My Monthly Passion

A Simple Love Habit that Works

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Yesterday I spoke with a couple having intimacy issues.
They were eager to give me the list of wasn’t working.
‘The first thing’ I said ‘you must to drop the habit of beginning with
the past.’

You will never feel like being intimate
by constantly bringing up what has not worked.
Constant criticism defeats desire. I suggested they spend
the week sharing as many sweet memories as they could.

When I get hooked into the habit of bringing up disappointing things, I first have to notice that I am doing this. When we are asleep to how our unkind words put out the fire of our passion we keep going down this futile tunnel.

The only juice you get from trying to correct your lover by pointing out what went wrong the last time is being ‘right’. Even if you manage to score a point with even tiny insults,   you are going to feel alone. We certainly know that insulting our lover is a dead end, but sometimes that perverse habit of criticizing wins the moment, and we say unkind things. Our ego is seems to win the battle, but our hearts always suffer.

It may sound trite to say as many kind things as you can to your lover, but in the realm of intimacy, it’s particularly true. We can retrain our minds to consciously speak of times when things worked well. Make it a habit to recall excellence, beauty and tenderness. Deliberately share victories with your beloved throughout your day. It’s simple, and it works. You just have to do it often enough to put your brain in the proper state of mind to be more loving and kind to each other.

Make it a point to share several beautiful memories and see what happens in the bedroom. I hope you’re pleasantly surprised what flows naturally from your hearts.

Because Beauty is a Living State of Love.

In beauty

Amara

Five Things Women Do in the Presence of an Alpha Male

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The Alpha Male

As fascinating as the topic of the Instinctive Design of Erotic Attention* was really, it’s the bronco ride of co-creating with an alpha male that lifts my skirt these days.

My recent collaboration inspires me to reflect on the five things women tend to do when we’re with an alpha male. But first, I suppose, we should ask, What are the signs you’ve got an alpha male on your hands?

He’s Unpredictable. Check. Powerfully assertive yet yielding at the right moments. Check. He’s an unabashed, indomitable and at times he’s an unstoppable leader. Yet, as strong as he appears, a superior alpha male bows gracefully to feminine intelligence whenever she shows a face wiser than his own. Double  Check.

The five things we tend to do are run, put him above us, contend, control or cultivate and then ride on the curves of his magic. Any of these options may be correct depending on the man and the time. The approaches you choose will either take you into tangled webs of disappointment or they will intensify the quality of happiness in your intimate relations with men.

Running

Although the option of running may seem weak, if you sense an alpha male is using his seductive charms to get something you do not wish to give, running away could be an act of power.  But how many of us, intrigued by an alpha male’s charm, stay longer than we know is right?

To reflect on the reasons why, consider this: cajoling you into giving something that you actually desire, but are afraid to give can be quite alluring. An alpha male must become good at hunting for the hidden needs of a woman; predators take advantage of them.

More …

How Did You Know I Wanted This?

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I believe happiness in our intimate relations can change the world.  Our feminine and masculine essence is absolutely precious; and when we can give this freely, without any expectation of return, it is the most valuable substance on earth.

How we give our most sacred, most special essence is a matter of practicing the skill of what the Buddhists call ‘Exchanging Your Self for Others’.

We tend to think our most intimate expressions happen under the sheets wrapped in the arms of a lover. Yet, the secret to having more of these moments, if this is what you want, is by practicing Benevolent Compassion.

Exchanging Your Self for Others is an active practice of Benevolent Compassion. It’s a matter of learning to observe by watching, asking questions to find out, noticing reactions, and constantly listening for clues about what someone likes. You will begin to see that the most revealing clues about what we really like come out unconsciously. More …

Announcing a New Scholarship Program from Nourishing Arts

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Help Sponsor someone to attend any Quodoushka 1 presented by Amara Charles – Nourishing Arts

I am creating a Q Scholarship Program asking students to match donations given to them.

