My Monthly Passion
What would happen if you let the men in your life utterly adore you? Can you imagine having men eager to provide whatever they can, able to take you into realms of pleasure you have may never known? Can you picture men who are turned on by finding ways to delight your body, mind and soul?
In my experience, when given the chance, these are precisely the things that men are absolutely dying to do for us.
But why do men seldom succeed? Why do they frequently fall short,
leaving things unsaid and undone? And why do they so often seem clueless, asking us what we want?
In my experience, it’s a matter of inspiring men rather than asking for or demanding the things we want. Yes, we can ask, and sometimes even demand that they step up. But what works best is to let our selves be surprised by what they do.
How often (I’m speaking now to women) have you asked a man to do something only to be frustrated that he didn’t listen, or he forgot, or even did the very thing you asked him not to do?
This is the first task: let a man be inspired by your openness.
It’s no secret men love to feel free, and that they often bristle at being told what to do – especially by a woman. So pay attention to how you ask for what you want. Is there a hidden agenda? Are you too attached to the way you expect things to be done?
The way to inspire his best to come pouring out is to relax into your beauty. I’m not referring only to putting on nice clothes or working out (although this may certainly inspire him too), I also mean to guard your speech, your eyes and your heart.
Try to say beautiful things about yourself and others. Notice beautiful things. Focus on creating beauty around you until there are surges of beauty that show up wherever you go.
One of the most important secrets to letting a man adore you is to cultivate the feeling that”I deserve pleasure. And I am worth it”.
For a man cannot cherish you unless you first begin, little by little, to love your self more.
What makes you shine most brightly- this is what men find irresistible-
is a kind of selfless shine. If you express selfishness, jealousy, greed or ignorance, this is precisely what will appear in the men around you.
A selfless shine is a luster that emanates from a woman who is plump with joy; it comes from a woman whose spirit generates happiness, trust and hope. She has a kind of erotic intelligence that supports his dreams and so she does not need to ‘get’ men to do anything…
When a woman nourishes her self, life and others this way she will be surrounded and supported by men who do the same. It’s a profound
pleasure to inspire men’s greatness by being someone worthy to protect, provide and create for.
Quehestemehah (You dance in my heart)
(c) Amara Charles 2013
Keeps the Fire
Inspired by a remarkable letter written from a son to his father after attending a Quodoushka Sexuality Workshop. He attended by himself (with the blessing of his wife, who also attended a Q).
By Amara Charles
Lets say a father makes his son suffer. But the father doesn’t know he’s causing his son to suffer. He does not see how, nor understand why his son is suffering. So the father carries on doing the best he can.
The reality is that the father copes with his pain, but he has not looked into its root causes. He deals with his pain the way he learned to from his dad, and he passes the ball on to his son who then passes it onto his wife and family. Perhaps from a young age the grandfather mistreated the father. Even though the son wants things to change, the habits are deep.
Until somebody gets the game for what it is, the only thing that gets passed (usually veiled in numbness or angry outbursts) is resentment, And thus, the wheel of suffering spins from generation to generation.
Whenever you recognize that the root cause of suffering is always some form of withholding love, you pick up a light arrow of awareness. This moment of awareness, this pause of habit is priceless; it stops the cycle of suffering.
It’s quite liberating to realize, whoa, this is not ‘me’. I’ve just been acting the way I was taught, behaving the way I grew up. The instant you realize this, you sort of catch the habit by the tail. Then there is a gap, a pause, a chance to do something, anything different. What I enjoy about Taj’s letter is the way he seeks to untangle the original kink, and the way he knows the stuff with his Dad is somehow the key to liberating more passion and love with his wife.
So instead of creating a kinked loop of dark resentment covered in bland indifference, a new trajectory of compassion has begun. This is the key to liberating sexual, intimate love and compassion.
Using our defensive childhood coping strategies of withholding love never works. Withholding love only breeds the resentment that perpetuates suffering.
However, I do respect the tenacity of those early twisted- love -patterns we take from and pass on to our loved ones and I know they need constant attention. The glimpses of awareness we gain can be fragile and fleeting.
I especially know how those love kinks may return when we go home to visit families…
So to comb through the tangles and return to the natural flow of love, do this healing practice from Thich Nhat Hanh:
Breathing in, I see myself as a five-year-old child.
Breathing out, I smile to the five-year-old child still alive and present in me.
Breathing in, I see the five-year-old child in me as being fragile, vulnerable, wounded.
Breathing out, I embrace the five-year-old child in me with all my understanding and love.
May the generosity of your spirit lead you to break the chains of the past and may you have the energy to walk boldly on a path with heart.
In Beauty, Amara Charles
Next Quodoushka 1 workshop in January 30-Feb 2 2014. Phoenix
Amara Charles is the Author of Best Selling book.
