My Monthly Passion
An Uncanny Eye for Eros
It’s quite an elegant way of describing what happens in the creative flow when your identity disappears, your body dissolves and what seems to be ‘You’ floats by, suspended in the sensation that something else is moving you.
I’m sure you’ve been here before; in the stream state of awareness where you simultaneously feel absolutely calm yet utterly alert. You move through suspended time within a bubble of aliveness where you can zoom in and out of focus whenever you want to. You can sense, see, hear, vibrate and even taste pleasure keenly. And you know things without knowing how you know them. Did I mention all this happens with a feeling of boundless love streaming through your body that may feel like chocolate syrup oozing over everything?
With his charming sci-poetic élan, Csikszentmihaly observes some interesting things about how, rather than arriving at peaks of heightened awareness and performance by chance, there are certain things we can do to get into this flow more often.
He Interviewed 8000 artists, scientists, musicians and monks to find out how some people regularly induce a kind of cocoon of meaningful existence where they tap into the ability to ‘create something new where nothing once existed’. Distilling the two common things all creative people do, he proposes anyone can generate flow states for heightened performance.
First he says, you need to have skill; at least ten years of practice. (Good news for those of us who’ve been making love for at least that long.) If you’re unskilled he says, you’ll have too much attention and anxiety to access the creative flow state. How true of ecstatic bliss too.
The second thing you’ll need is a challenge, for cozy comfort seems to keep you as much out of the zone as too much stress.
Consider the last time you trusted yourself to risk surrendering into an ecstatic state of pleasure. Chances are, afterwards, you glowed with a creative shine for hours, if not days. I’ve been wondering what combination of skill and challenge is required to visit those streaming erotic flow states more often, and most importantly, how we can put those creative surges to good use.
So stay tuned in and turned on; this is just a peek of what’s coming soon. If I have enough people interested I’ll launch our new Erotic Challenge plus a totally experiential workshop integrating everything I’ve gathered for the last 25 years about how to realize your highest performance through and beyond the pleasure zone.
Meantime, practice your love skills and summon boldness in your bedroom. And remember to consider what it means to ‘stand aside‘ during moments of intense pleasure. I challenge you to become an unusual self – voyeur. Perhaps you’ll discover an uncanny eye for Eros that sees Beauty in the most unusual places, especially inside.
In case you missed it: Flow, the Secret to Happiness on Ted
An Uncanny Eye For Eros
It’s quite an elegant way of describing what happens in the creative flow when your identity disappears, your body dissolves and what seems to be ‘You’ floats by, suspended in the sensation that something else is moving you.
I’m sure you’ve been here before; in the stream state of awareness where you simultaneously feel absolutely calm yet utterly alert. You move through suspended time within a bubble of aliveness where you can zoom in and out of focus whenever you want to. You can sense, see, hear, vibrate and even taste pleasure keenly. And you know things without knowing how you know them. Did I mention all this happens with a feeling of boundless love streaming through your body that may feel like chocolate syrup oozing over everything?
With his charming sci-poetic élan, Csikszentmihaly observes some interesting things about how, rather than arriving at peaks of heightened awareness and performance by chance, there are certain things we can do to get into this flow more often.
He Interviewed 8000 artists, scientists, musicians and monks to find out how some people regularly induce a kind of cocoon of meaningful existence where they tap into the ability to ‘create something new where nothing once existed’. Distilling the two common things all creative people do, he proposes anyone can generate flow states for heightened performance.
First he says, you need to have skill; at least ten years of practice. (Good news for those of us who’ve been making love for at least that long.) If you’re unskilled he says, you’ll have too much attention and anxiety to access the creative flow state. How true of ecstatic bliss too.
The second thing you’ll need is a challenge, for cozy comfort seems to keep you as much out of the zone as too much stress.
Consider the last time you trusted yourself to risk surrendering into an ecstatic state of pleasure. Chances are, afterwards, you glowed with a creative shine for hours, if not days. I’ve been wondering what combination of skill and challenge is required to visit those streaming erotic flow states more often, and most importantly, how we can put those creative surges to good use.
