Just for fun, I looked up ‘queen’ to see whether the common definition came anywhere close to my take on the word. I was especially curious to see if her feminine erotic intelligence (the most delightful quality of a queen) is included in our average dictionary.
Of course, Webster fails to mention the lusty, erotic things I envision. It merely states things like; ‘a woman regarded as excellent or outstanding‘ Even the bit about ‘the player‘ being ‘able to move any number of unobstructed squares in any direction‘ doesn’t begin to cover the vast and mystical things that come to mind when I say the word.
As I was creating this new workshop, we went on the hunt for a western term that could capture the highest attributes of the feminine. We landed on Shakti Queen so that we could point our arrow towards divinity, health, erotic pleasure as well as the boundless vitality and love that surges through women when we are at our best.
We set out to explore the dimensions of our feminine nature and to develop our ultimate hidden potential in ordinary, earthy ways -while still expressing our deep down desire to generate wealth and enjoy our men men too. Sounds heady, but it’s simple: things like having a whole lot more joy to nourish our bodies, planting good seeds, and avoiding the quagmires of perceiving drama where there needn’t be any. Did I mention softly expressing the She Thoughts of fluid intimacy, prowess, strength and creative originality? But mostly, it turned out to be getting the feel of our spontaneous erotic intelligence, which is, in the end, knowing what is really good for us and what is not.
But here I wish to say something about the genius that shines through an ordinary queen - that is when a woman finds her voice and her body and doesn’t lose her mind in the incessant tangle of nothing-quite-goes-the-way-you-expect-it-to, and yet, somehow, manages to be beautiful anyway.
For example, one of the women sent a text to tell me how the night went with her guy after our retreat. It’s a perfect example of the mostly unseen heroic deeds of a true queen. And its a good example of how doing our ordinary business seems messy, and rarely feels queenly at all.
(Now men, if you’re still reading, listen up here. Lest you feel this note is just for us girls, can you imagine an uptick in your life if you were surrounded by glowing, shinny, deeply happy women who have it in mind to scoup into their hearts and serve up the love that swells in their bellies and yearns to be tasted. If you think your life would be better with such a queen , then it’s wise to keep listening for the clues of what she likes best in you.)
Back to our story:
‘When I called him up, I got the “troll” voice, she said. Here I was, beaming from our weekend, proud of everything I did, and I get this dull little voice. It wasn’t the first time he was not happy for me.’
Recalling everything we experienced together, I said,
‘Go to him as a woman. Don’t make anything up about the tone of his voice, and don’t bring up the past.’ She does this, and then says, ‘It was interesting.We didn’t make love right away, even though I know he wanted to. I was tired. But I didn’t give up or push him away either. In fact, I just kept telling him I loved him. I know he just needs reassurance.’
Naturally, with a little rest, patience and a light heart, a lovely union was assured.
Could any outburst (or inburst) of anger or resentment be quenched with relentless gestures of tenderness, understanding and intelligence? I haven’t seen anything that works better. And I am certain the courage that makes a woman move with a certain amount of regal, majestic power is precisely what turns us into irresistible, womanly queens. And it happens in the quiet, unseen moments such as these.
Quehestimah, ‘You Dance in My Heart’
In beauty, Amara Charles
Our Next Shakti Queen Woman’s Retreat is December in NYC.
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Amara Charles is author of the Best Selling "The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka'
Helen says:
October 4, 2012
What a great post. Yes, there are times where we don’t feel so regal, and little things seem to be challenging, but as you said, with a little patience, spaciousness and love (for both ourselves and for our partners), the sticky situation can be gracefully (and sometimes humorously) turned around.