I think maybe we all want sex that makes us shiver and sweat all over, but we also want sex that makes us smile, and melt into each others bodies all night. Do we have to choose between hot sex or intimate sex? While some talking is needed to have either how sex or cozy sex, it’s good to know when to talk and when to stop.
Here’s one of my favorite ways to hit the sweet spot. We started by talking about what we love to do. I praised my lover about all kinds of things he was doing and tried (not too successfully) not to talk about myself.
If you’re with me so far, don’t miss the most important thing. Do you know what it is? Listening. I listened for openings such as when he said, ‘I’m tired.’ “Yes,” I said, “I know. Is there anything I can get you?” My most intimate sex happens when I’m in the mood to give what my lover’s needs.
Okay, so lets say you’ve had an endearing talk and it seems like there might be an opening for sex.
Now it’s time to stop talking. There comes a point when too much talking takes the energy down. Once I stop talking, I make a move, or even better, I let my lover make one.
I gave him a kiss and stroked his hair and then I withdrew. I pulled back slightly, but I stayed near. I like to create desire, a chase, a little game of hide and seek.
Then I went back to talking, but only briefly and I kept doing this until the cake in the oven started to rise. I call it courtship, and if you want intimate sex, never forget to court, compliment and cajole your lover to bits. I love doing this.
Once you court your lover well, whether it’s with raunchy talk or sweet talk, then and only then is it time to strip down to the (not too) serious business of lovemaking.
Another great thing that happened that day; the ‘afterlude’ was as good as the prelude.
Have you ever talked dirty after lovemaking? I did and lo and behold, we started again.
This is one of my favorite ways to enjoy intimate sex, and it may or may not work for you.
What talk works for you?
Let me know, I’d love to hear from you.
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Our next Touch for Two LIVE is in Phoenix, March 25. If you want an incredibly elegant way to inspire more intimacy, and bring your heart together with your bodies as one, come join us for an amazing couple’s night of live music and guided sensuous touch.