So stay tuned in and turned on; this is just a peek of what’s coming soon. If I have enough people interested I’ll launch our new Erotic Challenge plus a totally experiential workshop integrating everything I’ve gathered for the last 25 years about how to realize your highest performance through and beyond the pleasure zone.
Meantime, practice your love skills and summon boldness in your bedroom. And remember to consider what it means to ‘stand aside‘ during moments of intense pleasure. I challenge you to become an unusual self – voyeur. Perhaps you’ll discover an uncanny eye for Eros that sees Beauty in the most unusual places, especially inside.
In case you missed it: Flow, the Secret to Happiness on Ted
What is it About Breasts?
Maybe someday, it will be fine to show bare breasts and enjoy in their beauty without being shamed. What it is about breasts that makes us feel so uncomfortable?
Female Breasts that is. Last I checked, every female has them. But we can only do certain things with them, one of them being we must hide them in public. We are allowed to tease, with partial peeks around the edges, but not the tips, or the nipples. Really, nipples must be tucked away from view.
If you’ve ever gone to a place where every one is naked, in about ten minutes, everyone stops looking. So the argument that baring breasts causes too much arousal, (similar to what some Muslims fear) is just not true. In reality, it’s the hiding, the partially revealing that’s far more arousing than letting them just hang out. I noticed our strange customs around breasts when I created this video, Beautiful Breasts, which is banned from You Tube, I guess from showing those nipples. I made it to celebrate the beauty of our breasts. But most importantly I wanted to give women a way to connect lovingly with their own breasts.
Certain breasts are okay, I’ve seen many films showing bare breasted indigenous women. Guess that’s okay, because? But showing western women enjoying their breasts, or for the purpose of healing? Still way too much for you tube. Perhaps demystifying breasts may influence too many women away from surgeries to augment them. Given the fact that so many women are suffering from breast cancer, and almost everyone I know knows several women who have had serious issues with their breasts, isn’t it time to flood our media with empowering images? Could it be that mainstream’s phobia about showing breasts, combined with our obsessive fascination may be contributing to the shame women feel about their bodies?
Feature Article: Sexy Success
What makes for stellar success is a personal thing, but my recent visit with Jaiya, a successful sex educator, shows how doing what we like in bed may be just what we need to succeed. While being filmed for her VH1 special on somatic (hands on) sexology, we got a private peek into how she delights in using her sexiness for success, and her success to stay sexy – and why we shouldn’t settle for subpar in either.
Busting Myth #1: You have to Sell Out to Succeed
Have you ever noticed how things speed up when you’re feeling successful? You seem to do much more in less time, you have to say ‘no’ to things you could once say ‘yes’ to, and you don’t have as much time to hang out. To others it may seem as if you’ve sold out. The speed of things focuses your mission, challenges you to be excellent and makes you select where you place every precious ounce of attention (and where not to.) If you relax inside, you can handle the ‘swish’. It’s exhilarating. The faster things happen, the more of a magnet you become for more connections. Now, take this same principle, and apply it to your private erotic life. Riding the sublime comes down to: just doing it creates the desire and energy for more.
Busting Myth #2: It’s Who You Know
It’s not who you know, it’s what you do with who you know. Success is contagious, as the happier and more generous you are, the more fun you are to be with and thus the more opportunities land in your lap. Since success tends to make you feel wanted, you become someone people want to be near. That is, if you are actually enjoying your self inside the buzz. Now take this into your personal erotic life. When you are generous, even inside the whirlwind of busyness, taking each conversation to heart, appreciating anyone near you, you are multipling pleasure. This is the alluring energy behind success, and it works in bed too. If you’re tense while doing the never-ending stream of whatever you’re doing, or you are not content with what (or who) is sitting next to you, success will always be just out of reach. It’s not only who can help you succeed, it’s who’s around to share it with.
Busting Myth #3 It Takes Money to Make Money
This myth is about the idea that you have to have money to make it, or erotically, you have to have a partner to have sex. While it’s true, sex is always better with a warm body, the trick to both money and sex, is having some. In Jennifer Goldberg’s article, Why you Need Good Sex, she says, ‘Seeking out—and having— good sex is a self-perpetuating cycle. The neurotransmitter dopamine—which “focuses your attention on something you really want to go after,” (explains Dr. Pfaus)1—gives us the confidence to approach mates we think will provide the most pleasure, while good sex releases opioids, which further stoke the fire.’