I just finished a four-day, second-level, sacred
sexuality workshop called Quodoushka. While the first one
focuses on the self, this one focuses on relationship.
There are a lot of teachings
and exercises, some are talk-oriented, most are hands-on.
Agreements and boundaries are an important part of the
experience. I had a truly amazing time: the people in this
group were bright souls, with really good energy; I had
really good energetic exchanges and connections.
I got a lot of really
positive feedback about my presence, that I had a strong
impact on the group, that I “healed hearts, even
without directly interacting,” and that I helped some
folks work through some tough things. I in turn experienced
healing and a lot of clearing of old energy that no longer
served me. I felt much cleaner and brighter
Returning home, I noticed I
was very tender upon seeing Susan and Rumi. I felt bursting
with feeling, without ever being able to name any particular
emotion. I just felt feelings, and it left me weepy at
And then I felt the old
patterns creeping in. It didn’t take long—only a few
hours—before I was shutting down in the same ways as
before. Now, I had been thinking it was because Susan has a
strong masculine side that puts her in competition with me,
and that causes friction. And I had been thinking I was
going to need to be more masculine, to provide the safety of
a “masculine container,” so that she could
“let go” into her femininity. While that may be
true, I think the there’s more to it.
Later that night we were
feeling a little shut down. Lying in bed it was the same old
energy: flat. I was thinking “we should have sex,”
but her energy did not tell me she was open. Then, she said
“I think we should have sex.” Ha! Well….
The interaction was slow and
deliberate. I was really open, energetically, and could
sense a lot more than I ever could before. I noticed that
her heart chakra felt exquisite, just sweet and wonderful.
That surprised me, based on how I had been feeling with her.
Then I got to her third eye.
I was immediately and
strongly repulsed. It was shocking how More …
From a recent Q Graduate: Grace Purusha, Maui Life Coach
I have been deeply touched and affected by my recent experience at Quodoshka. I had attended the Q 30 years ago. At that time it was the most expansive training I could have imagined. And yet, at this time in my maturity, I feel the messages of this path were even more richly applicable.
The expertise of Amara, and her extraordinary ability to communicate and articulate the teachings of the medicine wheel, and the myriad ways it shows up in our relating and sexuality, were exquisite and inspiring. There was never a dull moment. I’m an educator myself, and recognize a master when I hear one. It went far beyond information, as she held space and offered guidance to every kind of report, remark, and feedback that arose in this highly charged, open for expansion arena. Amara is highly intelligent, sensitive, done her own work, and sprinkles in her superb sense of humor whenever possible. And she’s adorable too.
Equally valuable to the training
Next Quodoushka Sex and Intimacy Workshop for Singles and Couples:
Phoenix January 30-February 2
Facilitators: Amara Charles, Mukee Okan and John Kent More …
a new world of possibility, created by the combined vision of Amara Charles and Steven Barnes
e·rot·ic /iˈrätik/ adjective
Erotic Intelligence is about becoming sensitively attuned to the constant fluctuations life presents and then using this awareness to properly discern what to do.
–Imagine living a life where everything you do leads to your dreams…and the fulfillment of those dreams increases your overall pleasure, joy, and erotic adventure.
–Imagine living in a world where every erotic awareness increases your energy and aliveness, enabling your creativity, health, fitness, and success!
In 1928, Napoleon Hill’s classic THINK AND GROW RICH revealed that the most successful men and women had highly charged erotic natures. And that through the process he called “Sex Transmutation” actually used this energy to drive their creativity and worldly accomplishment.
But using sexual energy to drive accomplishments is not the whole story, for the real challenge is to channel your erotic energy with wisdom so you can fully enjoy the whole journey toward success.
Now, for the first time, the two worlds of worldly success and erotic delight have joined together to create a unique blueprint. More …
I’m very, very happy to say that the Art of Erotic Intelligence course is ready to go…
The idea is to inspire you to use your passion to empower every aspect of your life, a core secret of high-performing artists, inventors, business folk and lovers since the beginning of time: energy is energy, but we don’t always understand how to access it.
But if you can tap into and release it in ONE arena of your life, you have the doorway to opening it in EVERY arena of your life.
To be effective, it had to merge male and female energies, and
no matter how balanced I might be, I was always going
to lean heavily on the “female” side. Fortunately, I didn’t have to go looking for someone to do this with. For twenty years, it has been my honor to be
friends with STEVEN BARNES. He’s not only a NYT best-selling author who has written for television and Hollywood movies, he’s also a 4th Degree Blackbelt and Tai Chi and Yoga instructor. Even more than these accomplishments, what I most respect about Steve is his devotion to his son Jason – which I feel adds tremendous power to his masculine perspective.
We’ve had endless conversations and fascinating debates about
how to harness, express, and teach using our erotic intelligence.
