still see so many fine people that are hindered and held back from love and intimacy because of sexual things that happened to them when they were young. It takes a tremendous effort to overcome the wounds that happen because of ignorance, and again I commend you for taking steps to put the misinformation behind you. Many of us may wish we had these teachings way earlier, but I know it’s time now to begin a life of more care and sensitivity for your self, Mother Life, and others.

Thank you for sharing.
In beauty,
Amara

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Rosa Talks about Breast Exercises

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Beautiful Breasts Intro Video clip

Yin Way Breast Exercise Feedback and Questions like these are rolling in.

Hello Lovely Goddesses!
I am loving the Yin Breast Restoration Restoration exercises. Thank you for bringing this to us. I have questions. Can you direct me to a site or tell me on a physiological level, why these are beneficial. Also, what about women with cancer history (not necessarily active stage), fibroids, suspicious spots or lumps, etc? And what about active stage?
Blessings
Rosa

Hi Rosa,
Thank you for your kind words and inquiry.

This is such a huge topic! There is a lot of great clinical research on the benefits of Qi Gong-(you could say this Yin Way Exercise is Qi Gong for the breasts).

Yin Way Breast Exercise

Yin Way Breast Exercise. Now available.

I am gathering resources for you and will be sending more information soon. Promise.

Amara

FROM ROSA

Hooray! I have been doing the exercises every night before bed for 3 weeks now. I wish I’d taken a ‘before’ photo because I believe my breast have changed…developing some fullness on top as opposed to the flatness they’ve had. And to think, I’d been counting the days until I could afford a breast life procedure. I Love You!!!

From: Amara Charles [mailto:amaracharles123@gmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, January 22, 2013 11:00 AM
To: Susan Oake; Rosa Casas
Subject: Re: Yin Way Exercises

FROM AMARA

ps.

You Tube may have removed my video, but there’s no stopping beauty. You can still see the intro Beautiful Breasts Video Poem on Vimeo


Beautiful Breasts from Amara Charles on Vimeo.

Amara Charles presents a video poem inspiring women to love their beautiful breasts. An inspirational video, this is the introduction to her new release of the Yin Way Breast Exercises for sexual restoration. By practicing this self love, self massage exercise, women can love them selves and love their breasts. The full exercise is available @ www.amaracharles.com

The Most Profound Quodoushka Letter I’ve Ever Recieved

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Quodoushka January Phoenix
*posted with permission, of course

Dear Amara, Mukee, John and Emily,

We are back in the (very) frigid Northland again. It’s 18 degrees F right now and is predicted to be in the below zero range over the weekend.

But we are warm within. We have taken your hot juiciness with us.

You are all so very talented! You are all funny. You are all sexy. You are all brilliant.

Hot, hot, hot and so very kind and wise – Each of you.

Amara – whose perfect understanding of group dynamics and perfectly paced delivery never failed –even when coughing. Your complete acceptance of the Sexual Being before you was a Welcome Home to everyone in the room. Mukee your lusty, sexy humor and goodwill to all and your fabulous freedom and body language took the material home. John (“Ryan Seacrest”) with your brilliant speaking style and connected embodiment of the material (can’t ever stop thinking about that Forest Fire Orgasm demo!) you taught us a depth of knowing that will stay with us for years. Can’t believe you aren’t a veteran of the course! And lovely, dear, Super-Hot Emily who made us all feel OK about being sexy
because you were always the sexiest. We will remember you moving with pure pleasure on the floor, (trying to) grab John’s leg, and of course your fantastically sexy outfits. What a great role model for all of us.

Somehow, you wonderful, sexy people managed to transform us. You carried us from our tight, frightened inner space to expansive places of fluidity, self-acceptance and grace. Thank you!

Thank you for moving us.

When we arrived in Phoenix More …

It is OK to shout at someone?

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angry

 

Dear Amara,
we have a medicine discussion going on and I really would like to hear
you interpretation about this topic! I think you are a wise teacher
and maybe can clarify something, please would you be so kind to answer
it, thanks you!

It is about the basic wheel “The Gifts of Being Human” (green Manual page 32)
Give with Tenderness (Emotions – Energy in Motion)

The question is: It is OK to shout at someone when the person who
shouts let their emotions go and is happy again within 15 minutes?

Like: A says: This is green.
And B is shouting at A: How can you tell me this is green when it is red!

You know just an example and the question is not who is wrong or right.

One Medicine person says: It is totally OK to shout at “A” because
otherwise I would hold my emotions which is not the proper use of
emotions.
And yes, goal is to give with tenderness, but to reach this goal and
as long as I am not there it is totally OK to shout at a person – this
is spontaneous expression of energy (within 15 minutes) and therefore
good that “B” doesn’t hold emotions. “A” has to withstand that and if
A does not agree than A is not clear with her/his emotions.

One Medicine person says: It is not OK to shout at “A”, it is never OK
to shout at someone (except in a case of emergency).
If you loose your temper so that you have to shout at another person
you should do more character refinement. And if it happens than take
responsibility for your actions and make sure that “A” is OK – and
knows that it was just a short thunderstorm and you are well and happy
again.

So what is your opinion to that case and how do you think about the
wheels in the south, give with tenderness?

Thank you very much for your answer!