Busting Myth # 4 Pain = Gain
The myth that successful people are too driven by ambition to enjoy anything (and there are plenty of examples) comes from the idea that it takes self – sacrifice and suffering to end suffering. But pain loops may not only deplete your reserve of dopamine, if you don’t have it right along the way, it wont will be much fun when you ‘get there’. Another option is to operate on a pleasure loop for success. It’s not a selfish grasp for pleasure, or a perpetual craving for what’s missing, it’s a loop where you derive pleasure by giving something of value to others while having a blast along the way too. It’s the tease of anticipation, savoring every nibble and squeeze while feeling delight in another’s joy that’s the stuff of success. When it starts happening in the boardroom as smoothly as it does in the bedroom, as I experienced being with Jaiya, you know you’re onto something good.
What’s success? Feeling grateful for being alive is success; the rest is relative.
In beauty, © Amara Charles
Quehestemehah ‘You dance in my heart’
Amara Charles’ Best – Selling Book ‘The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka’ featuring the Sexual Anatomy Types as Seen on VH1 is available on www.amaracharles.com or Amazon.com
Discover Your Sexual Anatomy Type
Sexual Anatomy Types from Amara Charles on Vimeo. An introduction to discovering your sexual anatomy type from Amara Charles' best selling book, 'The Sexual Teachings of Quodoushka'. Named for the gifts and attributes of different animals, knowing your Sexual Anatomy Types gives you a ways to take pride in your anatomy type and learn about the things your lover likes best.
I wonder about my breasts
Jane Zawski wrote:
I looked at your video with great interest. I have below A-size breasts and what I have sag and have stretch marks on them. The pink areolas and nipples are ok, but, really, I don’t think my breasts are beautiful. I’m sure there are many of us mothers out there with such breasts. I’ve looked, but can’t find pictures of other breasts like mine and women who love these little, scarred protrusions. I am just writing quickly because I have just a moment, and would love any thoughts and you to point me in the right direction (same for my saggy upper and lower stomach, below which muscles are actually visible from my yoga practice, but the sag and stretched, marked skin won’t ever go away, I guess).
Love you,
Jane
Amara wrote:
Dear Jane,
You have been on my mind all day. Perhaps I made this video for you. I know many women do not love their bodies or their breasts. This is why I made the video, I made it for women like you and me, who must learn to love our bodies.
When I was a young girl. I fell in love with my camp counselor and I used to love letting my eyes linger and stare at his skin when he wasn’t looking. I loved every pore of his face, and I was fascinated by the deep grooves, crevices, lines and marks that sprawled across his cheeks, and nose. I used to study and remember every indentation, and I remember ( this was 40 years ago!) I absolutely adored the marks on his face as if they were the signatures or calligraphy of a fine painting.
Then, a few years later I saw him again. The glow of summer camp had faded long ago. I zoomed into his face as I did as a girl, but now as a young woman, my brain registered wrinkles, and deep pockmarks! The very things I loved stroking my eyes over he must have hated or thought odd. Such are the eyes of an innocent girl.
This is exactly why I made the Beautiful Breast video, because it is the way we use our eyes that matters; especially the way we see ourselves. We can look at our bodies, or others with love and we will see beauty. Or we can look with muddy eyes, cruel eyes, and eyes full of judgement. Then what we see becomes ugly.
Your Breasts Are Beautiful
A favorite poem by Hafiz goes something like this
CHANGE
What is it you would change?
Your face?
Your eyes?
(Your Breasts)
Why would you change these things?
For if you change
Your face
Your eyes
(Your breasts)
God might might not recognize you.
I know few of us have breasts like the ones in these pictures. You see, it’s not really important to change the lines or shape of things, for that is not where beauty is.
Love is the only thing that can change the shape of things, for love is a feeling. It’s a vibration that creates the shape of what we see.
So you must not approach your body or your self with the idea that you must change anything, because nothing is wrong.