Here is How It Works

  • potential student may apply to amara@amaracharles.com for the program
  • Amara Charles- Nourishing Arts will receive payments for the Q Scholarship Program
  • When you purchase;100% of your donation will make it possible for a student to attend. More …

The I.D.E.A of Erotic Intelligence

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Saturday I. D. E. A.  1 Day Workshop (info)

Instinctive Design of Erotic Attention

Phoenix, March 8th 11am-9pm

Cost: $99

Also:

 NEW! Phoenix Tantra Meet Up. Erotic Intelligence Intro

Friday Night, March 7th  

Cost $15

The ’13 Often’ for Easy Health Preservation

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“13″ may not be an American’s favor number, but here is the “13 often” you need to favor for easy health preservation. No equipments needed, free of charge, no location requirement, and you can do it anytime.

1. Comb the hair often: stimulate the scalp, activate the brain, better than fish oil;
2. Roll the eyes often: improve the sight, clarify the mind;
3. Pull the ears often: stimulate all 89 ear acu-points that cover the entire human body; More …

Parents Love The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka

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The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka: Teachings from the Nagual Tradition (Paperback)

I just started to read the book, and I am already thankful. I too was pretty much left in limbo regarding sexual relations when I was growing up. I got the church’s doctrine on the matter: don’t do it…you’ll get someone pregnant…it’s a sin to even think about it…oh, and it is also a sin to explore your own body through masturbation. There was no practical guidance from church, parents, or teachers as I stumbled through my sexual experiences and wondered why my experiences didn’t measure up to those displayed in the popular media (advertising, movies, magazines, etc.). Emotional and physical sexual development for me was done in the dark and always with a mental battle as to whether I should even be exploring this aspect of my personality. Some sort of mentoring process would have been very beneficial. Actually, In fact, I am sure it would still be beneficial since being mid-aged now I feel as though I have just barely scratched the surface of my sexual potential. I guess that is why I searched and found Quodoushka.The first chapter of the book has made me keenly aware of the source of my fairly recent feelings of being an insufficient parent for my young teenage children. This wasn’t a problem when they were younger, but I have difficulty now as they are starting to think about the opposite sex and sex in general. I would really like to give my kids some guidance other than the rhetoric and limbo I was given at that age, but I haven’t known how to even begin. Too much information before they are ready for it could be just as damaging as too little. Thankfully, I am also realizing from the text that I have already started my children on a solid path through my introducing them to nature and showing them the value of being observant in life and a good steward at home, school, and in the world. I am looking forward to learning much more about my sexual and parental potentials as I continue to read this wonderful book of knowledge.

Amara Says

Thank you for sharing this Dancing Yogi. I cannot tell you how many people – from all different cultures- I have met who have had little or no real sexual guidance or education from anyone.As I mention in this book, the harm caused by perpetuating negative attitudes about sex is immeasurable for when we do not have something instilled at the core of our being that says that sex is healthy, natural and good, it weakens the joy in every connection we make. When we have to hide our pleasure, when we feel guilty for the natural joy that creation has given us it paves the way for confusion in our adult relationships. Why in the world would we want to pass on this legacy? I commend you for your simple wisdom and for trying to introduce the world of sex to your children by having them look into the natural world around them. I am happy that my book inspired you to do something you probably already knew. I loved writing the chapter on An Initiation into the World of Sexuality. In many ways, it’s just plain common sense, yet because so many of us never had a good introduction to our sexuality, we get confused. We want to give our children the best we can, but we don’t always know how. As I say in many different ways in my book, the best thing we can do for our children is to get clear ourselves, heal the wounds we can, and then honestly answer the questions they ask.

I am thrilled by the responses from so many parents who are showing my book to young teens. They appreciate having some real guidance, and a starting place to talk about sex. A lot of people ask me ‘when should I show my children?’ I always say, ‘when they are interested, when they ask.’

I still see so many fine people that are hindered and held back from love and intimacy because of sexual things that happened to them when they were young. It takes a tremendous effort to overcome the wounds that happen because of ignorance, and again I commend you for taking steps to put the misinformation behind you. Many of us may wish we had these teachings way earlier, but I know it’s time now to begin a life of more care and sensitivity for your self, Mother Life, and others.

Thank you for sharing.
In beauty,
Amara

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Opening to the Infinite

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I love the kind of brave openings that only you know are a really big deal; like bouts of over-the-top sweetness that take you by surprise, or showing some secret talent you usually keep hidden. I had no idea that Spar was about to open wide, or that he’s a really well-known artist. (he didn’t mention his work is in the UN and collected by the likes of Richard Branson.)