Love, Susan

Dear Susan,

Ah, lovely question. I shall answer you with my first thoughts:

First of all, the question of ‘is it okay to…” is a direct set up. Making one thing right and another wrong. Thus if you shout, you are wrong.
The real question is, what does anger do for you?
Only you can be the judge of this.
A wise person begins to realize More …

The self-healing tips for HANGOVER

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The self-healing tips for HANGOVER are finally here!
Re-posted from Cedric Sun
from his blog: New (but old) ways to stay healthy

There are often 2 major kinds of hangover symptoms:

1: Headache being the main symptom, with eye swollen or/and echo in the head from talking. This is usually caused by acetaldehyde accumulation.
2: Bad emotion being the main symptom, with nauseous or vomiting. This is usually caused by acute gastritis.
If you went hardcore the night before then you may have both. If you have swollen fingers or even losing conscious, then it’s probably alcohol intoxication and you better have someone call 911 for you.

To save you from symptom 1, find the following points:

No.1 Bai Hui: midpoint of the line between the two ears, very top point of the head. Method: press. (Picture above)

 

No.2 Tian Zhu: on the neck, level with C2, in the depression at the lateral border of trapezius. Method: rub.

 

No.3 Gan Shu: level with T9, 2 fingers away from the spine. Method: tap, hit or rub (Don’t worry if you can’t find the exact locations, even you are just working the area it will still work.)

To Save you from symptom 2, simply rub the up, down, left and right, 4 points that are about 3cm from the bellybutton, then press them down, hold about 6 seconds then release. Repeat about 10 times or simply till you feel better.

Hope this helps! (Although I have not yet got a chance to test them myself )

Cedric Sun

Amara Charles on BOOTY DOCTORS BLOGTALK RADIO

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Amara Charles

Amara Charles On BOOTY DOCTORS BLOGTALK RADIO.com
Nine Erogenous Zones of The Love Game

Twas a fabulous conversation! For Him: on how to erotically arouse and court a woman

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thebootydoctors

 

TO LISTEN TO Amara & the BOOTY DOCTORS ON BLOG TALK RADIO More …

Have Sex Complaints Ever Ruined Your Night?

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couple trouble

Transform complaints on the spot for better sex

If some complaint is keeping you from feeling sexy, I’ve got some news from my own experience: there is no reasonable way out. I’ve met with way too many women and men who, although they have no desire to feel irritated by each other, do.

On a good day old grievances subside, but mostly they’re like a familiar stew on a stove waiting for  the slightest thing to turn the burner on. Whether they get blurted out or stay put, the grudges we carry rarely disappear entirely. Wouldn’t it be nice if you woke up one day and they were gone, like poof! More …

What Makes a Magnificent Sexual Experience?

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From Mark:

I am not sure that there are always 3 common denominators, sometimes it involves toys, other times not; sometimes it involves a long time and slow steady playing, other times fast and furious; sometimes bondage or sensory deprivation, other times not.

Maybe it’s the willingness to go to where the moment takes both partners and the willingness & unselfishness to do or allow what the partner leads. But I do think it must involve the sense of oneness with the partner.
Mark

Sounds great Mark. Tell me more.

What Makes a Magnificent Sexual Experience?

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What Makes a Magnificent Sexual Experience?

Amara Charles

Ruby Says:

1. For me I really look for energy that is being exchanged between me and my partner. I like to feel connected to my chakras and spiral energy through them, while maintaining breath awareness. This allows me to have control of my energetic and physical body and abstain from orgasm until I feel ready if I choose. By doing this the orgasm is sometimes secondary to the sexual experience. It is more about the intimacy, kissing, sweating, love, verbal communication, etc that transpires.

2. Creating a fantasy and playing it out is sometimes thrilling as there is role play involved, which really allows the imaginative process of sex to be explored. It can be and is usually is about desire, lust, sex and orgasm for both of us.

3. Sometimes just a quickie at an off hour where we just have sex for the fun of having sex, I recently had a great make out session in the back seat of my girlfriend’s car simply because she pulled me in. No sex but wow was it exhilarating.

From BP

#1 What makes for magnificent sex?

When I give my COMPLETE ATTENTION to my lover, and she to me, that where it all starts and ends.
With that we discover the rhythms in our breathing and body language.
And then it’s trusting and having confidence in the rightness of your sexual dance together.


Amara:

Yes. Yes. Wonderful.  I agree it’s more about the intangibles of energy, breathing and intimacy and perhaps fantasy as you say…

I suspect there is something else too…

I believe what makes a magnificent sexual experience- not just a good, or satisifying one, but a Magnificent Sexual Experience is pretty much unexplainable. Nevertheless,  for me there is one thing that will resonate like a fragrance throughout every moment of an unforgettable sexual experience. It comes in through the door when you create good trust and luxurious sensitivity. I call it the Unknown.

Amara:

A really extraordinary sexual experience pulls you- once you feel safe enough to open- into the Unknown. The only way this happens is when you drop all contrivances, all past, all techniques, and you focus purely on the wild spontaneous split second that will only happen once. A Magnificent sexual experiences can only happen one time That’s it’s beauty.  So it’s impossible to ever recreate of even attempt to do over a magnificent moment. It’s far better to poise your senses on the edges of beauty and saturate the mind with exquisite thoughts of beauty. Then perhaps the sex gods will grant you the chance to share an eternal moment of bliss with somebody. And if you are granted thusly, you will enjoy it for the rest of your life.