Now, this being said, I know that seeing ourselves with muddy eyes is not an easy thing to let go of. I know we want to feel and be seen as beautiful. But trust me, this must first come from inside you. You must find different eyes to see yourself.
Beauty is a vibration of love. It’s first a feeling of self acceptance, saying to your self, ‘okay, I am what I am.’
When you do this, if you can you look at your self with kinder eyes for a just a moment something curious cam happen. Try to see, try to look at your breasts before your mind has a chance to sink a dark arrow into what you see. You can suspend those dark arrows of judgement against yourself by having a little bit of awareness.
You need to pause first and look at what you see without thinking. You will notice your self looking at your breasts. This is the secret to turning your eyes inwards, to turning the darkness of not liking yourself into a moment of directly seeing what is really so. These tiny pauses of awareness turn into light arrows of self acceptance. As you do this again and again your inner eyes meet your outer eyes, and they become kinder and kinder until your gaze for yourself turns into a warm fire of self love.
I cannot promise you will get rid of every line and groove, but I can say if you love yourself again and again your eyes will change, and your body will feel different.
This is the secret of beauty, because if you do this for long enough, the shape of your body will shimmer with beauty. Beauty is a vibration that when you feel it, it can be seen by others. This is really why I created the Yin Way video, so you could create this vibration of love inside you.
I know many women do not feel their breasts are beautiful. I do not have the breasts of a model, but I love them. I had to be told many times by my lover that my breasts are beautiful. I couldn’t hear those words, especially about my breasts, for a long time. But gradually, I began to feel this love, curling inside me like a wisp of smoke. I knew I had to do this often, to practice loving myself, caressing myself with this nourishing love until I could feel love sinking into my skin and my mind. Maybe some are born with this kind of love or beauty, and it’s easier for them to feel. But maybe some of us have to grow and tend to our bodies like a garden in need of water and sun. This is why I also believe that breasts need to be nibbled and licked, and stroked until we can get used to this vibration and know that it is good.
You are beautiful Jane.
In beauty,
Amara
Yin Way Breast Exercise. Now available.
p.s. with your permission, I’d like to post this so others can begin to feel this vibration of love inside themselves.
May I?
Jane wrote:
Dear Amara
Thank you for your reply. I’m thinking a lot about what you’ve written and I appreciate it.
Yes, please share with others whatever you wish. What you wrote is beautiful.
Thanks again -
Jane
for beautiful breasts that shimmer with love from the inside out.
Rosa Talks about Breast Exercises
Yin Way Breast Exercise Feedback and Questions like these are rolling in.
Hello Lovely Goddesses!
I am loving the Yin Breast Restoration Restoration exercises. Thank you for bringing this to us. I have questions. Can you direct me to a site or tell me on a physiological level, why these are beneficial. Also, what about women with cancer history (not necessarily active stage), fibroids, suspicious spots or lumps, etc? And what about active stage?
Blessings
Rosa
Hi Rosa,
Thank you for your kind words and inquiry.
This is such a huge topic! There is a lot of great clinical research on the benefits of Qi Gong-(you could say this Yin Way Exercise is Qi Gong for the breasts).
Yin Way Breast Exercise. Now available.
I am gathering resources for you and will be sending more information soon. Promise.
Amara
FROM ROSA
Hooray! I have been doing the exercises every night before bed for 3 weeks now. I wish I’d taken a ‘before’ photo because I believe my breast have changed…developing some fullness on top as opposed to the flatness they’ve had. And to think, I’d been counting the days until I could afford a breast life procedure. I Love You!!!
From: Amara Charles [mailto:amaracharles123@gmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, January 22, 2013 11:00 AM
To: Susan Oake; Rosa Casas
Subject: Re: Yin Way Exercises
FROM AMARA
ps.
You Tube may have removed my video, but there’s no stopping beauty. You can still see the intro Beautiful Breasts Video Poem on Vimeo
Beautiful Breasts from Amara Charles on Vimeo.