It was the last day of the Maui Quodoushka, the day we always seem to reach a magical matrix, so of course I said yes when he (rather shyly) asked if he could bring out a few paintings.

‘They’re actually private’ he said,  ‘I’ve never shown these to anyone but close friends.’  

That was before Quodoushka.  By now we were close friends.

As he unwrapped his work for us, revealing soft and subtle places his corporate clients might only privately peer at, it was like he was stripped naked.

More …

Announcing a New Workshop with Amara Charles and Steven Barnes

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Premier 1 Day Workshop with Amara Charles & Steven Barnes for Singles and Couples March 8. Phoenix
New Date: March 7 th & *th, Phoenix

The IDEA of increasing your prowess (sexiness in motion) is a matter of learning to become an instinctively healthy, sexy human animal. When your body, mind and heart are all singing the same song, intuitive action becomes the rule of your life.

Singles and Couples Register Here

Cost: $99

NEW DATE: MARCH 8. NE Phoenix (Address Provided upon Registration)

PHOENIX TANTRA MEET UP MARCH 7TH

 

Steven Barnes:

the “Secret Formula”
is a luck magnet.   I’m telling you,
when you have clear goals, believe
you can and should do it, are taking
constant action (and of course
noticing your results and making
micro-adjustments, while committing
to constant improvement) and
living every day with an “attitude
of gratitude” you attract allies like
crazy.  And most strangely, “luck”
multiplies.  Opportunities come to
you with the predictability of American
Express and Visa offers arriving in
the mail if you raise your credit score.
When you don’t need money, people
offer you credit.  When you don’t
have a job, you can’t get a job, but
as soon as you have one other
people offer employment.  When
you don’t have a relationship you
can’t get one, but as soon as you
have one people mysteriously start
showing interest.

1 Day Workshop with Amara Charles & Steven Barnes

But really,  this will not be a mere discussion of concepts to stir your passion… each IDEA is a body experience designed to help you experience the instinctive design of your erotic intelligence.The idea of course is to increase your body intelligence so you can draw on your intuition any time you need it. More …

Feature Article: Let Men Adore You

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What would happen if you let the men in your life utterly adore you? Can you imagine having men eager to provide whatever they can, able to take you into realms of pleasure you have may never known? Can you picture men who are turned on by finding ways to delight your body, mind and soul?

In my experience, when given the chance, these are precisely the things that men are absolutely dying to do for us.

But why do men seldom succeed? Why do they frequently fall short,
leaving things unsaid and undone? And why do they so often seem clueless, asking us what we want?

In my experience, it’s a matter of inspiring men rather than asking for or demanding the things we want. Yes, we can ask, and sometimes even demand that they step up. But what works best is to let our selves be surprised by what they do.

How often (I’m speaking now to women) have you asked a man to do something only to be frustrated that he didn’t listen, or he forgot, or even did the very thing you asked him not to do?

This is the first task: let a man be inspired by your openness.
It’s no secret men love to feel free, and that they often bristle at being told what to do – especially by a woman. So pay attention to how you ask for what you want. Is there a hidden agenda? Are you too attached to the way you expect things to be done?

The way to inspire his best to come pouring out is to relax into your beauty. I’m not referring only to putting on nice clothes or working out (although this may certainly inspire him too), I also mean to guard your speech, your eyes and your heart.

Try to say beautiful things about yourself and others. Notice beautiful things. Focus on creating beauty around you until there are surges of beauty that show up wherever you go.

One of the most important secrets to letting a man adore you is to cultivate the feeling that”I deserve pleasure. And I am worth it”.
For a man cannot cherish you unless you first begin, little by little, to love your self more.

What makes you shine most brightly- this is what men find irresistible-
is a kind of selfless shine. If you express selfishness, jealousy, greed or ignorance, this is precisely what will appear in the men around you.

A selfless shine is a luster that emanates from a woman who is plump with joy; it comes from a woman whose spirit generates happiness, trust and hope. She has a kind of erotic intelligence that supports his dreams and so she does not need to ‘get’ men to do anything…

When a woman nourishes her self, life and others this way she will be surrounded and supported by men who do the same. It’s a profound
pleasure to inspire men’s greatness by being someone worthy to protect, provide and create for.

In beauty
Quehestemehah (You dance in my heart)

(c) Amara Charles 2013
Keeps the Fire

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