We never agreed totally, (or sometimes at all! ) and it suddenly hit
both of us–that lack of total convergence wasn’t a weakness,
it was actually a strength!
We were both sick of teachers who pretend to be in alignment
on every little aspect of their teaching.
The truth is that human beings never agree totally. Heck,
you don’t totally agree with what you thought YESTERDAY!
So we had a unique opportunity, because while we don’t agree
totally, we DO respect each other’s positions. Steve has mastered several disciplines, and has clamoring, devoted students around the world. He is married to the lovely Tananarive Due, a highly acclaimed award winning author in her own right.
I’ve learned something valuable creating this project with Steve, for or one thing, he knows how to be friends with a woman. We decided to try teaching a workshop together, and a little bit of magic happened…
Hi. Amara here, and I’m finally about to open the doors to a fabulous project I’ve been working on for years, called The Art of Erotic Intelligence and we had to get it just right.
My passion in presenting this program comes from my desire to give you the cherries of what I’ve learned about how to harness your erotic sexual energy with intelligence in order to manifest anything.
Remember your first innocent kiss where there was a distinctly different kind of hum that moved through your whole body? Pretty yummy, wasn’t it? Now…think of a time when you were immersed in something you totally loved doing…where you lost track of time… and you were completely in the flow.
Stop. DON’T JUST READ THESE WORDS. Actually stop and remember. Do this, and you’ll begin to sense the connection between these things. Imagine being able to tap into this core life force energy on demand, whenever you need focus, motivation, inspiration, or a Jolt of creative energy.
Erotic Intelligence is the ability to navigate through life manifesting by moving in a relaxed, intelligent way from one thing to the next, being PULLED by your passion rather than pushing yourself or others.
It’s about increasing your attraction and energy in certain ways so that instead of running after people and things, they are drawn to you. It is aligning your entire life so that every action creates more juice, takes you closer to your true goals and generates the kind of awareness that makes you an attractive, magnetic light who draws the highest opportunities into your world.
NOTHING is sexier than sincere confidence and magnetism. A man or woman aware of who they are and where they are going is naturally erotic, and if he or she uses this energy wisely, their intelligence will be as attractive as their bodies. Expressed as confidence in a man, and magnetism in a woman, it’s like a prowling cat on the hunt …a simultaneously spiritual, loving being strong and confident enough to be open hearted.
We’re going to show you how to have both. Just a few more days now!
We were invited by Jaiya to teach her partner the White Tigress Magssage on VH1.
It was an amazing experience and Jaiya was awesome. She had a crew of about 20 people affiliated with VH1 filming her for the show: I’m Married to a Sexologist.
We were invited (as a birthday present for Jaiya) to teach her partner Ian how to give Jaiya a sensuous White Tigress Massage. The White Tigress Massage is for increasing sexual potency, sexual restoration and sexual intensity.
Touch is the heart of intimacy. Depriving our selves of loving touch is one of the biggest mistakes we can make, because without connected, intimate touch stress sky rockets and the mind gets foggy. Sensuous touch may be the single most important thing you can do to sustain a loving relationship.
Here are Five Ways that Touch Can Enhance Your Relationship
Bringing variety of touch into the bedroom is not a matter of doing difficult things to please your lover. Being a better lover is much more subtle. It involves spontaneously touching in new ways. Can you touch your lovers and make your fingers move from feeling like water, earth wind and then fire? Check out Touch for Two for some great guidance on the variety of touch.
The Nine Erogenous Zones of the Love Game
Stimulating the Nine Erogenous Zones through playful, sensual touch
not only helps build trust between you and your lover, it makes the game of love intriguing and fun. Listen to this audio to get some ideas about how to arouse your lover, perfectly and playfully getting ready for love.
The words that come from our lips are what make our hands feel warmer. Thoughts of beauty cause sensuous words to flow from our mouths. These words not only float into our lover’s ears, they cause the whole body to open for pleasure.
Being receptive means first listening to listen to your own desires. Don’t know what they are? Not to worry: you don’t have to get into your head about what you need. Everybody needs loving touch. Try this: begin with giving your lover a particularly slow and warm hug. ‘Listen’ to the way it makes you feel. Now, ‘feel into’ your partner. Can you feel his or her body melt when you give a doubly slow and endearing hug without expecting anything?
Touching Special Places
Keep in mind these three things when touching especially erotic places.
Delicacy. Tease. Deep Satisfaction. Our most erotic places on the body yearn to be wanted. Yet they only open for touch when we knock gently on the door first. With permission, these places love to be surprised and have been known to moan for more. This is when touch goes straight to the soul, for there is nothing better in life than to be touched by someone we love.
Amara Introduces the Touch of Wind, Water, Earth and Fire for her guided inspirational, instructional sensuous touch video download: Touch for Two.