Amara Charles presents a video poem inspiring women to love their beautiful breasts. An inspirational video, this is the introduction to her new release of the Yin Way Breast Exercises for sexual restoration. By practicing this self love, self massage exercise, women can love them selves and love their breasts. The full exercise is available @ www.amaracharles.com
The Most Profound Quodoushka Letter I’ve Ever Recieved
Quodoushka January Phoenix
*posted with permission, of course
Dear Amara, Mukee, John and Emily,
We are back in the (very) frigid Northland again. It’s 18 degrees F right now and is predicted to be in the below zero range over the weekend.
But we are warm within. We have taken your hot juiciness with us.
You are all so very talented! You are all funny. You are all sexy. You are all brilliant.
Hot, hot, hot and so very kind and wise – Each of you.
Amara – whose perfect understanding of group dynamics and perfectly paced delivery never failed –even when coughing. Your complete acceptance of the Sexual Being before you was a Welcome Home to everyone in the room. Mukee your lusty, sexy humor and goodwill to all and your fabulous freedom and body language took the material home. John (“Ryan Seacrest”) with your brilliant speaking style and connected embodiment of the material (can’t ever stop thinking about that Forest Fire Orgasm demo!) you taught us a depth of knowing that will stay with us for years. Can’t believe you aren’t a veteran of the course! And lovely, dear, Super-Hot Emily who made us all feel OK about being sexy
because you were always the sexiest. We will remember you moving with pure pleasure on the floor, (trying to) grab John’s leg, and of course your fantastically sexy outfits. What a great role model for all of us.
Somehow, you wonderful, sexy people managed to transform us. You carried us from our tight, frightened inner space to expansive places of fluidity, self-acceptance and grace. Thank you!
Thank you for moving us.
When we arrived in Phoenix More …
Just started reading your Quodoushka book
Subject: Re: just started reading your Quodoushka book
On Jan 9, 2013, at 10:07 PM, Jim Slavsky wrote:
Amara,
I just started the read, and I am already thankful. I too was pretty much left in limbo regarding sexual relations when I was growing up. I got the Catholic doctrine on the matter: don’t do it…you’ll get someone pregnant…it’s a sin to even think about it…oh, and it is also a sin to explore your own body through masturbation. No one was there to guide me through the emotional or physical reactions as I experimented on my own and occasionally with a partner. Emotional and physical sexual development for me was done in the dark with the twisted notion that your sex partner had to be someone you intended to marry. Some sort of mentoring process would have been very beneficial. Actually, I am sure it would still be beneficial since I feel as though I have just barely scratched the surface of my sexual potential. I guess that is why I searched and found Quodoushka.
The first chapter of your book also made me keenly aware of the source of the feelings I have started having of being an insufficient parent for my young teenage children. I would really like to give my kids some guidance other than the rhetoric and limbo I was given at that age, but I haven’t known how to even begin. At the same time I am also realizing from your text that I have already started my children on a solid path through my introducing them to nature and showing them the value of being observant and a good steward.
I am looking forward to learning much more about my sexual and parental potentials.
Thank you,
–jim
Hi Jim,
Thank you very much for sharing this with me.
What you say is so touching, and well written and I think a lot of people would relate to what you are saying.
I meet so may people who like you who not only survive a poor introduction to their sexuality,
they manage to do much better with their own children.
Bravo on you! Our children need parents who accept their sexuality as natural and good. It all begins with us.
In beauty
Amara
Yin Way Breast Massage Now Available
Yin Way Breast Massage Now Available
Currently Banned From You Tube!
Yin Way Breast Massage Now Available
Announcing a New Release of the Yin Way Breast Exercises. Watch my new Video Poem: Beautiful Breasts Direct Download Video is Now Available @ Amara Charles.com
Announcing a New Release of the Yin Way Breast Exercises. Watch my new Video Poem: Beautiful Breasts Direct Download Video is Now Available @ Amara Charles.com
Amara Charles presents a video poem inspiring women to love their beautiful breasts. An inspirational video, this is the introduction to her new release of the Yin Way Breast Exercises for sexual restoration. By practicing this self love, self massage exercise, women can love them selves and love their breasts. The full exercise is now available in our shop.
(currently banned for nudity)
Introduction Beautiful Breasts
Direct Download of the full Yin Way Breast Exercise is Now Available @ Amara Charles.com
